Kimba

Forwarding...

2007-11-04T23:00:00.000-08:00

Hey! If you're still here, then switch on over to my new blog home, http://www.kimbanelson.com/. See ya there! Don't forget to update your lists!

Up comes the sun...

2007-11-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

Every thing's broken. I spent all morning trying to fix it, and then realized I couldn't do it on my own. So, stay tuned! Things will be workin' fine in no time...I hope...ya know, it really helps if you know what you're doing. I mean seriously. It's almost laughable, except for when you're working on it for hours and all you feel like doing is curling up in a corner. Or under the covers, which may or may not be exactly what I did when I got home from work today. Apparently it was the solution, because when I woke up I had a nice little message from Typepad telling me exactly what I did wrong. From the very beginning. Wahoo!!!! Yeah me!

I think this will fix everything that's not working on this site. So...hold tight for a day or so. Until then you can still see this site at kimba.typepad.com.

In other news, there was a spider in my car today. I don't know if there is anything more terrifying, except maybe snakes on a plane. And we all know how well that turned out. (Actually, I don't. I never saw it. But I can only imagine....) I was sitting there at a stop light, minding my own business, ya know? I happened to glance down at the center console and saw a little tannish-yellowish THING. A little curious, I poked it with the end of my fork. (Oh, why did I have a fork in the car? Funny thing, I was eating my lunch. On the way to work. Cause I spend my lunch doing Tae Bo with Billy Blanks. Anyway, back to the spider...) So there I was, fork in hand, and I poked it, thinking, hoping, maybe it was some debris? But it wasn't. And it didn't like being poked. It sprang, alive and kicking, and scurried down the fork and the side of the console. My scream was so loud, so involuntary, I swear it echoed. I'm sort of hoping it killed the spider on the spot. I could be that lucky, right? The worst part of it all is that I couldn't move, I was buckled, no, STRAPPED IN with that thing. I spent the entire drive back to the office curved against the door. I'm hoping that by locking the door, leaving the car over the weekend, maybe it will just die. Go away.

Either that or spin a gazillion webs.

NaBloPoMo Day 1: Moving Day!

2007-11-01T00:21:00.000-07:00

1st day of NaBloPoMo! The insanity begins! And guess what?! My new blog is done! That's right, I have a new home. I've picked up shop! Packed my bags, so to speak. I've been working hard these last few weeks, trying to learn all about my new host, Typepad. It hasn't been easy, and I'm not done making all the changes that I want (you might find that there aren't many so far...and you'd be right...but that's only because I haven't yet figured it all out yet), so please bear with me as I settle in. I believe I've mentioned that I have no idea what I'm doing, but really, I don't. So. It's going to take me a bit. It's just that, wow, it's late (or early, however you choose to see it...) and I'm um, a little frazzled. I have this huge checklist of things to update, things to add, things to delete, and it keeps growing, the list I mean. But I promised to have it ready by today, and so it is. Nearly.

So go check it out! Go on!

(comments from the last few days haven't been moved over...because I nearly cried when I realized how much work that would be. Forgive me.)

All in a day's work

2007-10-29T16:32:00.000-07:00

So I'm at work, right? And I have the wonderful opportunity of contacting this guy to tell him that generally when filling out a three page form, you're required to, ya know, fill out the three page form. A name and phone number doesn't really cut it, does it?

(gets up on tiny soap box)

Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. For the good of the people, for the love of pete, if you're filling out a form, any form at all, for cryin' out loud fill the form out. Trust me, if we didn't need to ask you these questions we would not ask you these questions. And while you're at it, please have the decency to pause and consider that there may be someone out there who *gets* to decipher your hieroglyphics into some sort of sense. It's maddening, people. Maddening.

(lets out a breath, steps off tiny soap box)

Where was I? Oh yes, the phone call. So I guess which numbers to dial, is that a zero or an O? A four or a seven? and it rings. At least it's a valid number number, right? The phone picks up and then promptly hangs up. I redial, switching the six to a zero and nada. I try the original number (soap box....seriously....) and this time the ringing is replaced by a slightly familiar trickling noise. I silently pray that Mr. Can't Write and / or Fill Out A Form Properly is having lunch on the shores of a babbling brook and before my little reverie continues, the trickling stops. Drip. Drip. Fumble, fumble. Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!

Oh no. This is not happening. I do not get paid enough...

I wait semi-amused for him to decide maybe to answer his phone, and hear the sound of a door swing open (mental note: disinfect form. Now. And then go wash my hands...) and then Mr. Doesn't Wash His Hands decides now is an appropriate time to answer his call.

Sir Drippy:"Hello?"

Me:"Hello?"

Sir Drippy:"Hello?"

Me:"Hello?"

Sir Drippy:"Hello?"

"Mr. ******?"

"Yes? Oh, hi! Yeah, you can resend me the form..."

After hanging up I make sure to highlight all of the fields he needs to fill out in bright yellow. Both for his sake and mine. It will remind me to have my sanitizer handy when it's returned.

Caleb's Quote of the Day

2007-10-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

"I mean, you can't get any further from the United States than Virginia!"

Sure can't. No suh.

Links, anyone?

2007-10-26T16:05:00.000-07:00

Phew! It's been a crazy few days. Forgive my absence, and I'll get started answering your questions. First, sorry, I meant to explain NaBloPoMo, or at least link to it but obviously failed to do so. So. There you go. No you are NOT crazy if you haven't heard of it yet, because you just did. Just now. And there's still plenty of time to sign up and gear up. It's fun, sometimes grueling, a little crazy. You "meet" a lot of new people, which, if you're like me, means you're just adding people to your blog roll, ever increasing your Internet time. It's a lovely thing. Try it! We can commiserate through the writer's block together. If you wanted to get a little more help, buy this book by the lovely Margaret Mason (Mighty Goods anyone?). I bought it last year and have used it fairly frequently when I didn't have anything interesting (or so I thought) to say. The dog hadn't puked (or here or here) that day (what does that say when you search for "puke" in your archives and come up with like, 8 different posts?), or my little sister hadn't cheated in art. You know, the usual.

So, guess what? I played hooky yesterday. Hooky from work, hooky from cleaning, hooky from the computer....well, nearly...and it was fabulous. It was the second time I've ever played hooky, the first being Caleb's birthday a few years ago. It was a total last minute decision, and one of the best days ever. This time though, it was planned out, nearly a month ahead. H&M opened it's doors yesterday in our area and my friend Bridgette and I planned to be there. We just didn't know 9,486 other people had the same bright idea. We arrived an hour before it opened and saw The Line. It wrapped around the entire store and most of the way through the parking lot. There were photographers there, people. Photographers, policemen, and lots and lots and lots of women. And a few men. And one french bulldog. (No, seriously, I saw one.) Needless to say we didn't wait in line, but we did make it back later that night. It was still crazy. We walked around the store like cattle in a shoot, barely able to glance at this shirt, that skirt, before we were forced along. To sum it up, I will tell you that the colors for the season are black, black, black, grey, black, grey, neon yellow / green, black, black, grey, and purple. And everything in the store is some variation of $29.90. It was beautiful.

