In case you were going to ask for my financial opinion...

Well, it's official. I have exactly 12 days of freedom left before I start my new job. 12 days to explore, 12 days to lounge around in my pajamas watching Oprah. 12 days to simply roll over after Caleb's alarm goes off. Mmm.....sorry Cabe, but that's the ULTIMATE state of bliss. Only because when you're getting up every day to an alarm clock, your ultimate fantasy is to be able to shut it off, roll over, and escape to Dreamland. Am I right folks?!

As sad as it is to give up my lounging days, it will be nice to have that little extra cash to put away. We feel very blessed to be able to live quite comfortably on Caleb's salary, and now to be able to put the money I will be making into a nice secure savings account. Maybe I'll get crazy and try my hand at the stock market. EEE!!!

"Um, let's buy uh, 50 shares of Oprah!! No, make that 100 shares of....."

To be honest, I know nothing about the stock market. Couldn't even come up with a good second stock choice there. Is it Oprah stock? Shares of Oprah sounds like the title to a Harlequin romance novel.

And while I'm displaying the range of my financial knowledge, I should just go ahead and say that I have absolutely no idea what exactly a 401K plan is. Something for retirement? Do I need that if I plan to retire in like, a year? Probably not.

Note to self: Buy "Financial Crap for Dummies". Or whatever.

And oh. Go to bed. Headache + Writers Block = Hit the Tempur Pedic NOW. Before someone gets hurt.

Heavenly Lettuce Wraps

Tonight I ate at P.F. Chang's for the first time ever in my entire life. For real. I say "ate at", and that's really the key point of this story.

You see, back when I was stupid (there are several stories that start this way, ye be warned...) I went to P.F. Chang's with all the girls on my Dad's side of the family. Aunts, cousins, etc. etc. etc. We were going to eat and then see some disgustingly adorable chick flick. Total girl night, right? I was pretty excited. However, I received an unexpected visit from Aunt Flow. And I mean unexpected in every sense of the word - Auntie Flow has never felt it necessary to set any sort of schedule with me. Ever. So I popped a few Midol's and prepared for the ultimate girl fest. This is where the stupid part comes in - I thought to myself "You're going to be eating at a restaurant tonight that everyone raves about. The food shall be good, and therefore you need to not eat at all today to prepare your stomach for the heavenly sustenance that will surely come."

Or something like that.

So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of P.F. Chang's on a Friday night. At 5 pm, prime "rush hour" for any restaurant. And I'm not feelin' so hot. I figure though that it's just because I'm hungry, and that these prized lettuce wraps will do the trick. We finally are seated, and I of course, am smack dab in the middle of this gargantuan table, whose original purpose I'm sure was to seat Ali Baba and his forty thieves. I try to focus on the lettuce wraps and fried chicken and Mu Shu Pork or whatever it is everyone is talking about, but everything is making me feel like I'd rather nail my toes to the ground than listen to all this food talk. My stomach is churning, and I'm feelin' THAT feeling....the one where your ears start to buzz, and you can hear the ocean. I start to realize that feeling isn't going to go away, and my last thought was that I should really get up and head straight for THAT BATHROOM. THE ONE IN MY TUNNEL VISION.

And that's really all I remember about that.

Until, that is I start to hear voices, people asking me if I'm okay, and everyone asking the same CAN YOU HEAR ME?! question. When my eyes suddenly focus, I'm staring at the Ali Baba table which has been shoved about 3 feet in front of me. I start to look around at everyone, wondering why in the world they were looking at me like I'd just lost my mother or something. Or that I'd just told them I like to eat meal worms for breakfast. I finally looked down in my lap and realized that I was completely covered in puke. And then it all starts to make sense... When I finally convinced them that I was capable of standing on my own, my mom quickly (thank heavens...) escorted me out of the restaurant, down the street, past several gawking pedestrians, and into her car.

And the lettuce wraps? Never even smelled them.

And that's like, the third time I've passed out and puked in a public place, and I don't drink alcohol. So everyone? Learn from me, and never take a Midol on an empty stomach. And if you do? Don't go out in public.

And? I finally tried those lettuce wraps, and they WERE pretty dang good.

AND? Nothing. I just figured that 4 "and's" might look good together.

They don't.

Life Lessons...

Lesson #236 in How to NOT Hire Someone:

When calling up an applicant for a job that you have posted, do not start out the conversation with "Well, our number one choice for this postion canceled on us, and um. Well. You were DEFINITELY in the top three......"

Just trust me on this one.

Mix Master

So, I didn't post yesterday. It may or may not have anything to do with the fact that Caleb and I babysat his sister's three kids last night. Good kids. Crazy kids.

Wild and Krazy Kids. Did anyone else watch that show? I totally loved it. Did they spell crazy with a "K" like that? I'm thinking they did, but it's been so long. And I'm way too tired to Google it. You're with me though, right?

Anyway. Today we had a little get-together with the ward (read: church members) that we belong to. So I had a great reason to bust out my new fabulous Christmas present:

Ta Da! My first ever Kitchenaid Mixer. In...Citron? Lemon Lime? Some puky retro green color that I absolutely am in love with. I love it. Hands-free mixing! Who'da thunk?! And if you look closely, you can see my pajama'd self. And our lovely canisters. And...I think that's a bag of brown sugar? And our trusty duct-taped camera. (Update on said camera: duct-tape has lost nearly all of it's stickiness, and we are forced to hold the duct-taped battery compartment down to take a single picture. And I simply can't be bothered to go find the stupid tape in our mess-of-a-closet on the deck. Seriously, we've lived here for what? Two months, and it's already in shambles?! I can't think about it, or else I won't be able to sleep tonight....)

Anyway, last night after we'd put the little rugrats to bed we sat down to watch a movie his sister had left for us. A boot-legged edited version of "Little Miss Sunshine" that his sister's neighbor had lended them. We don't watch R rated movies, you see. Anyway, despite the uh, less-than-perfect editing job, I really enjoyed the movie. Great characters. I like real movies. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love a good unbelievable car chase ending with some ridiculous but romantic rescue of the dude's beloved, but every once in a while it's nice to watch a movie that might just happen to me. The little girl was adorable, and all the characters really endearing. Except for the dad, Greg Kinear. He did a great job of course, but what's up with him always playing the roles that I have to hate? Honestly. The restaurant / ice-cream scene? Never in my life have I ever wanted to simultaneously slink under the table AND hit someone. That part was a little TOO real for me.

And lastly, (just so you're all as freaked out as I am) how am I expected to be able to sleep knowing that THIS is out there?!?!?! (Don't think it's scary enough? Watch the video...) NIGHT.MARES.

Out to Market

Today we went to a local fruit and vegetable market. I love to buy my produce at these places. And you know why? Not because they're like, SO way better, or that like, the apples at Safeway taste like crap. Cause they don't, I mean, they're apples. I like to buy produce at these little stands because...of the way it feels. Like I've stepped back in time, back to when people sold the fruit at the market that they had spent all year cultivating. It's so nostalgic, you know? You step in under the little tent, grab a tiny shopping cart or bag, and start rummaging through the various vegetables, fruits, nuts, spices etc. Picking up a cucumber and feeling it's thick oily skin. Smelling the bottoms of pineapples or cantelope to tell if it's ripe. Finding the most colorful orange pepper in the display. For some reason I don't get this kind of satisfaction when I'm roaming the isles of the grocery store. Plus, this particular stand had so many different vegetables and fruit that I'd never heard of. I could have wandered for hours just looking at them all. Behind the fresh produce they had several isles of packaged goods. Some were normal, like Rice-A-Roni, but there were also tons of different kinds of foods from different countries. Some of the boxes didn't have a word of English on them. I loved it. Is there any other place you can think of that sells fresh, still-sitting-in-the-water feta cheese? Cactus? Three different kinds of Boc Choi? Four different kinds of oranges? Kumquats? I mean really, I haven't seen a kumquat in ages. We finally bought somemangoes, bananas, kumquats and fresh local honey. It was hard, I sort of had a flashback from the first time I went to Ikea. You know, like there's so many things you want to buy that you can't make yourself buy anything?! And you want to know the best part? They take credit and debit cards. Honestly.

