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March 8, 2006

That's refreshing....

You know when you read something over and over and over again, never thinking of it? Then one day you read it and go ".....YEAH!!!!" I had that moment a day or so ago at the gym, reading some celebrity magazine (lame, I know....). They were talking about how "40 is the new 20" and why women are more stable and ready for long term relationships. In your 20's they say, you're still trying to figure out who you are. How many times have I heard that kind of thinking? Lots, let's just say that. At that moment however, I felt like someone had taken all of the rambling thoughts that had been squirming in my brain and told them to sit down and shut up. Wow, is that why I feel like I have no direction? No real talents? Nothing that is ME? I feel like just in the past year my tastes, likes, and dislikes have taken a complete 180 degreen turn. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. No realistic jobs sound exciting. I've found myself having the same childish desires I had when I was in junior high wishing to be famous, an actress, a singer. Things that I neither have the talent for, or are workable in the life I have now. While I get depressed about this, I think I've finally decided it's a good thing. I haven't figured out what I want to do with it, but that only means I'm free to do most anything. And that's pretty cool.

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