It was amazing how many things we jam packed into the day yesterday. Besides H&M, I slept in UNTIL 9 AM, we hit another mall and a few other stores, ate lunch, I trimmed my hair, went grocery shopping, Target shopping (yes, it gets it's own category) and had several hours to lounge around. What in the WORLD?! I kept glancing at the clock thinking that some invisible timer would Ding! signaling that the day was over, I'd had enough fun. But it just kept going. I called Caleb partway through the day and told him I could really get used to this, this whole not-working thing. It won't happen until I'm wrangling a newborn, but that will be even better.

And no, I am not pregnant. I know what you were all thinkin'. Not yet.

And counting....

2007-10-23T23:47:00.000-07:00

One week till Halloween.........

And you know what that means......oh wait, you don't. Alright, I'll tell you. That means one week and one day until I show ya'll my new blog! (Now don't get too excited, for the nine gazillionth time I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm faking it. Fakin' it 'till I make it. Literally. ) It'll be just in time for my second year of NaBloPoMo, where I plan to redeem myself from last year. I tried people, that's all I have to say.

Nostalgia

2007-10-22T20:52:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen the preview for the new movie, Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium? No? Well, I hadn't either until we stopped in at Costco the other day to pick up...something I'm sure....we wandered down the TV isle, me behind Caleb so I could wipe up his drool, when it came on all thirty TV's at once. I was totally enthralled. Then when we were at Target a few days later to pick up...something I'm sure...I ran into this -

Apparently Fisher Price is bringing back some of their "vintage" toys for the occasion. I wanted to buy them all, but Caleb said something about how we don't even have kids yet.....so I only picked up this. But next time? I'm bringing back the Sock Monkey or the original Mr. Potatohead. Whether he likes it or not....

Sunday Stroll

2007-10-21T20:01:00.000-07:00

Oh. Hi! I'm back! I've been working on this OTHER blog, and it's taking me some time to get up and running because, well. I don't know what I'm doing. I believe I've said that before, though. Just a few times. I'll let ya know.

Oh! And look! I have paragraphs! Apparently one day when I was messing around with the template I clicked the "Convert line breaks" or something. Don't click that, it's serious stuff. I ran across an explanation of it the other day as I was researching something for my new template, and literally had that light bulb AHA! moment. So the moral of the story is don't be all clickin' stuff in your template it you don't know what it means. Don't fix it if it ain't broken. And all that.

Anyway, on to the real stuff. Today was absolutely beautiful. The sun was shining, there was a little bit of a breeze.....ahhh.....just perfect. Here's a few shots from our Sunday Walk.

We used to take a short cut on the way home from elementary school that took us along a little stream with snake grass scattered on the bank. I used to love to pull it apart and them put them back together. This was growing in a pot outside of a cute little salon.

I love these little blue flowers. They were growing up a house.

A fun little downtown strip. Just as we walked past, the local Indian movie let out. I was standing there with the mutt in a sea of gorgeous women in their sari's. I felt a little um, well, like I'd just walked into Nordstroms with my Old Navy graphic tee on.

He felt a little lost too.

This is what Bear looks for the entire time. Cats. So we spend the entire time attempting to be one step ahead of him. The thing about Bear is that he has no sixth doggy sense. If he doesn't see it, it isn't there. It could be inches away and he'd never know unless it moved.

How fun is that? I love the little rocking chair.

I am so glad we shaved him. Bear, that is.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about going all out and decorating for the holidays. But this? This is going to give me nightmares. I will never understand this.

This is another of Bear's favorite things to do, find sticks. Although this time it seems he out did himself. Just a little bit. I've got the scrapes to prove it.

Making sure Caleb is coming....

After eight different scrapes to my legs, we decided to make it more manageable. He walked the entire way home with it.

Yeah, I'm enjoying this lovely California weather.

Mental Image, or, The Inner Workings of the Male Mind

2007-10-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

Recently I went to my yearly girlie appointment (that's euphemistic, isn't it?) and while I could go on all day about the crazies I saw and the un-hinged mothers there ("My daughter needs to have a doctors signature on her HPV test! Now! Now! No, N.O.W.!!")....well...I won't. You get the idea.

While it wasn't the purpose of my visit, after a few basic questions my doctor immediately prescribed me some pills that would remind my body that it is, indeed, female. It isn't normal to go over three and a half months with nary a word from Auntie Flow, unless of course you're me, and then it's yesterday's news.

Later in the day I was telling Caleb about the visit and the 5 Magic Pills I'd picked up at the pharmacy (with a $10 co-pay, those babies are $2 a pop!) to get me goin', if you will.

"Isn't it crazy," he said in all seriousness, "that they have pills to basically trigger an auto-flush?"

Bay Area Subway

2007-10-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I decided to run some errands on my lunch break and after making a quick stop at Target (well, as quick as you can be at Target. I go there with a list of two items to purchase and every time I walk out with an armload of bags, dazed and confused, blinking into the bright sun....). I made an even quicker stop at Micheal's (I don't do well at craft stores...) to try to find a plate stand, and then decided I'd run into Subway before heading back to work. I walked in and made my way through the crowd of people standing by the register (Why Subway? Why must you put the front of the line closest to the door? Does this make sense? NO!) to go stand in line. As I was walking up I glanced at the man last in line. He was leaning rather seductively on the glass facing his male friend (operative word here...) who was seated. This isn't so unusual around these parts, except for that his pants were pulled down so low, his shirt bunched up around his hips, that if he'd decided to take an extra big breath his pants would have slid down to his ankles much the same way Kiefer's did a few years back. Though unlike Mr. Sutherland, it was quite clear this guy had decided to forgo underwear that morning. Quite clear. Unmistakably clear. My approach seemed to break him out of his Pose of Seduction, because he glanced at me and in two seconds flat he had his pants up, his shirt down, and turned around to make his order:

"Can I haf' white long foot please?"

Wow sir, you just made my day.