See me in the back? I'm rummaging.

Orange Variety #3 - With stems attached.

Beautiful, isn't it? Are you hungry yet? I am...

Night Games

Does this look like the face of a dog who was so excited to play with his frisbee that he carried it all the way down the hall, in the elevator, through the lobby, out the door, across the patio...only to drop it and proceed to fill it up with his own pee?

Cause it is.

You can see him replaying it in his mind.

"Ohhhhh yes. That was so choice.........."

Except his little plan backfired when we saw it and decided it was high time that frisbee took a one way trip down the trash shoot.

We felt bad for him though, being all excited to do something other than lay on his bed all day, and decided to get the Chuck-it and um, chuck his ball.

Which also backfired because our dog is a retard and doesn't watch where the ball is going. He missed that whole lesson in baseball, you know, the keep-your-eye-on-the-ball one. He was about 1 for 10. The other nine times he spent a good three minutes running back and forth across the field, usually about 30 feet further than the ball actually had gone, looking for it. About 5 of those times we (and when I say we, I mean Caleb) actually had to go get it for him.

So, game over. Match? The Humans.

Few Moments of Fame

So in 1995 I was in 5th grade. In Mrs. Avery's class in the portables. Don't remember much to tell you the truth, except that we learned how to play ukulele's that year. Not exactly sure WHY, and I couldn't strum a note to save my life any more, but hey. What would my life be like had I not learned how to play "Tom Dooley"? I honestly don't know. Anyway, during the summer I got a little job to babysit my neighbor's daughter's son. She was living in the basement and working to make little metal light plate things. You know, the (normally) plastic things that hug your light switch? She was making them out of copper and burning them with some torch or something to make them all blue and pink and purple and stuff to sell at boutiques. One day after I'd put the baby down I stood in the half-kitchen with her while the International Olympic Committee announced that Salt Lake City would be hosting the 2002 Winter Olympics. Pretty exciting stuff right? Especially since we lived about 10 minutes North of Salt Lake. All I knew was that 2002 seemed LIGHT YEARS away. Eons actually. I remember thinking "I'll be in High School by then! I'll be so OLD! I'll be DRIVING!!!!!!!" Which, of course to a 5th grader is like, the ultimate in cool-ness.

Fast forward to 2001.

It's the summer before my senior year of high school and the Olympics are just around the corner. The highway construction is FINALLY nearing it's end, and Salt Lake is undergoing major renovations. We're cleaning up the trash. Finding new homes for the homeless. I've been dancing for our high school's dance team for 2 years and have made some long strides in my abilities. When I hear that they are holding auditions to dance in the Olympic ceremonies, I figured why not! I have as good a chance as any. So I grabbed my dance shoes and made up my mind to dance my little heart out. I arrived and while we all waited to begin, I started sizing up my competition. To my dismay, the large majority of them were older. Like, moms and dads. Grandmas and grandpas. I did see a hand full of potential competitors, but not nearly as many as I had thought there would be. And by the time we started learning our "number" as they called it (note: that is NOT the word PROFESSIONAL dancers use...), I was frantically looking for an exit sign. I did NOT want to be caught dead two-steppin' it in front of millions of people. I just couldn't bear the heel-turn, step-step stuff. Thankfully before I bolted, the director pulled me and about 5 other girls aside to teach us a "ROUTINE". Finally! Pirouettes! Leaps! Counts! DANCING! I learned, I performed, I went home.

Several weeks later I got a letter saying that I'd made it! I was going to dance in the closing ceremony! I couldn't be more excited, and I still had MONTHS before practices would start.

The snow began to fall, and it was time to head up to the University of Utah to practice. I had to park a zillion miles away and scurry in the frigid air clutching my dance shoes, to the right tent among hundreds. After walking in and finding the other 5 girls, we all excitedly waited for the routine we'd be taught. We'd been told that a very high profile choreographer would be working with us, and my stomach was just in knots. I couldn't eat a thing the entire day. However, after a few minutes we were told that our choreographer was unavailable, and um, they really needed a few more people for the OTHER number. Would we still be interested in participating?

Participating. Not dancing. Key word there....

Sigh, yes, we'd be interested. After all these months of shyly announcing I'd be dancing in the Olympics, I wasn't about to turn the opportunity down. So we were told that we'd be basically holding some wood pieces, and moving around. Fun huh!? "Oh! And one more thing. We're going to do it under ultra violet lights, so um, you're going to be wearing all black, with a black ski mask. Okay?!"

So practices were usually spent sitting around for the majority of the time, getting up for a few minutes to practice moving our pieces, and then sitting back down to wait. But still, I was participating in the Olympics, and that's not something that everyone gets a chance to do right? So I was happy.

The day finally came, and the excitement and fever that the entire region was feeling was still in full force. I'd been able to attend several award ceremonies, which is where they handed out the actual medals to the athletes. They were always followed by a small concert, and I'd been able to see Dave Matthews, The Foo Fighters and the Barenaked Ladies. Which rocked bytheway, even if it was outside and everyone looked like giant marshmellows standing as close as possible to one another to find some WARMTH, HOLY CRAP IT WAS COLD. I worked at the Banana Republic in the new outdoor mall right in the heart of the downtown festivities. I helped many a news reporter, athlete and sponsor try on some insanely overpriced blouses and button-ups. The Australian Coca-Cola reps? H.O.T. The Latvian ski team? Really nice. Hard to understand, but really nice. And news reporters? Curt and assuming. "Just get me a shirt to go with these pants NOW. NOW I SAY!"

So, the day was here. Slight detour, sorry.... anyway, I had to drive out to the middle of nowhere to park my car. Literally. Like, I think we were halfway out to the Great Salt Lake. Then we all had to sign away our life to get on a bus to be driven into Salt Lake. Security was tight. No one was getting in or out of the city unless they'd signed a waiver to give up their first child. This was all before 8 am. Mind you, we weren't on until like, 10 pm that night. So again, more waiting. This time along with like, 12,000 other people dressed in insanely odd clothing. I wandered around a lot, wrote in my journal, and tried to sleep.

In the last trial-run before the ceremonies, we waved at Moby who was in a little booth checking out the stage. He was the one who mixed all the music for the ceremony. He waved to my group of girls and told us we could head on over to his hotel room after for a party. Great! We'll be there!

Finally it was time! We all donned our black gear (head to toe!) and headed over to the stadium.

Along the way we ran into Christina Aguilera riding on a golf cart after her performance. I didn't think very highly of her at the time, and neither did my companions, so we all giggled as loud as possible and pretended to be absolutely overcome with excitement. She caught our sarcasm, and wasn't thrilled. Sorry Christina.

We kept walking and JUST MISSED N'Sync. Too bad...

As we were walking into the stadium I nearly ran into Donny and Marie Osmond. Hi Donny! You sure were hot in "Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat". And oh, you have some hot nephews bytheway.

Then as I was waiting to go on, Bon Jovi nearly ran me over. He apologized, winked, and walked off. Mind you, I was dressed in a black...jumpsuit. You know, the kind that car dudes wear? I felt OH-SO-ATTRACTIVE, but at least I wasn't wearing the ski-mask yet. There is that.

And then we were on. I have to admit, even after all the joking we'd all done together about how lame it was, ya know, the "dancing", it was absolutely insanely amazing. The music was nearly overpowering it was so loud, and the people! There were thousands! Plus all the millions of people watching at home, my family and friends included. It was so fun to be a part of it, even if it was a small one. I met some great people, and made some great memories, as you can see.

