Timber!

I seem to have an affinity for passing out. Not on purpose, as we used to do in junior high (so dangerous, bytheway. Parents? Make sure your kids aren't as stupid as we were. We stopped doing that after a kid we knew went into convulsions.). And not just passing out in the comforts of my own home, but public places. Sometimes when I'm the center of attention. Here, a run down of the ones I can remember. I'm sure there are more. (Please forgive the spacial issues that I know will follow....)

1. I may have mentioned this one already, but I passed out while giving my first talk in church. I was 12, a new addition to our church's youth program, and locked my knees. Big mistake. I remember the words suddenly oozing out of focus on my page. I looked up and saw a sea of blurry colors, the clothing of the audience fusing together, but I wasn't panicky. I remember calmly wondering how I'd finish my talk if I couldn't see the words. Hmm......and the next thing I knew I was looking up from the floor, another sea of faces above me. A little reminiscent of the final scene in the Wizard of Oz, my parents and bishopric trying to hide their smiles. I immediately burst into tears, thinking they'd make me finish my talk. One of my best friends was in the audience and had also burst into tears, thinking I had died right there before her eyes. I wanted to a little bit, when I woke up.

2. I passed out and threw up after taking Tylenol with codeine after my wisdom teeth were taken out. Apparently I am allergic.

3. I already went into full detail of the incident at PF Chang's on this post. Enjoy. Just not too close to dinner time.

4. I spent my high school years working at Cold Stone. A fabulous high school job bytheway, and secretly? I sometimes miss those years. So carefree. Such a no-nonsense job. Anyway. When I first started working there my manager warned me about putting the ice cream bins carefully back into the ghia freezer out front (think the big glass window that houses the ice cream). One of the girls, she said, accidentally slammed her fingers while doing so and had passed out! What a priss, I thought, passing out because her fingers were squished? The ice cream bins are heavy it's true, but not enough to make someone pass out. Or so I thought. Just days later I was working on a busy night and went to restock one of the flavors. I dropped the bin into it's place and two of my fingers stayed behind. It hurt, and I quickly walked to the back to hop around and hold my throbbing fingers. One of my coworkers was back there and I remember telling her I'd just slammed my fingers and ha, ha, maybe I'll pass out! And then I did, falling mid step and into the wall. To this day I have no idea why that would cause anyone to pass out. But it does.

5. And ha! This one has to do with Cold Stone, too. Not to scare anyone off. I was working one Saturday with our manager (the fabulous one...hi Heather!) and we decided to get really ambitious and clean the INSIDE of the ice cream maker. We unscrewed the thick metal panel off of the side and deep cleaned the sucker. By the time we were nearly finished it was time for her to head out and I told her to leave, reassuring her I could screw it back on myself. The only problem is that the panel was big and I had to hold it with one hand so that I could line up the holes to get the screw in (sounds like I know what I'm talking about, doesn't it?). The panel slipped and sliced my finger wide open. And by wide, I mean wide. There was a lot of blood. I was alone, of course, and had to call someone to come watch the store while I went to go get stitches. I think I even had to leave my cousin in charge until someone came and I can only imagine how that went when the next customer came in. "Hi, can I get...." "No, you cannot get. Not right now." My mom took me to the hospital and they began to numb my finger to put in the stitches. I was smack dab in the middle of my medical anatomy class and so I was completely fascinated, watching the whole process. Or, most of the process, I passed out somewhere in between the little numbing shots. I remember waking up and being flat on my back when I was once sitting up. The doctor looked a little sheepish and explained that I'd passed out and they thought I was going to have a seizure. Lovely. Note to self? Don't watch next time. Lesson learned. Almost.

6. One day in college I was walking by the library and noticed a sign that said there was a blood drive going on. I'd never given blood before and thought it would be a great opportunity. I popped in, answered all the questions right (yes! overachiever!) and was soon lounging in the chair watching the blood slowly drain into their bag. At this point, after having passed out so many times and knowing the signs leading up to it, I knew what was soon coming. I tried to let them know, "Um, hello? I think I'm going to...." and there I went. They got about 80 cc's out of me, not enough. They brought me bags and bags of cookies and ten different drinks to choose from and practically wired me to the chair. I wasn't of the mind to sit and eat cookies in front of them, but there were about four different people who's sole responsibility had been to make sure I finish my cookies. I finished one bag and had to convince them to let me drive myself home. They don't like you to do that, you know. I was a veteran though, I knew I could handle it.

7. The last time, I believe, was a few months after Caleb and I had been married. For reasons I won't go into, I wasn't feeling well. At all. I went to the bathroom and curled up by the toilet, Caleb nervously watching me, and passed out. Of course. I remember coming to very slowly, hearing Caleb frantically calling my name. He'd never seen anyone pass out before, let alone his wife of mere days. It's okay, I told him a lazy smile on my face, this happens all the time.

So that's me, fainting extraordinaire. What affinity do you have?