Gussied up

2007-10-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

Our friend Mark travels quite frequently for his job. Recently he was gone for nearly two and a half weeks, which among other things, meant that Caleb spent two and a half weeks with Bridgette, Mark's wife, and myself. And Owen of course, but he doesn't talk yet so we won't count him. We tried to be considerate, but no doubt Caleb endured his fair share of Oprah, girlie magazines, and long in depth discussions about whether a fabric softener is really needed or not. This was made apparent last night during dinner. We were all sitting around the table commenting on the new dish we'd made that night, pork roast with pears. While Mark sat on the floor playing with Owen, Bridgette and Caleb and I discussed ways we could improve the recipe. "Well," Caleb said, "I think it would be great if there was some kind of pear glaze to pour on top." Mmmm, Yes, Wow, Bridgette and I agreed. We sat there for a few seconds contemplating that until Caleb put down his fork and groaned, "Mark! I need you here! Look at me!"

And while we were all giggling, it was true. Caleb had been all girlied-up. Whether he liked it or not. (And he's going to hate that I've announced it to you all, but I swear he's a manly man. He kills the spiders for me, takes the garbage out, and installs a new tail light cover on my car when I sometimes maybe accidentally pop it off. With a white picket fence. And stuff. Woops...)

24

2007-10-07T21:08:00.000-07:00

Breakfast in bed. Book on tape. Lemon tree. Orange tree. Gift card to my favorite cosmetics line. A generous card from parents. A little spiritual enlightenment. Wrapping up in blankets. Shopping. Dinner. Numerous calls, texts, emails from friends and family (thanks guys! It made my day!). A new blog (stay tuned! Thanks Cabe!). A wonderful birthday.

Coming out...

2007-10-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

I am going to be spending the day delurking. It's going to take a bit...but I shall succeed! Go on then! Delurk!

Timber!

2007-10-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

I seem to have an affinity for passing out. Not on purpose, as we used to do in junior high (so dangerous, bytheway. Parents? Make sure your kids aren't as stupid as we were. We stopped doing that after a kid we knew went into convulsions.). And not just passing out in the comforts of my own home, but public places. Sometimes when I'm the center of attention. Here, a run down of the ones I can remember. I'm sure there are more. (Please forgive the spacial issues that I know will follow....)

1. I may have mentioned this one already, but I passed out while giving my first talk in church. I was 12, a new addition to our church's youth program, and locked my knees. Big mistake. I remember the words suddenly oozing out of focus on my page. I looked up and saw a sea of blurry colors, the clothing of the audience fusing together, but I wasn't panicky. I remember calmly wondering how I'd finish my talk if I couldn't see the words. Hmm......and the next thing I knew I was looking up from the floor, another sea of faces above me. A little reminiscent of the final scene in the Wizard of Oz, my parents and bishopric trying to hide their smiles. I immediately burst into tears, thinking they'd make me finish my talk. One of my best friends was in the audience and had also burst into tears, thinking I had died right there before her eyes. I wanted to a little bit, when I woke up.

2. I passed out and threw up after taking Tylenol with codeine after my wisdom teeth were taken out. Apparently I am allergic.

3. I already went into full detail of the incident at PF Chang's on this post. Enjoy. Just not too close to dinner time.

4. I spent my high school years working at Cold Stone. A fabulous high school job bytheway, and secretly? I sometimes miss those years. So carefree. Such a no-nonsense job. Anyway. When I first started working there my manager warned me about putting the ice cream bins carefully back into the ghia freezer out front (think the big glass window that houses the ice cream). One of the girls, she said, accidentally slammed her fingers while doing so and had passed out! What a priss, I thought, passing out because her fingers were squished? The ice cream bins are heavy it's true, but not enough to make someone pass out. Or so I thought. Just days later I was working on a busy night and went to restock one of the flavors. I dropped the bin into it's place and two of my fingers stayed behind. It hurt, and I quickly walked to the back to hop around and hold my throbbing fingers. One of my coworkers was back there and I remember telling her I'd just slammed my fingers and ha, ha, maybe I'll pass out! And then I did, falling mid step and into the wall. To this day I have no idea why that would cause anyone to pass out. But it does.

5. And ha! This one has to do with Cold Stone, too. Not to scare anyone off. I was working one Saturday with our manager (the fabulous one...hi Heather!) and we decided to get really ambitious and clean the INSIDE of the ice cream maker. We unscrewed the thick metal panel off of the side and deep cleaned the sucker. By the time we were nearly finished it was time for her to head out and I told her to leave, reassuring her I could screw it back on myself. The only problem is that the panel was big and I had to hold it with one hand so that I could line up the holes to get the screw in (sounds like I know what I'm talking about, doesn't it?). The panel slipped and sliced my finger wide open. And by wide, I mean wide. There was a lot of blood. I was alone, of course, and had to call someone to come watch the store while I went to go get stitches. I think I even had to leave my cousin in charge until someone came and I can only imagine how that went when the next customer came in. "Hi, can I get...." "No, you cannot get. Not right now." My mom took me to the hospital and they began to numb my finger to put in the stitches. I was smack dab in the middle of my medical anatomy class and so I was completely fascinated, watching the whole process. Or, most of the process, I passed out somewhere in between the little numbing shots. I remember waking up and being flat on my back when I was once sitting up. The doctor looked a little sheepish and explained that I'd passed out and they thought I was going to have a seizure. Lovely. Note to self? Don't watch next time. Lesson learned. Almost.

6. One day in college I was walking by the library and noticed a sign that said there was a blood drive going on. I'd never given blood before and thought it would be a great opportunity. I popped in, answered all the questions right (yes! overachiever!) and was soon lounging in the chair watching the blood slowly drain into their bag. At this point, after having passed out so many times and knowing the signs leading up to it, I knew what was soon coming. I tried to let them know, "Um, hello? I think I'm going to...." and there I went. They got about 80 cc's out of me, not enough. They brought me bags and bags of cookies and ten different drinks to choose from and practically wired me to the chair. I wasn't of the mind to sit and eat cookies in front of them, but there were about four different people who's sole responsibility had been to make sure I finish my cookies. I finished one bag and had to convince them to let me drive myself home. They don't like you to do that, you know. I was a veteran though, I knew I could handle it.

7. The last time, I believe, was a few months after Caleb and I had been married. For reasons I won't go into, I wasn't feeling well. At all. I went to the bathroom and curled up by the toilet, Caleb nervously watching me, and passed out. Of course. I remember coming to very slowly, hearing Caleb frantically calling my name. He'd never seen anyone pass out before, let alone his wife of mere days. It's okay, I told him a lazy smile on my face, this happens all the time.

So that's me, fainting extraordinaire. What affinity do you have?

Iran so far away

2007-10-02T21:02:00.000-07:00

Finally, a copy of this digital short from SNL. NBC posted it only to pull it a few hours later for what ever reason, but here it is. Just in case you missed it. Wait until this is available on iTunes....