The two weeks that the Olympics were in Salt Lake were some of the most exciting that I'd been through. The city was literally just buzzing with this sense of pride and unity. So many people had worked for so long for that moment, and it was so exciting to be in the middle of it. I can only hope to have the opportunity again. It was pretty sweet.

The girls and I. I'm the second from the left. Just enjoyin' the stadium...

Behold, the Torch.

Can you see me? Probably not. Second from the right, and REALLY lovin' the black... See the "hats" on our heads? Rolled up ski-masks...

First Amendment

Since I believe in, and enjoy the right to speak, I wanted to say a bit about the State of the Union address tonight. There are a lot of grave points he had to touch on, and I think he did really well. The only thing I was hoping to hear was that America would raise the awareness of Darfur to the world, and demand that we offer help. I was really surprised by the "spotlights" he did, but in the end found it really heart-warming. Granted, never in my life would I ever have thought to hear the President of the United States say "Dikembe Mutumbo" in the State of the Union. Or "Baby Einstein" for that matter. But it was really great to see success and hero- stories spotlit, (is that a word?!). Also, did anyone see it? Did anyone see Dikembe Mutumbo next to that Asian lady?! I nearly DIED when he went to sat down...and she did too. I would have given up all the chocolate in the world that she was already sitting. She literally MAYBE hit his waist. Maybe. And she was probably wearing heels.

Anyway, I agreed with most of the ideas he proposed. I enjoyed the lovey-dovey moments, and felt just a little bit of that rallying-together feeling that was so abundant after 9-11. Hopefully it will spread and last.

You wanna know my favorite line? "Where much is given, much is required". Amen people.

Because I love my black heels....

Also, today I went to my 997th interview. It's pretty much the only thing that gets me dressed up in more than my pajamas these days. Which is good. Mmhmm.... But what is up with these double interviews? Is it just me? Probably. In every single job I've interviewed for they've said "Okay great, well, we'll let you know in a few days if we'd like you to come in for a second interview". Greatly prolonging this 'ole job hunt of mine. And you know, at first I thought okay, great, they're being thorough. Obviously this company wants to make sure they hire the right person. But um...I've been on SEVERAL of these "second interviews" and it's been pretty clear that...there's nothing new to ask, nothing new to offer.

"So....well....I guess I already asked you that last time..."

"Well? Any questions you can think of?" Uh, no, I asked them LAST time....

"Well.....I guess that's all....any questions you have? No? Okay, well, thank you, we'll let you know in three years...bla bla bla bla bla bla"

That's pretty much the gist of these second interviews aka time-wasters. All I can say is, I hope all of these awkward moments of humming and hawing produces one FABULOUS job. With lots of moolah. And maybe a fun perk or two. A girl can dream, right?

Peace Like A River

For my next trick, I shall attempt to write a review for ANOTHER book that I just finished. Only took me three days. All this extra time is LOVELY for book reading, that's for sure. Today I picked it up in the car after making a few deposits at the local Wells Fargo, figuring I'd read a bit before I decided which direction to head next. Because at the time, I had no clue what I wanted to do with the remainder of the day. So? I spent the next three hours in the parking lot, finishing the book. Absolutely fabulous, this book.

Peace Like A River
by Leif Enger

Leif Enger's best-selling debut is at once a heroic quest, a tragedy, and a love story, in which "what could be unbelievable becomes extraordinary" (The Miami Herald). Enger brings us eleven year-old Reuben Land, an asthmatic boy in the Midwest who has reason to believe in miracles. Along with his sister and father, Reuben finds himself on a cross-country search for his outlaw older brother who has been controversially charged with murder. Their journey unfolds like a revelation, and it's conclusion shows how family, love, and faith can stand up to the most terrifying of enemies, the most tragic of fates.

Now, I'm not one to put a whole lot of stock in reviews. Since moving to the area, Caleb and I spend a lot of time trying to decide what to do - usually, where to eat. We look up on Yahoo different restaurants in the area, and read their reviews, which usually ends in laughter. Tonight for instance, we read a review for a restaurant that praised the food, service, and ambiance, but was VERY upset because it wasn't "walker - friendly". One review saying the food too spicy, one saying it's too bland. It's all about opinions, and I generally like to make up my own, first. Anyway, where were we? Reviews? Ah yes, the book. It has a good 4 pages of reviews before the book starts. 'Nuff said, right?

I really enjoyed the voice of the narrator, the 11 year old boy. It was written almost as if he were looking back on his life, telling someone his story, and he tells it the way it happened. It's honest and real. You get to see the true unconditional love between family members, despite when things go wrong, and that subject just isn't lit upon very much these days. It has a very religious undertone, though not to any one church in particular. Miracles are a constant throughout the book, and you find yourself expecting them around every corner. I loved to read the exchanges between the two youngest siblings, Reuben and his little sister Swede. His undying love for his little sister, and her devotion to him. It's a beautiful story, set in a beautiful landscape in a time when everything seemed simple, slower. When a warm peach pie can make your day.

It's hard to write a review, I end up feeling like a groveling lover, anxiously trying to put all my feelings into a few short sentences. So I'll just end with a few little snippets, good little bits.

"Let me say something about that word: miracle. For too long it's been used to characterize things or events that, though pleasant, are entirely normal. Peeping chicks at Easter time, spring generally, a clear sunrise after an overcast week - a miracle, people say, as if they've been educated from greeting cards. I'm sorry, but nope. Such things are worth our notice every day of the week, but to call them miracles evaporates the strength of the word.... Real miracles bother people, like strange sudden pains unknown in medical literature....A miracle contradicts the will of earth....My sister, Swede.....offered this: People fear miracles because they fear being changed - though ignoring them will change you also."

It's nice to know that in our tumultuous world, there are still people who believe in real miracles.

Oh, and definitely add this book to your Must-Read List.

Sunday Shakes

This is what every Sunday evening should have:

A nice homemade raspberry shake. With raspberries picked by your very own hand. And low-fat French Vanilla ice cream, with little vanilla bean flecks in it. Tell me, who in this world doesn't love vanilla bean flecks in their ice cream? Anyone? Yeah, that's what I thought. Sundays are are sort of guilt-free days for me, and so I enjoyed every last bit of this shake. I especially enjoyed the raspberry seeds, which just so happen to be the best part about raspberry shakes. I love to catch them with my teeth (as opposed to IN my teeth...) and bite down on them, one by one. They have a little bit of tartness to them, and I love it.

Sundays should also have a lot of this: cute hubbies lying around. Lounging. Not working, not thinking about work. Well, hopefully. It doesn't look like he is, does it? Actually, I had to tell him something funny (read: I'm not going to tell you what I said) for that smile. He has this forced smile for pictures that's hilarious, a little cute, but soooo not real.

And for good measure, since he's around anyway.......

Sundays should also contain your mutt doing this: not moving. Without his ball in his mouth, shoving it in your crotch. Laying down. Not getting in the trash. Or in the brownie mix. No yucky Fishbutt (that's another post entirely...). You see that scraggly ear hair? That means it's time for another Shaving of the Mutt. I've been bracing myself all weekend for it...
Happy Sunday everyone! Hope yours was nice and relaxin'...

Because we are SO exciting....

We stayed up last night until long past 4 am. Maybe it was the 3 Cokes at dinner, maybe it was the good conversation. Either way I haven't done that since, oh, high school - staying up late to talk about boys and what college and freedom would be like. Needless to say, we didn't get an early start to the day.

