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June 1, 2007

Mi Casa?

I didn't mean to disappear. It just sort of happened, it's been fairly crazy around here and I suppose I just sort of burnt out. One minute I was waking up for work, groggy-eyed and stumbling, and the next minute I was getting into bed, groggy-eyed and stumbling. Somewhere in between there I went to work and stuff. And a whole weekend ago was Memorial Day, which feels like ages really. I'll post some pictures of that, it was good times. We got up close and personal with the colors of Flickr.

But what really did me in this week all started on Sunday. I've spent the last month or so scouring craigslist for a little home to rent, somewhere to hang our hat and let the dog out with nothing more than a flick of the wrist. I found one on Sunday that we decided to check out, it was just down the street and it was a home. All by itself. No one living above or below, and at LEAST 10 feet on either side. It had a backyard. So we were pretty much sold. We called the woman and went to see it the next morning where I immediately fell in love. The home was built in 1939 and there is very little that has changed. It smelled like my grandmothers home, and I breathed deeply as we explored. The stove is an original and everything is white. White walls, white tile kitchen, white book shelves, white bathroom fixtures. There are so many closets and built in shelves we could store everything we own AND everything you own, and still have enough space for daily trips to Costco. There is an old fashioned storm cellar in the back, the kind with stairs leading down under the house for MORE storage. The side of the house has a lemon and orange tree. It had me at hello.

We deliberated at home for about 20 minutes before I started scrambling to fill out the application and turn it in. That was Monday.

Tuesday morning I woke up with an intense desire to restore it, visions of clawfoot tubs in my head. Old hardwood floors, those tiny square bathroom tiles. I began researching 1940's home decor. I found a clawfoot tub retailer online, the perfect white cutout curtains to hang.

By Wednesday I was imagining myself living there, where our furniture would go, which books to place where. "We're going to have to install an outdoor light on the side of the house," I told Caleb, "and I'm totally going to put an herb garden in the back."

On Thursday we were told that they were going to give it to someone else, someone who could move in immediately (our lease is up July 1st). I cried. Someone had stolen my dream home right out from under me.

This morning I cried. My house! It was gone! I will not be making homemade lemonade from the lemons I picked in my own yard. I would not be taking hot bubble baths in my own clawfoot tub. And this would have looked amazing on those white walls.

I realize that this is certainly not something I should be so upset about. It certainly had it's down sides, there was no dishwasher, no air conditioning. The washer and dryer was on it's last leg and was on my list of Things That Must Go. It's just that I've never fallen in love with something so quickly, have something root itself so strong. (Except for that huge crush I had once, but there were other reasons for that as well....) But it's hardly the end of the world. I will go on. There will be another home, another kitchen to bake ginger snaps in. I'm sure we can find another backyard with such a gorgeous deeply rooted tree.

Excuse me, I need a tissue.....

Ahem. No big deal. I'm over it. So it's back to the drawing board again. This time though, we've got less than a month to find a place, pack, and move in. This should get interesting.


Em said...

YEA! I'm glad you're back, and more importantly, that you're doing okay dealing with the loss of the old house.

You'll find a great place, trust me!

Jess said...

*sigh* So I read this post and the one you link to about that silly boy in high school. Can I just say that I never realized you and I are so alike? Everything you write is like someone pulling a string of information out of my soul that has never been put into words before.
I had a similar expirience with a boy... and I vowed to never let anything into my heart so easily again. Of course every once in a while something sneaks in and I become obsessively attached. Which only makes the withdrawls worse!
But don't worry! You'll find a house you love. Lucky for you, you live in the city that has the MOST historic homes out of anywhere. OH and I can't wait for that homemade lemonade!

Kathy said...

I'm really sorry about the house. I didn't realize that you loved it so much until I read this post. You sounded iffy on the phone. This is one reason why it really does feel weird to read your blog sometimes, because it's like I'm reading your journal...