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March 6, 2007

The tale of the SIWNM

Day #1 of Project: Keep The Crazy Dog Calm

No sedatives. All gone. He woke us up at 5:24 am.

Later I ran Caleb to the airport, and then returned back home to take the dog out before going back to work. It takes me literally 10 minutes, round trip. We live that close. And in that 10 minutes, the dog, the gimp, he who just eeked out over $300 from us, had managed to get the half-loaf of bread from the counter and devour it.

So yeah, things are going well. He's now bemoaning the fact that Caleb isn't here. Everything's normal.

And me? Recovering. Today I had to ship a rather large item for work. A framed NY Yankee's signed jersey to be exact. I decided to take it to the local UPS Store (sorry Cabe...Brown does a lot for me...) to be professionally packaged. It was large, but fit fairly easily in the back seat of my car. Today when I came to pick it up, well, it was just a little bit larger. Thankfully not very heavy, so I lugged it back to my car, opened up the car door, and started trying to solve the world's most impossible Tetris game.

I lost.

Just as I was about to start freaking out, here I am with this super important FRAMED SIGNED JERSERY and no way to transport it back, some super insanely wonderfully nice man came over asking if I needed help. Um, yes. Yes I do. He quickly agreed that no, it would not be fitting in my car. Trunk? Maybe. And hey! My back seats? They fold down! Yeah for 60 / 40 split or whatever! The only problem, I told him, was that I had no idea how to fold them. I start pulling out all these little levers, thinking YES! ME! SMART! The SIWNM said that um, no, that was for child seats or something. Luckily I accidentally happened upon the magic button, little levers IN the truck. Sadly though, we could only shove the in 3/4 of the way. That left about, oh, 2 feet sticking out the back. Did I say that this box was about 3 inches shorter than me? 'Tis true. My office was only a few minutes away, so we both decided I'd be okay, so long as I didn't travel over 25 mph. So I got to be one of THOSE people. The idiots that drive with who-knows-what sticking out of their trunk, plodding along as if their mattress or freshly-cut tree was priceless.

Mine was though.

Thankfully it is now out of my hands and into the (hopefully!) loving arms of DHL (there Cabe, happy?!). And here's where I must, as my husband's wife, shamelessly plug DHL.

DHL. DHL. DHL. DHL.

I've really got to find something exciting to fill my day. This is getting ridiculous.

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