We were finally ready to do something around 2. We decided to go out to lunch, and I chose Flames Coffee Shop & Bakery. Most of them are little more than glorified California-style Denny's, but the one I wanted to try was a fun looking one across from a fancy mall nearby. The cold has finally let up here in Cali, and so we enjoyed a balmy (well, compared to lately...) stroll from the car to the restaurant SANS COATS. YEEHAW, AND HALLELUJAH. I love this particular one because it's so dated. It looks like it was built in the 50's and it probably was. The fake palm trees and burnt-orange painted rocks inside the place is EXACTLY what I would imagine a California diner to look like. The food is nothing to rave about, it's the ambiance that keeps the regulars coming.

See how much we love it?! Alright, but it was fun anyway.

We decided to hit the matinee showing of "Pursuit of Happyness"*, but before it started we headed to the Border's at the mall to kill some time. This is the kind of mall however, that we get to look but not touch. :) We saw a Bentley parked just a few feet down from our little Toyota Corolla, if that gives you any indication.

A rich-person's mecca. See the Bentley in the corner down there? Uh huh...

And the movie? LOVED it. Why can't they make more of those? Nice feel-good movies without any sex or violence or whatever. True story, super inspirational, I highly recommend it. Oh, and bring the Kleenex. It's one of THOSE.

And my last little tidbit of the night. I went to the grocery store to grab a few things for dinner tomorrow. I was waltzing down the isle behind two ladies. Fancy-dressed up black ladies. I was only a few steps behind them, they HAD to know I was there. One of them scurried over to the bulk-candy section, opened up the lid for the gummy bears and popped a few in her mouth, walked away. As I stood there AGHAST. OHMIGOSH. She just STOLE 3 gummy bears! That's like, 2 cents! Never in my life.......the guilt would kill me. What is the world coming to, I ask you!

Anyone bored yet? Tomorrow I'll give you a play-by-play of what we ate for lunch......that should spice things up a bit. Hehehe.....

*this spelling error IS addressed in the movie, just in case any of you were losing sleep...

Making a List....

Things I Accomplished Today:

1. Got up. Before 9 am. (Yeah! Good for you!)

2. Did a few toning exercises (today is a no-run day...)

3. Got ready!

4. Interview!

5. Tv! (after of course, getting quickly back into my pajamas...)

6. Bubble bath. Started new book, munched on Corn Chex. In the bath.

7. Nap. 2 hours. Out cold.

8. Dinner. Which I did not cook. We ate out.

9. ............................................................ (that would be called "flat-lining")

Because No One Knows My Name

Yesterday I decided to take my own advice. (Thank you, Self!) I took a slight detour after running errands. Which translates to picking up soap and cereal at Target. Right. Well, "running errands" sounded so much more sophisticated...and important...

Anyway, I took a right after leaving Target and kept going. Until I drove right though San Jose, and then right past it. Pretty much until the buildings stopped being interesting and I started to duck a little in my car. Cause you never know what crazies are in the outskirts of a city. So? I turned around and parked my car. Paid $1.00 for it too. I wandered around a park, and then decided to check out the museums in the area. I felt too weird to go through them by myself, like, should I really be enjoying myself? Am I allowed to do that? Shouldn't I be looking for a job at every passing moment? Or, at the very least, cleaning or doing laundry or SOMETHING?! So I spent an hour in the gift shops. Which, really, was a lot of fun. Besides, I felt a little better because in the Art Museum's gift shop, I pondered, for a just a minute, about how much fun it would be to work there. And then I decided that the pay probably wouldn't be more than oh, $10 / hr and that is just SO not in the budget. Mission accomplished. One less place on my list! Ha! Take that Guilty Self!

I also dug our duct-taped camera out of the glove box and snapped a few. Again, PhotoShop. I WILL learn myself on that thing. Someday.

Ah, the park. So lovely. A little cold, but lovely nonetheless. Remind me to come back when the fountains are on.

And see? Lovely park benches. Under the lovely canopy of the brightly-lit not covered in rain or snow, trees.

Someday, I will sit on one of THESE benches. With a newspaper. And a piping hot cocoa. And maybe some fancy I-don't-need-them-but-they-look-great-on-me glasses. And I won't glance up when people pass by because that's so ORDINARY. I see people pass by me EVERY DAY as I sit on this park bench. Yup, that's right. Keep walkin' newbie.

So after my wandering I decided to head back to my car. Well, alright, I was deathly afraid of getting a parking ticket because OHMIGOSH they might find out I haven't got my California driver's license yet. Phew. That was a close one.

But I didn't quite feel like going home yet. So I sat in my car listening to Christina Aguilera and Augustana and pondering The Universe.

And after about, oh, 10 minutes, I started bothering myself, what with all my freaky thoughts and unanswered questions, (this is where it gets scary folks) and started just randomly shooting.

There are a few more, but um, I couldn't possibly post them. Too weird. Let's just say, I tried to get all artsy thinking about what I COULD do, when I learn me some PhotoShop.

And...I still can't decide if this was better than watching the latest movie on Lifetime in my pajamas...

Because petting the dog was out of the question...

American Idol. America's favorite past time......

7:56 - Gettin' ready....so ready...preparing my ears for the horror which they are about to hear.....

7:59 - Caleb has to explain what that Honda commercial was all about. How am I supposed to know that car values "deflate"?! Gees....

8:00 - Ryan Seacrest drives me nuts. And I am once again reminded that I could be dealing with a LOT of rain. But I'm not. Ha! Cause I now live in Cali! Ha!

8:02 - Woah Uncle Sam! I remember this guy from last year (oh wow, that sounds so lame...) he tried to rock it with Paula. He got shot down.

8:03 - And he does just now.

8:04 - "The Hotness"?! Holy lips girl. It looks like she taped two Lil' Smokies to her face. At this rate, I'll be postin' ever minute. "I'm gonna go in there and deliver the hotness..." Mmmhhmmm....that's right, you're a Mariah Carey.

8:13 - I love when they tell the sob stories. Look, if your HUSBAND tells you you're probably wastin' your time, well, maybe you should listen. But! My six year old says I'm good!

8:17 - What?! Did he just scream "DIE DIE DIE"?! EEE!!!

8:24 - Commerical. Quick deviation....ever heard of "Beauty and the Geek"? We just turned to it. And I swear to you, that kid just said he was trying deodorant for the FIRST TIME EVER. Seriously. He had to ask someone else how to put it on. I thought geeks were smart!

8:28 - Help! Quick! The screen went black!

8:37 - "I'm Fluffy." That's one I'll have to remember. I'm not fat, I'm Fluffy.

8:47 - Oh it's so sad......so very sad....

8:55 - Shoot. I didn't get that commercial either. Can someone tell me what peripherals are on your computer?

9:00 - Oh dude. Not representing the Salt Lake area very well. Excuse me, you live IN Salt Lake City. Oh........................yikes.

9:04 - Ohmigosh! They're letting him continue! He's still singing! Please! Someone! Put him out of his misery! Or rather, our misery. He seems to be enjoying himself.

9:08 - I love Journey. Have I mentioned that? I am a closet Journey fan. My heart melts every time I hear "Don't Stop Believing". I should download that song...

9:19 - No. He didn't. I can't believe Simon just voiced my thoughts! It's like he's in my mind! That kid TOTALLY looks like a monkey!!!!!!!

9:22 - Still laughing about that monkey thing...poor kid's gonna have a complex...

9:33 - BIG momma. She should try modeling. Cause I think you're pretty much a shoe-in at that height.

9:34 - Wait, tall girl made it?! She was horrible! I think they were just scared of her. She could probably have taken them all...

9:38 - Lol. I love that commercial for TaxCut. I crack up every time. "What's it saying?" (Long pause) "Mmmmmmmm......nothin'. It's a box." Lol. Hilarious.

9:48 - Ah, the medley. The horrifyingly horrible medley. But it's what keeps us coming back, isn't it?

10:00 - Too....much....American Idol.....must fill my time with something more meaningful. Like blogging.

HA!

Ha ha.

Hmm....yup, just spent two hours watching American Idol. Pretty pathetic.

