Bay Area Subway

Yesterday I decided to run some errands on my lunch break and after making a quick stop at Target (well, as quick as you can be at Target. I go there with a list of two items to purchase and every time I walk out with an armload of bags, dazed and confused, blinking into the bright sun....). I made an even quicker stop at Micheal's (I don't do well at craft stores...) to try to find a plate stand, and then decided I'd run into Subway before heading back to work. I walked in and made my way through the crowd of people standing by the register (Why Subway? Why must you put the front of the line closest to the door? Does this make sense? NO!) to go stand in line. As I was walking up I glanced at the man last in line. He was leaning rather seductively on the glass facing his male friend (operative word here...) who was seated. This isn't so unusual around these parts, except for that his pants were pulled down so low, his shirt bunched up around his hips, that if he'd decided to take an extra big breath his pants would have slid down to his ankles much the same way Kiefer's did a few years back. Though unlike Mr. Sutherland, it was quite clear this guy had decided to forgo underwear that morning. Quite clear. Unmistakably clear. My approach seemed to break him out of his Pose of Seduction, because he glanced at me and in two seconds flat he had his pants up, his shirt down, and turned around to make his order:

"Can I haf' white long foot please?"

Wow sir, you just made my day.