In which I channel "Supermarket Sweep"

It's been three days since Caleb has been away and I think it's safe to say that things are going better than I'd expected. Bear only spent one evening prostrate in front of the front door waiting for him, and I've managed to only have cereal for three meals. I'm afraid to say that my progress on the house however, is excrutiatingly slow. I do have a rather large Goodwill pile, which would be great except for that I now own 3.5 shirts. And half of them are in the wash.

In an attempt to have something to show for myself, I am planning a trip to Ikea tomorrow, which right now is akin to grocery shopping while hungry. This could get interesting. I could make a list, that might help, I try to be a stick-to-the-list type of girl. However, I am also a very skilled rationalizer, and sometimes just forget altogether what we do or don't have. This is why I sometimes come home from the grocery store with 10 different kinds of juice when we already have four in the freezer. And also why I forget the important items on my list (like eggs! Mental note! We are out of eggs!). My Ikea list so far is this;

1. Floor cabinet for the bathroom - MUST MUST MUST. The floor is a very inhospitable place for make up and hair products.

2. Closet storage items, another bar, shoe racks etc. Our closets couldn't fit Ghandi's wardrobe.

3. We really really really really really need a new couch. It is wishful thinking to hope to find one at Ikea, but I am a dreamer.

4. A moping bucket. Because I have 1,100 square feet of hardwood floor in dire need of a good mop.

5. I am desperate for one of those dog food Rubbermaid containers. I would like to be able to walk into my washroom / little-area-that-leads-to-our-backyard without dry heaving.

6. Caleb will kill me for admitting it, but he really wants one of those head-to-toe mirrors for our bedroom so that he can do his hair-walk, smooth his shirt routine before heading off to work. Remind me to capture that sometime, it really is a sight to be seen.

7. We have zero ice cubes in our home. Nada. Zilch. We need ice cube trays.

8. A new shower curtain, which is going to be more difficult than it should be. It needs to be at least 82" in length, long enough to wrap nearly all the way around our tub. That's a good 10 inches longer than your average shower curtain. And I'd REALLY love for it to not have big purple dinosaurs or something. I have a nightmare that it's all we're going to find.

9. About nine gajillion rugs.

10. A dozen other small items. Curtains, a coat hanger, mail organizer. A few larger ones as well. A headboard, fireplace cover, another dresser.

So with my track record, I'll come home with three of these items and about ten others not on the list. Like art, a new lamp, or salad tongs. I've been married for two years and have yet to pick up a proper pair of salad tongs. Which of course, is the measure of success as a wife. Everyone knows that.

It's possible that I am going to need a small truck. Or a good dose of restraint.