Totally Engrossed

I've spent the last two days absolutely and totally engrossed in another world. A world that I wouldn't normally find myself in, never mind loving it. A book. On Sunday my good friend gave me a book to read that she had loved, with just one stipulation - that I not read the back or the preface. Which I followed. Monday afternoon I sat down and read for HOURS, stopping only because my stomach wouldn't allow me to continue without anything in it. Or rather, my husband was dragging me to a restaurant to meet our friends. I spent the entire night thinking about reading it, despite having lots of great distractions. Like their adorable son. Or the premiere of "24". Or the Golden Globes. Or, ya know, sleep. I fought the urge to get up and sneak into the living room to read. I woke up this morning and um, since I have no job as of yet, I got ready. I got back into my pajamas. And I read until I finished the 512 page book. Granted, it's actually more a teen novel, but still. That's a lot of sentences. And now that I know there is a sequel (and possibly a third?!?) I have spent the night thinking about BUYING it. Or checking it out of the local library that I have yet to get a membership to. Anyway. Since it is a teen novel, I feel sort of silly loving it. I'm normally NOT a lover of the teen-book scene, have never read a single word of the Harry Potter books. In fact, had I read the back, or the preface, or knew anything about the book before I began, I highly doubt I would have read it. Psh! Lame! Scoff! I read ADULT books. With adult words. So thank you Bridge, for the warning. And thanks for the "wasted" afternoons, I loved every minute of them. Really. It's so nice to be engrossed like that, you know? Anyway, if ya'll are curious, and have a few hours you'd like to kill, check out "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer. I'm not going to link it because seriously, don't read the back. Don't read any reviews. Don't read the preface. Start with Chapter One and enjoy.

Next? I consider myself an average cook. I LOVE to do it, but I'm no Bobby Flay. I've been married and have been cooking for the both of us for nearly two years now, and we're not dead. The opposite in fact. We're thriving. Tonight though? Not my night. I decided to add a bit of flare to our usual at-least-twice-a-week-salmon, and smothered it in barbecue sauce before placing it under the broiler. And then? In under two minutes I ceremoniously lit my oven mitt on fire (the broiler can do that? Is that allowed??!!) and then cracked my Pyrex to pieces when I put it in the sink and turned on the faucet. (Science wasn't my strong point. I didn't listen very well. And I spent the time in chemistry washing my hands in the back until there was enough suds to make bubbles. Then my teacher came back and made some with me. Needless to say, that entire part of school was lost on me.) As Caleb and I stood staring at my Pyrex, tragically beautiful all shattered to pieces, he quipped "Well, look on the bright side. At least we don't have to clean it."

Tomorrow? Live blogging on American Idol: Seattle. If it's half as hilarious as tonight's was, we should be in for a great time.

And yes, you are witnessing my life right now. All neatly summed up in a few sentences. What's a girl gotta do for some excitement around here?!

(Note to self: Maybe you should try leaving the apartment? Exploring your new state? Or at least the city? While you've got some free time! Please!)

Time Travel

Tonight I slipped a spoonful of pineapple sherbet into my mouth and was immediately transported back to evenings spent at my grandma's house when I was little. Little enough to stick my legs, bruised and scarred from playing in the oak behind her house all day long, under the tiny stool in her kitchen. Little enough to be completely satiated by that single scoop of pineapple sherbet in the little slate - colored bowls. I would suck all the sherbet off the tiny pineapple pieces and then slowly chew the pineapple, savoring the sweet taste. It was my favorite thing in the world.

When my Dad was traveling, my grandma would pick me up from pre-school and make me open-face cheese sandwiches. She'd place it on my little plate and then make silly, sad, or smiley faces with ketchup. I remember watching in delight and fingering a little plastic turtle. Later when my mom would come to pick me up, I'd get to sit under that stool while they chatted for a few minutes, and eat an ENTIRE SCOOP of that sherbet.

It's odd how something as small as sherbet can evoke such memories. Odd that I used to like ketchup on my cheese sandwiches......

Lock Up Them Frogs

It's time for another science piece, isn't it? I mean, what with all the stuff going on right now we all need a little break right? So I started digging, and really didn't need to go very far. The title screamed "PICK ON ME!" in large neon letters......

"Japan Calls Frog Emergency Over Fungus"

Hold on everyone, please, we need your cooperation. This is a Frog Emergency. If you'll all please exit the building in single file, no one will get hurt. I repeat, this is a Frog Emergency.

Seriously.

Apparently there have been as many as FIVE FROG DEATHS. FIVE. Like, one - two - three - four - FIVE. The World Wide Fund for Nature has officially declared a state of emergency. For real. This fungus will kill the frogs if they are exposed, and people are urged to watch their amphibious friends more closely. The chances of it killing humans is.........zero. Nada. Zilch. Negative chance. Harmless to humans.

BUT!

Big state of emergency. If we aren't careful, as many as TEN FROGS could be dead by morning. So bring in your froggies, allow them to share your soft pillow if you have to, this is about Life and Death! If we're not careful, this could spread to.........(cue the dramatic music...) the GOLDFISH population!!!


Next article? Humans Migrated From Africa "Recently" (as recent as 50,000 years!)


*the author of this blog means no harm to the squirmy, slimy, but oh-so fabulous little buggars, and is only poking fun at those who have made them their single purpose for living. I love frogs. Go frogs.

At My Expense

I was all set to post some fabulous self-exposing piece. And then? I remembered that I'd been up for over 16 hours and am currently hyped up on Diet Coke. Caffeine. I never drink caffeine. But tonight I totally decided I NEEDED a Diet Coke. So in between jitters, I'll post some super embarrassing photos of myself. Sound good? Great.

Exhibit #1 - 1st grade. Mom decides to try out BANGS. Cuts one slanted side, and then gives up. And yes, that's a side pony tail with a hot pink ribbon.

Exhibit #2 - I don't know how old. Not old enough to know that one should never wear shirts with puffy glue and glitter in geometric shapes. Mom is still experimenting with the bangs, desperately trying to get them to do that fabulous Utah Bang thing. Ain't happenin'. They're pretty much lookin' like a squirrel sittin' atop my forehead.

Exhibit #3 - Younger, bringing our new baby sister home. I'm the one on the right. The one who's bangs you can see hanging about, oh, 3 inches from my head. And you can't see it really, but uh, what happened to my chin? It was like, Reese Witherspoon style. I had an apple face. Where did that go? Those are black biker shorts.

Exhibit #4 - Older, and LOVIN' the new fancy dress. I'm sure this is Easter Sunday, because no other occasion could warrant such an insane amount of lace. I remember loving the bow, the dress, and oh, the fancy lacy tights!! I was a WOMAN. Wearing TIGHTS. With velvet shoes? Sure, why not. But this dress? This is the kind of dress that just SCREAMS my ascent into womanhood.

Exhibit #5 - Now THIS is maturity. Last day of 4th grade. I'd gone to a different school this year to join "Satelite School". Fancy name for a smart class. I'd enjoyed it, this is 4 of the 20 girls in the class. 5 boys. I'll let you chew on that........ that would be me, second from the left. Doing "bunny-ears" to my friend Erika and........to myself? With lovely I-didn't-do-it-on-purpose wavy hair, and watermelon. Most likely with some puffy glue.....Still didn't learn.

Exhibit #6 - Final shot. Younger. Definitely younger. Definitely rockin' the "bat wings", as my sister and I now lovingly call the hair tragedy before you. That's me, on the right. We're in our most favorite pajamas, these silky dresses that came with a see-through lace robe thing to wear over it. We'd run around the house and yard holding them out in the wind pretending to be princesses or fairies or something. But that hair? That hair pretty much sums up my childhood.