Caleb asked me why I didn't preface this video with an explanation. Not that it's my job to keep ya'll up to date on current events, but if you don't understand why this is funny (and wow, that would be shocking....), check this out. (I'm three seconds away from leaving Blogger....this spacing issue is making my skin crawl....)

Phew!

2007-09-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

That masthead took me nine millions hours to complete. There I sat in my pajamas, bloodshot and bugged-eyed at 2:57 am last night.....this morning.....wondering if it was possible to strangle Photoshop. At that hour, anything seems possible. I spent another few hours tonight begging Caleb to help me and then grabbing the laptop from him the moment we made headway. Like, QUICK! PROGRESS! GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!!! And then that would be it, I'd be stuck for another half hour groaning and melting boneless into the couch while simultaneously reaching for another fun size almond Snickers. When I finally made a little progress here and there I was completely and irrationally ecstatic. Eyes a little too wide, big sloppy grin. I'm completely worn out.

Farmers Market Sweep!

2007-09-27T21:27:00.000-07:00

The other night we decided to visit a local farmer's market and make dinner with the things we found there.
It was lovely and warm and smelled of ten different things. Warm Naan, roasting rosemary chicken, and home-grown corn on the cob .....

His pumpkin flatbread was delicious.

We bought an asiago cheese baguette along with his organic Artichoke and Walnut Cheese spread. Absolutely divine.

Beautiful orchids - someday I'll find out how to keep these alive for more than two days. Until then, I'm keeping my grubby little hands off them.

One great thing about living in such a temperate climate is that you can get most fruits and veggies all year long. Like strawberries. Or artichokes (I could live off of those...).

It was an excellent experiment, try it! Go on! Find you local farmers market and dig in!

(See my strategy? Insert pictures to keep the paragraphs apart! Genius! Can't last forever! Am still trying to figure it out!)

Ahhh...halfway there.

2007-09-25T22:19:00.001-07:00

I watch this every so often when I need a break. If you haven't seen it, well, enjoy. It's hilarious. I heart Maya.

An Oregon Weekend

2007-09-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

I spent this last weekend in Albany, Oregon, the town we lived in last. I went back to re-take the test to renew my CNA license. It was odd being back, driving the same old streets, stopping by our old apartment*, the smell of burning wood chips always there in the background. If it wasn't for the fact that my best friend Abby and her husband Brian live there it would've been quite ridiculous. It look longer to fly there than it did to take the test. All went well (I think...) and I should find out if I passed or not by the end of the week. So.....yeah. My stomach is slowly un-knotting itself.

(Funny thing about when I took the test, in between the written and skills portion I studied with a kid who had been in the testing room. During our random conversation he brought up a time recently when he'd killed a moth and said, "It was so crazy, it CRUNCHED." And I said "Yeah, I know, they do that." And he looked at me like I was deranged and said, "How do YOU know that?!" Like....it was so crazy that I knew that moths went *crunch* when you squished them. Is that so odd? Am I the only one who kills moths? I can't be. That's ridiculous.)

(*I saw my lavender that I had planted outside the front door and I thought seriously about digging it up and bringing it home. I probably would have, but didn't have a burlap sack with me. And I don't think that'd be considered a carry on.)

The best part about the trip was after the test, when we were trying to decide what to do. It was my friends last Saturday before they started school and so we tried to come up with something celebratory. One last summer hurrah. And in true Albany, OR fashion, we ended up at the local Heritage Mall. It was a totally appropriate way to remember my time there, wandering around the "mall", which boasts a Sears and Bath and Body Works. And a few other stores that no one can really ever recall. We played Glow Golf, miniature golf under black lights. We ate dinner at The Roadhouse in Salem, a lovely little grill house with peanut shells littering the floor, wandered around a few home stores, and then curled up on the couch to watch Oprah. And that pretty much sums up our year and a half there.

The really odd thing is that the sun shone all weekend long, and I'd like to believe that it was for me. It really is green up there, I'd forgotten how many shades there are. Even more odd though was that it poured buckets here in the Silicon Valley, the first rain since, I don't know, April? May? I don't even remember seeing a threatening cloud since then. I'd like to think this was some sort of sign, the sun that is to come in the near future, if I can just keep going down this path. Slowly bettering myself, dodging the blues. Keeping my pants on, right? Steering clear of the No-Pants. That's my goal.

Excessive Borborygmus

2007-09-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

At 5:45 this morning Caleb and I were jarred awake by what sounded like an alien trying to eek its way through a tiny hole. I lay there completely confused trying to make out what in the world that sound was. Was someone killing a rodent? Was it mating season? It sounds oddly familiar.....OH! I know what that is, I thought in my sleepy stupor, that's Gak being shoved back into it's container by the stubby fingers of an 8 year old boy. That's when Caleb grumbled out of bed and led the dog outside. Apparenly that alien was my dog's stomach, most likely trying to digest the entire bag of carrots he found in the trash the day before. Yeah, howdaya like that, Bear? I didn't throw them out for kicks, ya know....

It was so loud and constant Caleb put him outside so we could get some sleep. I half expected to wake up and find all the local stray dogs in the area gathered around the fence trying to paw their way in. Luckily Bear came in alone, and he spent the rest of the morning sulking and groaning on his bed. Methinks someone learned their lesson.

Oprah* would be proud

2007-09-18T23:42:00.002-07:00

*See this

Busted

2007-09-17T21:35:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be that friend you hate, the one to oh-so-casually mention that they have a HUGE juicy secret that........they just can't tell you right now. Later, they always say, I'll tell you later. I'll tell you when you're older.

(Insert an imaginative paragraph here...since my blogger is continuing to throw a fit)

But seriously? I swear I'll fill you in. It's a sweet idea.

For now I'll provide evidence that here at our household if it's not one thing, it's another. Quite literally. You remember the oven episode right? 6 weeks of an oven that neither baked, broiled, or roasted. We grilled. We ate cereal. And we waited.

This morning when I was in bed, catching a few extra minutes of sleep, Caleb was busy putting holes in our sink. Or rather, a hole. A real live hole.

Exhibit A: Big Gaping Hole.

The offender? One small aftershave bottle, dropped into the sink. It's almost comical, isn't it? Except that we now have one working sink in the house, and no promise that it will get fixed soon. We're taking bets on how long it will be before it gets fixed, and how many times the decision to keep / fix / replace will change.

I'll go first - 2 weeks, and twice. Cause I like to keep things neat and even.

Suspense....

2007-09-17T10:50:00.000-07:00

Update coming soon.....I found an amazing site, sure to blow your minds....

That's what I do here, in case you weren't aware.

