At My Expense

I was all set to post some fabulous self-exposing piece. And then? I remembered that I'd been up for over 16 hours and am currently hyped up on Diet Coke. Caffeine. I never drink caffeine. But tonight I totally decided I NEEDED a Diet Coke. So in between jitters, I'll post some super embarrassing photos of myself. Sound good? Great.

Exhibit #1 - 1st grade. Mom decides to try out BANGS. Cuts one slanted side, and then gives up. And yes, that's a side pony tail with a hot pink ribbon.

Exhibit #2 - I don't know how old. Not old enough to know that one should never wear shirts with puffy glue and glitter in geometric shapes. Mom is still experimenting with the bangs, desperately trying to get them to do that fabulous Utah Bang thing. Ain't happenin'. They're pretty much lookin' like a squirrel sittin' atop my forehead.

Exhibit #3 - Younger, bringing our new baby sister home. I'm the one on the right. The one who's bangs you can see hanging about, oh, 3 inches from my head. And you can't see it really, but uh, what happened to my chin? It was like, Reese Witherspoon style. I had an apple face. Where did that go? Those are black biker shorts.

Exhibit #4 - Older, and LOVIN' the new fancy dress. I'm sure this is Easter Sunday, because no other occasion could warrant such an insane amount of lace. I remember loving the bow, the dress, and oh, the fancy lacy tights!! I was a WOMAN. Wearing TIGHTS. With velvet shoes? Sure, why not. But this dress? This is the kind of dress that just SCREAMS my ascent into womanhood.

Exhibit #5 - Now THIS is maturity. Last day of 4th grade. I'd gone to a different school this year to join "Satelite School". Fancy name for a smart class. I'd enjoyed it, this is 4 of the 20 girls in the class. 5 boys. I'll let you chew on that........ that would be me, second from the left. Doing "bunny-ears" to my friend Erika and........to myself? With lovely I-didn't-do-it-on-purpose wavy hair, and watermelon. Most likely with some puffy glue.....Still didn't learn.

Exhibit #6 - Final shot. Younger. Definitely younger. Definitely rockin' the "bat wings", as my sister and I now lovingly call the hair tragedy before you. That's me, on the right. We're in our most favorite pajamas, these silky dresses that came with a see-through lace robe thing to wear over it. We'd run around the house and yard holding them out in the wind pretending to be princesses or fairies or something. But that hair? That hair pretty much sums up my childhood.