Friday Night Meme

So in trying to come up with something to post tonight...I came up with nothing. That MIGHT be because I spent most of the day reading my new Glamour magazine, and channel surfing. Not exactly inspiring right? Unless you're trying to come up with a new hair style, or a different nail polish. Which I did find bytheway, and intend to get me some. 10 days of no chipping!? That's ludicrous!

Anyway.

I looked up a meme. Which is pronounced like "theme". In case you didn't know. Cause I sure didn't....anyway, I thought it would be fun. A Friday Meme! Honestly, what could be more exciting?!

1. First kiss? Is this the first kiss we COUNT, or first period? Let's go with the one that counts, cause uh, a forced peck from a gangly red-headed kindergartner in the oak, isn't exactly what I'd like to go with. So, first kiss? French. Under the covers at a party. I believe Tommy Boy was playing in the back round? HIGHLY romantic. :) I can't lie though, I was pretty excited about it.

2. Underwater swimming or skydiving? SWIMMING. Though I'd love to be adventurous, the thought of plummeting to my death just isn't doin' it for me. Caleb went skydiving once, when I flew to Australia. Let's not go into the particulars of how ironic that was....

3. Careful as you cross the street or never look both ways? Very careful! I'm a seat belt kinda girl too.

4. Ketchup: a vegetable? Nope! A tomato is SUCH a fruit, plus, I don't think you can count processed foods as veggies.

5. Underwear - optional? Only on certain occasions......like when I'm not in public. Sorry Brittney, gotta go with the underwear people on this.

6. How much TV do you watch? Admittedly, too much. Much too much.

7. What type of show is your favorite? Funny ones. Shows that suck me in. Or, just one with a hot guy. That'll bring me in for a while at least.

8. Which talk show host do you hate? Regis & Kelly. Only because I think they're weird together...

9. Are you looking forward to any new season premieres? Um........yeah. Yup.

10. Which show is your guilty pleasure? American Idol. So You Think You Can Dance. America's Next Top Model. The Office. Scrubs. I'll stop now.

11. Are you complicated? I don't want to be, but I probably am.

12. Do you retaliate? Not usually. My typical response is to get upset, fume, internalize and explode later.

13. Last person to hug you? Cabe!

14. Your latest complaint: To Caleb, for throwing the dogs ball ONCE AGAIN into the kitchen, where the dog is not allowed. And he knows it.

15. Who was the bully on your playground? Mmm......always someone different. Usually a um, LARGER kid. With dark curly hair. Or this one guy, who once sorta dated my friend. He didn't like me so much, and I always put up a fight.

Recipe #3 - Broiled Salmon Fillets w/ Dill Butter

This is a new recipe that my HUSBAND (who is wonderful bytheway) prepared for me tonight. All by himself. Start to finish. And it was DELICIOUS. And I know, it's salmon again, but bare with me. The stuff is wonderful for you. I promise. And with all these flavors? You won't be able to tell you're eating something with scales.

Broiled Salmon Fillets w/ Dill Butter

3 T vegetable oil

1/4 tsp dried tarragon, crumbled

1 T dry white wine

1/4 tsp salt

1 T fresh lemon juice

Pepper to taste

1/4 c. fresh parsley

4 salmon fillets

Dill Butter (recipe to follow)

In a small bowl stir together the first 7 ingredients. Place salmon in a shallow platter & pour over marinade. Marinate for 30 minutes in the fridge. Preheat broiler. Remove salmon from marinade and place on the broiler pan, reserving marinade. Place under broiler 4-5 inches from heat and broil for 4-5 minutes. Turn fish over, brush with marinade and broil another 4 - 5 minutes. Transfer to a warmed platter and serve immediately with dill butter.

Dill Butter

1/4 c. butter, softened

1 tsp fresh lemon juice

1 tsp grated lemon zest

1 tsp Dijon mustard

1 1/2 tsp fresh dill, or 1/2 tsp dried

In a small bowl, combine all ingredients. Blend together with a fork. Place a small pat over salmon and serve.

*My notes: SUPER easy, and it was really delicious. Have I mentioned that yet? It was. Let's see, we only used 2 salmon fillets (obviously), and only really needed to halve the dill butter. We also didn't have tarragon, so he crushed up fennel and it worked perfect. Oh, and I use cooking wine, which always works. Just in case you don't drink wine (like us) or don't feel like running to the store. The dill butter won't be syrupy at all (I imagined it being a sauce at first...but no), so just put a small pat on the salmon and give it a good swish to coat. We had some corn on the cob with it, and Caleb also used the dill butter for his corn and loved it. Universal dill butter people! I promise, you'll love it!

Oh, and next time? I swear I'll post one about a DIFFERENT meat. Promise.

Even Numbers

While I was at home for Christmas I received a little revelation about myself. An explanation. An "Ohmigosh, maybe I'm NOT completely insane...." moment.

I was sitting on the couch, my Dad laying on the other. Everyone had just left, and we were both sitting there quietly. Me, thinking about how GREAT it was to be home, and my Dad...well...probably wishing for a nap. I started watching my Dad's feet move, something I've done my entire life without thinking twice about it. Ever since I can remember, if he's sitting, he's constantly moving his feet. Like he's trying to direct a symphony with them. There's an order to it, sometimes they're tapping, sometimes they're swooping around. We've always teased him about it, but this time was different. For some reason, I asked him why he was doing that. He stopped, paused, and then said "I don't know." Typical, right? But I continued -

"Because I do that all the time. But I'm doing it for a reason. I'm counting stuff. I just counted all the cupboards in the kitchen. There's 28. I did it in the old house too, there's 36. I'll count lights in the room. Stairs. Cushions. Road signs. The little yellow dotted lines on the road. The features on people's faces. Anything really - but always in two's. You know, like, two eyebrows, two eyes, two nostrils, two cheeks, two ears, two lips, two rows of teeth."

................Long pause. I start to wonder why in the WORLD I just said that out loud.

"Really?"

"Yeah." Wait, was that...intrigue in his voice?

"Because I've done that my whole life."

.......wha?

He continues, "Yeah. I actually saw something on tv once about it. It's a small form of OCD."

"Really?!" Ohmigosh, IT'S TRUE!!!!!!! I DO have OCD!!!!!

We continued talking about it for a bit. It was the first time in my entire life I've told ANYONE about it. I didn't even tell Caleb until days later on the way home, and he knows pretty much everything about me. I don't know why, I'm not ashamed of it, just never really thought anything about it. Sometimes it bothers me, because once I start, I hate to stop. I have to FORCE myself to stop. I'll do it when I'm having a conversation with someone. Especially the face one. It doesn't happen all the time, but pretty frequently. And I like things to be even. I like to start on the left foot and end on the right. Taping down, left foot then right, and counting in my head "Two, four, six, eight..." Sometimes I'll start with the right foot just to END on it, because if things aren't even, at least I ended on the right. That makes me feel better about them being odd.

So I decided to start searching the internet about it, and realized I do some other things as well. Making sure both feet step in the same square on the sidewalk, making sure my foot lands on the emblem of the treadmill I'm running on, to name a few. Thankfully none of them negatively affect my life. It's just sorta weird to know that after all these years of joking about it? It's actually TRUE!

"THERE ARE DOZENS OF US!!!" Little quote from Tobias there.....had to.

And......now you all know my dark dark secret. :) I'm a freak. But hey! At least I now know there's a reason. For me being a freak I mean. Instead of, ya know, because I'm just a freak.

Random Blurbs...

First, a shout out to this wonderful blogger, Beautiful Beta, who helped me with my new layout, getting it all centered and spaced correctly. Thank you!!! Now if I can just come up with some fancy blog name and maybe a header or two.......

Next? Let's talk about how yesterday I spent from 3 pm - 11 pm on the couch, near death. Well, near puking. While some little elf scooped my uterus out with a spoon. That's what it felt like at least, I can't verify there was an actual elf. Hence? No post.

