In Which The Early Bird TOTALLY Gets the Worm....

First of all, I'm sitting on the plane waiting (sorta...) patiently, reading up on all the hot celeb gossip. And I run across a title that says something about Matt Lauer and his girl having another boy. Have you SEEN what they named the kid?! Talk about having a complex! Thijs?! And no, that's no spelling error. Yes, there should definitely be another vowel or something. Apparently it's Dutch? He's going to need to come equipped with a phonetic guide for his teachers, because you KNOW that'll never be pronounced right.

And another lovely headline, and I quote: "Friends Say They're Shocked by Pam-Kid Rock Split". SHOCKED?! Don't you think that's a little...um....harsh? Bold? You mean, he finally saw her past her ginormous boobies, and she finally noticed his white-trash mullet? I mean really, if they can't make it work, how can the rest of us have any hope?!?! Right....................

And now let's get back to that whole waiting patiently on the airplane thing. We were SUPPOSED to leave at 3 pm today, and of course, didn't leave for about a half hour. Which was fine, right? We were a bit frustrated, but all in all, we were on our way. So we're up in the air, just about to order our drinks, when the plane suddenly slows WAY down. I looked around and nothing was said, so I just figured maybe I'd just never noticed it before. Planes totally slow down at like, 35,000 ft, right? Sure enough though, the captain gets on the speaker and says "Uh....folks......some of you might have noticed our slowing, we hit a large bird....and....now we're going to have to head back to Salt Lake to have our maintenance crew check on it." Lucky for us, Cabe and I had a window seat and got to enjoy watching the "maintenance crew" play around with the guts. I actually saw one of them thrusting his new found bird gut, into the face of several other workers, with child-like giddiness. My other favorite part, was when one guy hauled a huge ladder up to the wing, whipped out his bottle of WINDEX, and lovingly whiped off all traces of the dead tweety. THIS is the maintenance crew?! The captain had informed us that the reason we had to go back to Salt Lake, rather than our pit stop in Reno, was that they didn't HAVE a maintenance crew in Reno. Because apparently not everyone can Windex a plane. Needless to say, our 2 hour plane ride turned into nearly 3 and a half, and we were not happy campers.

I did some thinking during all of this lovely waiting time I was provided with today. Yesterday I decided on a whim to try out the new paint-your-nails-black thing. I kinda like it. But I wonder if that isn't making all the gothic chicks absolutely itching with anger. Isn't that their whole THING? To be different? To be the complete opposite of trendy? What are they going to do now, I wonder? Maybe they'll start going all pink. Or.....white?!

And as a side note: Bath & Body Works? Would it be a huge imposition to ask that you puh-LEASE bring back the Rice & Shea Flower lotion!? I've got one bottle, and I'm using it in only extreme circumstances. Like one might do with wheat in a famine. I went all out tonight and put it all over my newly-shaved LEGS. BOTH OF THEM. And now I'm all anxious, like maybe I should have rationed it better.............and so I was thinking - if you'd please bring it back, maybe just for a month, I could replenish my stock. Maybe I could even start USING it. Like, twice a week or something..........