Ceremonial Shaving of the Mutt

So we have an Australian Shepherd who naturally has long flowing hair, which I can't stand. Give me short, or give me nothing. So we regularly take him to be "groomed". Shaved really. Recently I decided that paying $50 for the dog to get his hair cut was ridiculous. Who spends that much money on their dog?! Repeatedly!? Not I, nuhhhh uhhhh. I don't even spend that much money on MY HAIR. I thought hey, anyone can shave a dog. People do that all the time right? So I sat down and went through the Dr. Foster and Smith website to choose my weapon. It finally came and we were so excited to use it that we let it sit on our kitchen counter for several days. Finally I decided I'd had enough. The dog's hair certainly wasn't getting any shorter, and I was ready to show off my mad shaving skills. Until of course Caleb reminded me of the last (and first) time I'd shaved anything. It was in high school, and he and his friend Tyler had decided to give Tyler a buzz. Cabe did his head as I watched in silence. After, Cabe asked me to go in the garage and trim his puny sideburns. I tried to display utter confidence in myself, but in reality I'd grown up in an all girl family, and shaving heads had never been a request. I um...slipped....and shaved a BIT too close to his head.... I was absolutely mortified, and Tyler was beside himself. The only way to fix it was to shave the rest of his head that way, and he ended up NOT with a cool buzz, but looking like he'd just got back from his last chemo treatment. It's a good thing his mother didn't know where I lived, because I probably wouldn't be here today. ANYWAY, I think Caleb was a little worried about what I was going to do to his most prized possession. He must have had faith in me though, because he let me start (here is where I should mention the length of time it took to get the dog NEAR the shaver, despite the fact that he's been shaved a zillion times in his mere 3 years, but I'll spare you the details and just state that our dog is a pussy). After only a few minutes we were both astonished at the amount of hair that was coming off - hadn't we JUST shaved him?! This was ridiculous! I had dog fur in places that dog fur should never be. It was all over my hands, arms, legs, behind my knees and all over my face. There was so escaping the itch. It was quite a process and took a lot longer than either Cabe or I anticipated, but we finally finished or, maybe more accurately, got sick of it and called it good. It's not perfect, but it IS short, just the way I like it, and hey. The thing's already paid for itself.

Here is he begging Caleb to Please Make Her Stop, She's Shaving Off My Manhood.

After the massacre, Bear decided he rather liked his new haircut, and spent several minutes prancing around. Here is His Majesty, ruling over with his ginormous prized tennis ball.