Now let's talk about how our mutt Bear has suddenly developed a love for baseball. Our apartment happens to face the nearby university's baseball field, and we can see it from our window. He'll stand there at our third story window watching the tiny little baseball players practice for their upcoming season for hours. Maybe we'll have to start buying dog jerseys and taking him to games if he cleans up his toys.

Have I mentioned that The Cable Police finally came and took away our tv? We got home from our Christmas vacation and sat down exhausted, to enjoy a little mindless entertainment. And? Snow. Static. Scary "The Ring" white noise. So we immediately set about trying to connect ourselves back to the entertainment world, and unfortunately, couldn't get it until today. An entire WEEK later. WHAT WERE WE TO DO!??!?! TALK?! BAH! We did. We also spent a lot of time on the internet, READING about the tv. And feeling a little pathetic. I did at least. I did break out the old "Lois & Clark" Season 1 dvd's, and relived my pre-teen crush on someone old enough to be my father. And ya know? I still think he's hot. There's no denying it, and I might as well come out and say it. He was one hot man. Haven't seen a pic of him lately..maybe he still is? We've also re-watched nearly every episode of "Arrested Development", all 3 seasons, and still can't get enough of it. Ya think if I request that they bring back that show, that it will actually happen? Sorta like the Bath & Bodyworks lotion? Maybe?! Anyway....a lovely man came today and hooked up our little umbilical cord to the outside world, thus ending that whole "talking" thing. :) Now we can talk about things that matter, like if Elliott and JD from "Scrubs" should get back together, or why in the world Flavor Flav hasn't croaked yet? Anyway, I'm lovin' the OnDemand. And digital music stations. And stuff.

While I'm eeking out little bits of nothing, has anyone seen this? I think they're trying to rule the world. Sucking us all in, one fancy designed product at a time. They've certainly hooked Cabe.

One last odd tidbit for the night. Have any of you heard of DHC? The skincare stuff? I once got some free samples of their Olive Essentials kit, and WOW. I have SERIOUSLY been considering purchasing the entire $75 kit ever since. My skin felt AMAZING. Clean and SUPER soft. Wouldn't irritate a fly. You can request their catalog with free samples, costs $2. Don't ask me how I got my free one, I have no idea, and have been trying to figure out ever since. Wrong address maybe? Woops! Sure enjoyed your $2 sample Ma'am! Or maybe they just felt generous? Either way, I still have dreams about the stuff...go check it out. You won't be sorry.

Me = Novice

I was all set to post something FABULOUS today. Some mind-blowing I Have Discovered Something About Myself post. Then.......I started fooling around with the new Beta stuff, and changing my blog....then adding another sidebar....and now? Just LOOK at it! The pics aren't centered, and the new right side bar is like sooooooooooo too far to the left, and people? I am a NOVICE at this stuff. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just adding stuff here, changing the numbers there....and praying it will work. Apparently that can only get you so far. So now I'm going to bed, leaving my blog all screwed up and it will eat at me. All.Night.Long.

Maybe in the morning I will be hit with revelation. Or maybe someone will save me. Or maybe it will just fix itself.

Sorta bettin' on none of those right now......

Saturday is a Special Day....

Just ah, squeezin' in an entry........

ATTENTION! ATTENTION EVERYONE!!!!!!!!! I would just like to say that my request from several months ago (way too tired to go find the post and link it here...just know I begged...) has been fulfilled! As Caleb and I were strolling along in the nearby mall (note to self: never go to the mall on a Saturday....ever...) I happened to notice that half of the city was in Bath & Bodyworks. Big sale or something. And I casually mentioned to Cabe that um, maybe just maybe they might have released my favorite lotion of all time out of their slimy little discontinued fingers. And? AND? Yeah. They did. Everywhere I looked, Rice Flower & Shea!!!! My little eyes went all bug-eyed, and quickly grabbed a bunch and scurried the two feet to where the humongous line had snaked itself to the front of the store. Thankfully I recovered and let a few of them go so as not to break the bank, but yeah. I'm stocked up. And ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................I can still smell it. Sweet Rice Flower & Shea......how I love thee. I pine for thee. I lovingly slather you all over my wanting arms.

Ahem.

But seriously guys, it's back. For now. On sale. Go get some before they snatch it back. Tell all your friends.

And also? While I'm on the topic..........(or not, there's no proper way to introduce this...) "Darkon". That's all I'm going to say. Go google it. Watch it on AOL Video or whatever. It's....breathtaking? Mind-boggling? Absolutely and utterly insane? Maybe all of them. Oh, and pretty freakin' hilarious. That one for sure.

And that would pretty much sum up my Saturday. Exhilarating, right? Yup. That's me.

Things Seen on Craigslist While Job-Hunting....

1. Outie-Bellybutton Models - If you have an outie, please read!

2. Need Young Fit and Energetic Guy to wear a cactus costume at MacWorld

3. 23 Year Old Rap Female Looking for a Producer (and her request, as it's just too good to pass up)
HI IM A 23 YEAR OLD FEMALE LOOKING FOR A PRODUCER WHO IS INTRESTED IN A SERIOUS RAPPER, IM NOT A BAY RAPPER, I RAP FOR EVERYONE NOT JUST MY CITY IM FROM SF, IVE BEEN SLACKING OFF LATELY BUT IM READY TO GET BACK TO BUISSNESS IM LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS PRODUCER TO TRY TO HELP ME GET OUT THERE MORE I HAVE BEATS TO RECORD OFF OF, I HAVE RAPS I HAVE WRITIN, I WRITE MY OWN RAPS IM BAICALLY READY TO GET IN THE STUDIO AND RECORD IM REALLY TRYING TO GET OUT THERE IM PLANING ON GOING SOMEWHERE WITH RAP SO IF YOU CAN HELP ME AND IF YOUR A SERIOUS PRODUCER PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL AT XXXXXXXXX THATS MY CELL PHONE YOU CAN REACH ME ANYTIME GET AT ME,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I DONT HAVE MUSIC ON MY SPACE YOUR BETS BET IS TO CALL ME AND LET ME SPIT OVER THE PHONE OR SEE ME IN PERSON, I CANT GET TO MY EMAIL FAST ENOUGH SO CALL ME THANK YOU

ahem.

4. Need a phpnuke and MySQL Guru
I need a to transfer my data from one hosting to another , plus customize my web and remove all bugs. I did all by myself, but I not have enough knowledge, maybe you can serve that web on permanent bases?

Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

5. Indie Zombie Movie Needs Someone with Creature Effects Exper.
We are a group of semi-professionals and university students with a sizeable budget (for indie standards) who are filming a Zombie movie in the Santa Cruz area. We are in need of a professional with creature effects experience, particularly someone with experience in making casts of fake heads, blood effects, makeup, and gun shot wounds. Filming begins in late January and will last for several weeks. This is a paying gig but also a great way to boost your resume.

Oh! Me! Me!

6. Help Me With My Singing
Hey! I would like someone to help me to tune my singing voice enough to do karaoke next month for a party. I think I am OK and I am clearly untrained. I would like someone to help me with a couple private lessons over the next couple weeks. Can also meet people in the city of SF in the mornings.

That must be some SERIOUS karaoke...

7. Take This Mattress To the Dump
I have a queen sized mattress and it needs to go to the dump

Okay. Sounds like a personal problem....

8. DOES YOUR MOTHER PARTY TOO MUCH? WISH SHE WOULD SETTLE DOWN?
Does your mother act more like your sister? Do you wish she would tone it down a bit? Are you fed up lending her you mini skirt? Send us an email with a photo and contact number asap.

9. what city does this carla girl live in
is it for cleaning homes, offices, and sites
Compensation: 2 low to tell

Uh....what? I'm so confused...