Two clicks from a zombie

2007-09-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

I've had trouble sleeping lately, falling asleep in particular. I don't know what spurred it, or what drives it, but there it is, every night the same old thing. I crawl into bed, exhausted, thinking, hoping that THIS IS THE NIGHT. The night I will fall asleep! Soon! And every night I wait....and wait....and wait.

I thought maybe it was caffeine related, I don't drink it very often so maybe it was getting to me. So I stopped and...nothing happened. Then I thought it was because I was watching TV before bed, and you know what they say about THAT. That didn't make a difference either. Then I tried writing down my thoughts / worries / concerns, because that's also what they tell you to do, and that didn't work either. Plus I ran out of space, and that sort of made me feel worse.

I'd sort of given up until last night when I had a great idea. As you might imagine, it's fairly difficult to get up in the morning to work out when you've only logged a few hours of sleep, and so my work out schedule has been suffering. Maybe that's it, I thought, maybe I need to just push through it and work out. Maybe that will get me to fall asleep. So I popped in one of my work out DVDs after getting home from our friend's house. I figured I might as well be doing something rather than laying in bed trying to decipher a tune between Caleb and Bear's snoring. (With the crickets outside, we've nearly got a full orchestra around here....)

Have you ever tried working out at midnight?

I guess what's most surprising to me is that I'm actually sore today. Like, even though it was late and I was emotionally and physically exhausted, I still managed to do enough to produce results. And I can't decide if that's because I just really worked hard, or because I was so tired that it took extra effort to make my body do what it was supposed to do.

Didn't work.

Just curious, how addicting is Benadryl?

(And here we go with the funky formatting again. Now it's screwed up all of my entries! I'm doomed!)

Jabber

2007-09-12T21:15:00.000-07:00

I know this is like, the cliche of blogging, but I been seriously struggling to come up with something interesting to say lately. You maybe could tell. Just maybe.

Look at me, I can't even write about how I have nothing to say without sounding like a total idiot. I just stared at that last sentence for five minutes. Type something, erase. Sit there. Blank. Nothing.

I could tell you all about the exciting things at work, that's, what.....2/3 of my life? But there's only so many things I can say about alphabetizing. I did find another funny last name, Schmuck. That's funny. Poor kid.....

Or I could go on and on about um.....well.....that's it.

Wow. My life. Data entry and alphabetizing. I can FEEL your jealousy emanating from the glow of the screen.

These are the thoughts that have been swirling around my head for a while now, the sad state of my job. A month or so ago I decided to do something about it though, and dug around to see what I needed to do to renew my CNA license. At least it was a step in the right direction, a millimeter closer to something I actually had an interest in. To make a long story short, I ended up booking a plane to Oregon where I was last certified so that I could re-take the written and skills test, with a fake patient and everything. Then I'll have to transfer that license to California, and hope to find a job that doesn't involve me and a giant diaper.

Not to knock those who currently have this daunting task, you really are angels. Saints.

The written portion will be easy enough, I took a practice test without studying and "passed". No worries there. It's the skills portion that makes me nervous, not only because it's been over three years since I took the class, but the class was in Utah and every state is a little different. They sent me a 34 page booklet of the different skill sets they could ask me to perform, and this is all I've got. You can see why I'm a little nervous, not made any better from the few conversations I've had with the ladies at the Oregon State Board of Nursing, "Don't worry honey, if you don't pass you can just re-take the test." Just retake the test, spend another $400 to fly up and re-take the test. Uh huh.

There is a small portion of me that wants to crawl under the covers for a few months. A small portion that seems to be growing bigger and bigger.

Is that a step up or down from no-pants? I can't tell.

Also, since we're on the subject, what in the world is up with my format? Where did all my paragraph spacing go?! Why does it look one way on the preview and a completely different way online? Is this a widespread problem, or just reserved for special people like me? Is it time to leave Blogger for bigger and better grounds? Anyone have any strong opinions about a hosting company? (Only 14 more questions to go....)

Is it bed time yet?

Psst!!!

2007-09-07T11:04:00.000-07:00

I love Benefit Cosmetics. I love the packaging. I love the products. I love the origins. I am enamored. I am not being paid to say this.

I first ran into their cosmetics line in Australia, and I have to admit, I was first drawn to the packaging. They go for an old fashioned, rummaged-in-your-momma's-cabinet (or grandma's...) look, and the design and colors and pictures just appeal to me.

'Nuff said, I know. I'm not exactly the model of gorgeousness for you all to glean your make up advice from, but whatever, we can pretend. I had to pass on this little tidbit, I got an email from Benefit saying that if you spend $25 on Benefit products, you can get a year subscription to Lucky Magazine for free! Enter promo code LUCKYMAG at checkout. And trust me, it'll be easy to spend the $25. If nothing else, the Maybe Baby perfume is absolutely amazing. So is High Beam. And Boi-ing. And Lemon-Aid. And so on and so forth.

So there. My good deed for the day.

Tahoe Trip: In all it's glory

2007-09-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

Our trip to Tahoe was by most standards fairly uneventful. We spent a few hours eating lunch at the lake, walked around the historic downtown, napped, watched a few movies....and that's about it. It was absolutely wonderful. Since we were so privileged to have our friend's little guy around...

we worked around his schedule. This meant a lot of down time between the hours of about noon and three, which suited us just fine.

Is there anything better than a nap after sifting through magazines? I submit that there is not!

The clicks of the camera wake me up, and I un-roll my lanky, funky-jointed arm to let some blood in....hmm....there is a perfect impression of the couch on my arm....

Mmm....afternoon nap.....can....not....wake....up......

Besides catch up on some much needed sleep, we also celebrated two birthdays.....

Are those not the best candles EVER?! Seriously....(notice the missing frosting?! Can we say curious one-year-old?!)

But mostly we entertained ourselves with the baby.

(Warning: cuteness of this magnitude has been known to cause severe baby-hunger. Proceed with caution.)

Here's a great one - me attempting in vain to put my arm around both Abby and Bridgette. Failed miserably. Abby was crouching, and I was on my toes, but I still look a little reminiscent of Igor...("You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump."...."What hump?")

Just in case you thought we took ourselves a bit too seriously in that last shot. Maybe you were feeling a little awkward with the formality? A nice little pose, no silly commentary? Thought so.

Nature Walk

2007-09-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

We're spending Labor Day weekend in Tahoe this year with our good friends. Our friend's little boy had a rough night, what with us interrupting his sleep and all to drive here, and so I decided to take him on a walk this morning to let his parents have a break. I came home and wanted to know how far we'd gone, so I googled "track my run" or something. I found this FABULOUS site, Map My Run , and quickly typed in our address and drew our route. You can save your runs on your profile, leave comments about the run for yourself, specify the type of run, intensity, things you saw etc. Such a great idea! Had to pass it along. Here's our little walk, or mine I should say, Owen enjoyed the roaming dogs, squirrels, and chipmunks from the comfort of his stroller while I pushed him up the hill.