10. Cage cleaning, etc.
Help clean cages, litter boxes and floors, and give fresh water and food, at private cat rescue house. Weekends, weekdays, several mornings a week (later on weekends), 2-3 hours at a time, possibly. Must love animals to do this job, because it isn't pretty.

No....no....I suspect it wouldn't be....Does ANYONE love cats that much?!?!


Well......guess I'll keep lookin'........

Cabin Sweet Cabin

While we were enjoying our family in Utah Caleb and I decided to take a trip up to his cabin which is just outside of Evanston, WY. It's a beautiful full-log cabin on a few acres with direct access to...some river. They've got a few ponds, an extra bunkhouse and a large grass area to enjoy picnics, or to play frisbee. It's a special place for Cabe who spent many a summer's weekend up there working on the property and fixing up the house, as well as the frequent family trips. Every once in a while he'll talk about the summers spent fly fishing, four-wheeling, exploring and wading in the river with nothing on but shorts and shoes. Or the many times his older brother shot him with a bb gun or something. I don't quite get that part, but I DO come from an all-girl family. So....that might have something to do with it. I spent several days up there as well while we were dating, though never overnight. :) It also happens to be special to the both of us as well, as it was the location of our first "date" (does the Homecomming dance's day activity count? Sure!) and also the place where he asked me to marry him (on Christmas Eve, because that's the way he rolls). Caleb's parents are selling the place, so we decided we'd better head up there one last time. With the mutt of course. And his mother's dog, who we were watching. Quite a trip in the car, let me tell you.

Here they are, and none too happy. Especially Bear, who didn't enjoy sharing his bed....

On the way to the cabin...

It was a little slow going in Wyoming, they got the snow drifts goin' on ya know. But we did it, and enjoyed a lovely steak and potatoes dinner (cause I guess that's what you eat at the cabin) and then sat by a nice fire and watched the new Superman movie. (Pleasantly surprised, bytheway.) Oh, and I may or may not have enjoyed a lovely bubble bath in the tub.....or a hot shower in the steam shower....

Caleb woke up early to plow all the snow, and I slept in. Until 10. Only getting up after Cabe's SECOND attempt to wake me up. And I may have stayed there if I had known that in no less than 2.5 seconds after rolling out of bed that I'd be sitting on a tractor. In 19 degree weather.

He looks a little more natural on it. His smile wasn't forced. :)

So after the tractor-driving-lessons, I scurried back inside and spent the morning drinking hot chocolate and watching satelite tv with no less than 3,000 channels. Because it is very important to not miss a single episode of 30-Minute Meals or an E-True Hollywood Story.

So long sweet cabin! Ye shall be missed.

Chop Chop!

I did it. I chopped my hair. And while I wasn't able to hit up my good friend Dayvid, I did hit up the same girl who did my hair for my bridal pictures and wedding. And I think if I trusted her to do that, I could definitely trust her for this. :) I finally decided how I wanted my hair done, oh, just a few hours short of the appointment. I printed off some pics from the internet, and promptly left them in my sister's car. Who drove off to run some errands. THANKFULLY she watches "Scrubs", or I definitely would have walked out of there with some crazed mixed-up elf do or something.

But before we get to the results, we must first look at the before's. The hideodorous (hid-E-odorous - my word, thank you) do I was sporting before. I didn't even straighten it, because uh, I was just gonna get it CHOPPED OFF.

That would be the dog in the backround, slunking off because he's positively FREAKED OUT from all the cheesy posing.

And here we see him again, pleading with me to PUH-LEASE stop, someone might actually SEE this!

You can plainly see that this mane of hair has GOT to go. The hours of time I've spent blowing it dry and then straightening it could SO have been better spent watching Ellen or sorting the items in my medicine cabinet into alphabetical order.

Side view of new hair. Sorta in the dreaded in-between stage, not quite sure why I wanted that, but hey. Do you see what can happen when they thin your hair out?!?! I LOVE it. After she chopped off most of it, she started to thin it out. And let me tell you, it was ridiculous. It looked like a Furbie had puked. EVERYWHERE. But it does wonders.

And the back view. Because you all REALLY REALLY care.

For some reason when I style it, it looks different than this. I think I like it better though. And I get all giddy inside when I think of how much money I'll save not having to use a half a cup of shampoo anymore. Maybe we can save all that money and buy a camera that doesn't require duct-tape?

AND? She told me I had enough hair to be able to donate it to Locks of Love. And while I silently questioned why ANYONE would want my hair when I clearly didn't, I kept that inside and said SURE! LOVE TO. Cross it off my Good Deeds list for the day.

Note to the woman who gets my hair: Invest in a gallon size jar of the Frizz-Ease stuff. Trust me girl.

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men

It's been a while, hasn't it? An entire week! It's been quite a while since I've neglected my little blog for this long. I suppose we've just been so busy enjoying family and friends, that by the time we get settled down and into bed, it's late and we're half-comatose. We've taken some fun pictures, but I'll have to post those when we return home. Which is tomorrow. It always goes so quickly.

We spent the entire week driving from my parents place to his and back, and I think by now we could have driven back to California. Maybe even come half way back. We tried to split it up fairly, and I think we succeeded for the most part. If you count the two hour car ride there and back. :)

Christmas was more than fabulous, we were spoiled again as always. My little sister Emily gave our dog a present and wrapped it. We put it on the floor and Caleb started opening it, and that's all the encouragement Bear needed - he ripped that wrapping paper, using one paw to hold down the box! It was pretty classic. He's been holding them in his mouth ever since....

I swear we spent the majority of our time shopping, which I am still trying to understand. The Saturday before Christmas we spent dodging the crazed pre-holiday shoppers, and the days after were spent returning things, shopping for more, using gift cards, returning, shopping, returning, shopping. Literally. In that order.

Have I mentioned the eating? The massive amount of food at every get together? The leftovers that are now struggling for space in our fridge? My uncle, who spent two years in Italy on a mission for our church, came over one evening and made enough authentic Italian food to feed all of Utah. And that's saying a lot. It was absolutely fabulous though. Enough to make me wish that just for a minute I had the seven stomach's of a cow. And the metabolism of a mongoose. I think that it is absolutely impossible to go home after being here a week and NOT gain like, 10 lbs. It's a good thing that Excel is here (the Most Fabulous Gym in the World), or that literally would be the case.

We've had several get-togethers with our friends, my favorite (so far....) being the one I had with all my girlfriends in my old neighborhood. We've started this little tradition of getting together at Christmas, and it's been a fun way to catch up besides the little group emails we occasionally send each other. We spend hours eating good food and reminiscing. And laughing. A lot. This time, because someone had found an old tape that my friend had compiled of recordings we'd made in like, second grade. Which really should be BURNED. Until it's nothing but ashes. Because really? I could live the rest of my life in peace knowing that no one else would ever have to endure the solo's and burping phrases and giggling like banshees. At least when I was doing it. :) Super hilarious when it was someone else.... This year we added two new little babies, it will be interested to see what else will change. :) Can't wait for next year girls!

And now it's 2007. A new year, new possibilities, room for change. Questions - like, should I make a resolution to work out every day? Do I even need to?! I swear, every time I come home I'm reminded "oh-so-gently" that I've gained some weight since my wedding. Yes, thank you, I AM AWARE. It's always followed by "Yes, but you didn't EAT before..." which totally doesn't count. So thank you.....the paranoia has fully set in.

I always like to think back at what was going on this time last year, and think of all the changes that have happened. Last night at my family party we all listed the things that have changed in our extended family. Babies, marriages, moves, new business etc. A lot happens in a year! Had someone told me last year that by the end of the year we'd be living in California, I would have laughed, silently hoped for it, but shrugged it off. :) This next year is going to be an exciting one, and quite frankly? I'm excited. :)

So Happy New Year everyone! I hope this year brings you health and happiness.