Lucky kid.

Truckee Walk with Owen
Find more Walks in Truckee, California

I hope you all have a lovely Labor Day! I'm going to go enjoy mine...

How to mess up your kid in two words or less...

2007-08-30T22:25:00.001-07:00

I've made it no secret that the job I'm currently holding (that's such a funny expression...holding a job....) isn't my favorite. I've recently been involved in helping to organize the registration for an event that's expecting to pull in 800 people. Sounds exciting, right? Well, today my "exciting" task was to get all of the registration sheets in alphabetical order. Which is like having a migraine at the DMV, except that they don't make Excedrin-for-filing.

Will someone please get on that? We can fly to the moon, but we can't come up with some sort of pill for the filing-ache? Priorities people, priorities.

In an attempt to save a few brain cells from the numbing task, I decided to pay close attention to the names I was filing as there never seems to be a shortage of idiotic parents out there. I was not let down. We had Atilla (I pray she's skinny and beautiful, otherwise she won't make it through junior high), and Lolly (only funny because in Australia a lolly is their word for candy. And "Fancy a lolly?" can be interpreted so many ways....). How about Art Poster? No need to question what his parents were... My favorite though, the name that had me giggling all day long - Phil McCracken.

I wish I was joking. We can only hope he has 20 / 20 vision and perfect teeth.

Phil? This is psychological abuse, and you don't have to take it. Get a therapist. Quick.

Lunar Eclipse

2007-08-29T22:43:00.000-07:00

So did anyone stay up late on Monday night to check out the lunar eclipse? No?! Someone at work told me that the next one wouldn't be until 2287! I have no idea if that's true or not, I didn't really check the facts. We thought it would be cool, so we set our alarm for 2:30 am to check it out.

The alarm went off and all my enthusiasm lay snuggled in my covers. It was rough. But I persevered, threw on my over-sized pajama shirt and literally waddled out the back door in my flip flops. No pants. Because really, who's going to be up at 2:30 in the morning making sure I had pants on? Not me, that's for sure. And Caleb knew better than to go that route.

I stood outside, head thrown back, looking at the (eclipsing? is that word?) moon while Caleb set up the tripod trying to etch the memory into my brain. You know, for the day when my grandchildren are sitting atop my knee asking me where I was when I saw the historic 2007 Lunar Eclipse. "Grandma! Tell us more!" Well my little darlings....back when the iPhone was all the rage....

I lasted another 5 minutes. Caleb's pictures would have to suffice.

By the time he was shooting these next few shots, I was (trying....) to fall asleep. Bear was going crazy, obviously upset at being left out of Caleb's shenanigans, his nails click-clacking all over the house.

At least he was doing something worthwhile while missing his beauty sleep. :) Love you too, Cabe.

Our Oven: A Series of Unfortunate Events

2007-08-26T21:15:00.000-07:00

It's like a miracle. We have an oven. Not only do we have an oven, but it WORKS. That's key, people. It turns on, and it heats up to the desired temperature AND IT STAYS THERE. It's freakin' amazing. Mostly because um, we just got it. Days ago.

We first noticed that the oven wasn't working when we were preparing a meal for our friends. I preheated the oven to 350 degrees but even after waiting several minutes past that familiar your-oven-is-ready-for-you-ma'am-BEEP, the oven clearly wasn't anywhere near 150 degrees, let alone 350. It made for an interesting meal. We let our landlord know and he asked us to schedule an appointment for a GE service technician to come out. After taking a look at it, the technician gave us a quote for over $1,000. A large fee for any oven, but most especially for that one, seeing as it was 14 years old. Even the technician told us that it wasn't worth the fix and that we should get a new oven, and we of course agreed. I scanned the quote and we sent it to our landlord along with an explanation and our thoughts. We'd also taken the initiative to research ovens and found several very nice ovens that were much less than $1,000. It was a no-brainer for us.

Not so for the landlord. He and his assistant flip-flopped more times than John Kerry (here, here or here...), and I really couldn't understand it. I am a fairly logical person, sometimes even too logical (Caleb will wholeheartedly agree with me here), and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Why was it even a question?! You pay less money for a new oven that will continue to work for years! How long did he expect it to continue working? But after a week or two of deliberating (yes...a week or two...) they decided they wanted to fix the old oven. Which, fine. Whatever. We didn't want a NEW oven, really, we just freaking wanted a working oven. It just so happened to make more sense to spend less for a new one. So I called GE again and scheduled them to fix it. Finally, we were getting it fixed.

Except that we weren't. GE showed up and basically said "Hi. What are we doing today?" Um, yes, you're FIXING OUR OVEN. As discussed. But of course, you guessed it, it wasn't discussed. GE had failed to mention to the independent contractors (grrrr.....) that we were fixing the oven. So now we needed to not only reschedule, we needed to order the parts. Fabulous. We did, and waited another week for the parts to arrive.

Remember, this is our oven. Just wanted to remind you.

The parts finally arrived, yee-hoo, and I called GE. "Oh, yes Ma'am, we've already scheduled an appointment for you for tomorrow!" WELL. That's a step in the right direction, isn't it? The next morning Caleb is waiting at home for the appointed service call, sometime between 8 am and noon (We'll be there sometime between 6 am and 6 pm, and yes you need to stay at home the entire day....). And yup, you guessed it, there was a glitch. This time, however, a very unexpected one.

I get a call at work from Caleb and he says, "Kim, GE called. They said that (our landlord) called them and ordered a new oven. We're getting it sometime next week."

YEAH! WE'RE GETTING A NEW OVEN! SMART MOVE! FINALLY!

And........when were they going to tell us that? Just curious......

So we had to wait another week. Fantabulous. I was getting a little sad, thinking about retiring our itty-bitty George Foreman, missing already the lingering smell of grilled chicken from three days ago. And cereal. All that cereal for dinner.

You can see why, when I mentioned a few days ago that we may be getting our oven the next day, I was a little hesitant.

But it's here, in all it's $500 glory. Caleb and I both left work early that day to watch them put it in. After six weeks of waiting, it was like going to Disneyland for the first time. Magical.

Flora

2007-08-24T22:03:00.000-07:00

Flowers from the few bushes in my backyard that I plan to keep:

And our neighbors plant that I covet:

Baby Elijah

2007-08-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

One of my good friends, Katie, had her second little baby this last weekend, Elijah.

So beautiful.

Congratulations Katie and Josh! Can't wait to snuggle him at our annual Girls Christmas party....

Dessert

2007-08-20T22:14:00.000-07:00

Last night we had planned to head down to our friend Mark's house for a barbecue with my sister and her best friend (who brought our *new* car! yeah!!!), along with a few of Mark's colleagues (and interns...). That was the plan at least, a lovely Sunday barbecue. I planned on bringing a summery pasta salad and a dessert. Nothing fancy, since um, we still don't have an oven. But that's another story for another day. I don't even want to jinx it by talking about it, but we're hopefully getting one tomorrow.

(This is where I make a quick dash to knock on wood, I'm not superstitious, but desperate times call for desperate measures...)

A few hours before we were supposed to head down for dinner I called Mark to check up on things. He told me that his friend, a native Italian, was coming to dinner and had decided to "whip up a few things". And by a few things, he meant three different types of pasta, two different types of anti pasta, and a little dish of mushrooms in his own special sauce. All this, thrown together on a whim at 11:30 the previous night.

We both agreed that it was probably smart for me to uh, ditch my pasta. Poste haste. There's no competing with an Italian. Ever.

Of course, it was absolutely fantastic. Everything. He spent at least an hour and a half preparing everything, and my little thrown-together-at-the-last-minute green salad looked piddly in comparison. After we'd filled ourselves to near overflowing, we sat around the table talking about how amazing it was, totally and completely satisfied.

It took me about five minutes before I realized that I'd brought Indoor Smores for dessert. Indoor smores. Indoor. Smores.

It's a lovely compliment to pesto tortellini, fettucini carbonara, and gnocchi. Just......lovely.

Very high society.

As Is

2007-08-17T23:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't talked much about everything that Caleb and I have been doing to improve our little rental home, mostly because we've been too busy working. Caleb has been the busiest, re-painting the white picket fence and fixing the sprinklers. We also re-painted the bathroom, and it looks one bajillion times better. Pictures will follow, once I find a shower curtain that measures 72 x 92. I'd prefer one that doesn't have fishies, odd blue tile swirls, or random geometric shapes. It's proving to be a difficult task, and the longer it takes the better and better the fishies look. I'm praying it doesn't come down to that.

One of our recent purchases was a last minute decision while checking out at Ikea. Caleb was in a less-than-happy mood because I was "being difficult", not wanting to purchase the first lamp I laid eyes on. We're in dire need of some more light fixtures around the place, these old homes don't come equipped with as many ceiling lights as we're used to. So we're checking out and I decided to run and check the As-Is area to see if maybe some fabulous couch was waiting for us to take it home, and oh yeah, only costs $100.

No such luck. But it's better to have looked and lost, than never to have looked at all.

(Wow, it's late.)

At the very end of the pile I found a few boxes of discontinued hanging lights for $10. And while we quickly discovered the reason they were discontinued (doesn't align flush with the ceiling, and um...the white bulbs are different. One has a lip and the other one doesn't! But hey! It's eclectic, right?!), with a little lovin', a bit of black spray paint, it looks fabulous. Or, at the very least, brightens the area.

Those curtains are not my favorite, but just so happen to be on the bottom of my To Do list. I have my priorities straight, people.

Sort of.

8 Counts

2007-08-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

Is it that bad to be really, genuinely sad that a reality show is nearing it's end? Thank heavens for my DVR, because I can feel the withdrawals coming......

And so my next item of business is to find a real live legitimate dance studio. For adults.

Meme

2007-08-14T22:15:00.000-07:00

Bethany tagged me to do this meme, and I usually try to save those as my "quick post" ideas. You know, when you haven't posted in a few days.....and you know you should....but you can't find time....or have an idea....

So. It's perfectly fitting for tonight.

5 Things I was Doing 10 Years Ago

*Wow, 13. I was hiding. Drowning in arms that were too long, feet and hands that were too big, and braces. Ugh.

*I'd just started dancing at a horribly new dance studio that taught me nothing, except that I needed to find another studio if I wanted to keep doing it.

*If I remember correctly, I was raising, about to raise, or had just sent back, my Guide Dog puppy. It's too late to figure out which.

*Was this the Spice Girls era? I shudder.....

*I've blocked this age out of my memory, if you couldn't tell. I'm scrounging. I really really really hated junior high. Loathed. Couldn't wait to escape it.

5 Things On My To-Do List Today

*Organize Caleb's closet and drawers. They're stuffed to the brim of clothes he doesn't wear. I swear I've talked about this already.....

*Find a freaking couch that we like and can afford. It's impossible.

*Transfer and decorate our new big bookshelf. All hail Ikea!

*Transform our home into something my style. Something I love. Something I'm proud of. Something.....not......THIS.

*Decide what I want to be when I grow up. Among other things.

5 Snacks I Enjoy

*Granny Smith apples with Adam's crunchy peanut butter. Heaven.

*Blueberries, cherries, raspberries, strawberries, watermelon, pineapple, banana's (only if they're still green), lychee's......and any other fruit. Till I'm brimming with it.

* A Laughing Cow Lite Garlic & Herb cheese triangle slathered onto 5 Ritz Crackers.

*Chocolate covered sunflower seeds from Trader Joe's.

*I LOVE dipping little red, yellow, and orange peppers into some lovely little sauce. Mmm....

5 Songs I Know the Lyrics To

*Almost all the Dave Matthews Band songs. He is The King, after all. How do you even pick a favorite though? It's impossible really, but I've always loved the good 'ole classic, Ants Marching.

*Man In the Mirror by Michael Jackson. How can you NOT love this song? Caleb!? I'm talking to you!

*Promise by Eve6. Ah, junior year. How I loved thee.

*Nearly all of the Dixie Chick's songs as mandated, because I am a Female. Our girl children will soon be born with this knowledge, singing along in their cribs. "Cause Earl had to die...."

That's a little creepy.

*Missy Higgins anyone? Well, she's a little Aussie girl I came to love in...Australia. Duh. Most famous for her song, "Scar". The Aussie version is better than the one they're touting around here in the States. Just so you know.

5 Things I Would Do If I were A Millionaire

I'm assuming it means all of a sudden. And because this is imaginary, I'm going to assume by millionaire it means more than one million....because I can. That's called IMAGINING.

*Buy a house here in La Silicon Valley. So that when we sell it to move back to Utah we could put cash down on the Utah house and have enough left over to travel Europe. For a month.

*Invest! Invest! I'm like a little chipmunk, keeping nuts in my ginormous cheek pockets for later. It helps me breathe.

*Take Caleb to Australia, show him all around Sydney, and then go explore the places I didn't get to see. Like Ayers Rock.

*Find a little deserted island in the Caribbean, buy it, and build one fantabulous resort. Then I would charge A-List celebrities a ridiculous fee to stay the night. Richard Branson ain't got nuthin' on me....

*I've always wanted a cabin or vacation home somewhere. Like the Poconos. Or Hawaii. Or Italy, I suppose I could handle that, too.

5 Bad Habits

*I People Watch. A lot. Which is a lovely aesthetic term for staring. I can't help it, people are fascinating.

*I always forget a load in the washer. Sometimes for days, long enough that the clothes start smelling funny....so I have to wash them again. WASTEFUL, I tell you.

*I check the internet way. too. often.

*I am my own worst critic.

*When I'm concentrating I fiddle with my cuticles, and they are in desperate need of an intervention.

5 Things I'd Never Wear Again

*Can anyone say matching sweaters with stirrup pants?!

*Those hideous glitter and puffy glue shirts.

*A perm. Ugh.

*Remember those accordion shirts? The ones that look like they were made for dolls, but then stretch out to your size? WHAT WERE WE THINKING?! Yes, can I please get one of those shirts that add two inches to my waist? Thank you.......

*Fabric hair scrunchies.

5 Favorite Toys

Toys? Like, now? Alright....

*My (alright...our...) camera. Totally worth the price tag.

*My (alright...our...) laptop. See above bad habit...

*The DVR. Best invention EVER.

*I really love my heart rate monitor / watch. Seriously. It's amazing.

*I've run out. Honestly. My tennis racket? Is that a toy?

4 Jobs I've Had

It'll have to be my four favorite jobs....

*Cold Stone Creamery. As sad as it is, I really loved working there. Best high school job ever, we had so much fun.

*Receptionist at my dad's engineering office. LOVED the people. Still do.

*Bridal Consultant at my uncle's (not my uncle....my mother's cousin...) famous bridal shop, Abbey Bridal (Maggie Sottero, anyone?) in downtown Sydney, Australia. If I could, I would STILL work there.

*Admin at the OSU Foundation in Oregon. Great people, amazing (read: FABULOUS) benefits. Lots of fun.

Notice that my current job isn't on the list? Hmmm.....

4 Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

*Moulin Rouge, love the music.

*Sense and Sensibility. Nothing to explain there.

*O Brother, Where Art Thou? Nothing beats the first time I watched it, but it always comes close...

*Stranger Than Fiction. Really loved that show.

4 Places I've Lived

*Good 'ole Bountiful, Utah. The Homeland.

*North Ryde, NSW, Australia. My own personal Real World.

*Albany, Or. Where the sun don't shine....hehehe......

*Silicon Valley, CA. Totally crazy, totally populated. So much to see and do. And the sun always shines.

4 Shows I Enjoy

*So You Think You Can Dance? Amazing. Love it. Miss it already.

*The Office. Love it.

*Divine Design (thanks Bridgette! I love it!)

*Lost. When does that start again?

4 Places I've Been On Vacation

Again, favorites....

*Lake Powell. #1, as always. My other home is my houseboat.

*Paris, France. We also visited Nice, Cannes, Monte Carlo and drove into Italy for the day. Amazing.

*Hawaii (Maui and Oahu). Ahhhhhh.............

*Melbourne & Cairns, Australia (and Sydney I suppose, though I was technically working and going to school...)

4 Favorite Restaurants

*Biaggi's Italian Restaurant. Where I finally gave in and fell in love with salmon again.

*Thea Mediterranean Restaurant - slightly expensive, but different and SO SO good. In fact, I could really go for that lemon soup right about now....

*Novak's Hungarian Restaurant. Owned by a little old Hungarian man and his wife, the man up front and seating people (he even pulled my chair out for me!) and the wife in the kitchen. Amazing. Seriously.

*P F Chang's. Mmmm........lettuce wraps....

Phew!!! And now to tag....wah ah ah...Kjersti, Bridgette, Jess, Trisha, Kelly, Lindsay, Shannon, Miranda, Em....okay, so if you're reading this? You're tagged. Now. Go and do.

Tyler, or, how I ruined his senior year

2007-08-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

Since our good friend Tyler is here, I thought I'd regale you with one of my favorite Tyler Stories.

Tyler is one of Caleb's best friends, and so in high school we'd hang out quite a bit. One of these times they decided that they were going to give Ty a buzz cut. They watched Ocean's 11 quite a bit. I sat on the toilet watching, since the closest I'd ever come to cutting hair was shaving my own leg, and I'll just go ahead and be presumptuous and assume that somehow that didn't qualify me. Caleb had however, so he quickly did his thing, and soon Tyler was all buzzed and stuff, feelin' pretty Brad Pitt-hot. Caleb handed me the shaver (buzzer? No...that's not right...) and instructed me to go trim his sideburns in the garage while he cleaned up the bathroom. "Uh........okay...." I stuttered, thinking surely that was something I could handle. But as I stared up at his sideburns, weapon in hand, well...I was a little nervous. I sucked it up though, turned it on, and......slipped. Slipped going UP, and using the wrong side. So he pretty much had a huge bald stripe going halfway up his head. A sideways, inverted mohawk. A landing strip for flies. It was disastrous. I don't think I've ever felt so embarrassed, so horrible, so......well, I wanted to crawl under my covers and stay there for a century or so. Tyler saw my face, and I can only imagine what he was feeling. The next few minutes were a blur, Caleb saw my butchering job and they decided they'd need to just shave the rest of his head that length. That's how bad it was. He literally looked like a cancer patient, bald, with just a glint of dark hair pushing it's way through. All I remember is Tyler saying that his mom was going to kill him, and me silently afraid she'd turn on me next.

It all turned out okay in the end, his hair grew back as hair tends to do, and Tyler decided he'd still be my friend, which was mighty big of him I think. But to this day, I still have to refer to him as the kid I butchered. "Oh, he's THAT kid....", or "OH! I remember that.....". And so on and so forth.

Most recently...

Mom: Who's going to buy your car, again?

Me: Tyler, Caleb's good friend? You know? The one that I shaved?

Mom: OH! Yeah, Tyler. He's a good kid, I like him.

Me: Yes, we do too.....

A change will do you good

2007-08-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

I had my hair cut today, super short.

Remind you of anyone? Hmm? Ringin' any bells?

Alright. If I must.

Okay, so I need to work on my pout. Loose a few....or 400...pounds. About three hours in the tanning bed, and win the lottery in four states. And even then, I could never pull off those glasses.

I'd been thinking about doing this for a while but was having a hard time finding a salon. Not that there is any shortage of beauty salons in the Silicon Valley, far from it actually, but I couldn't honestly believe how expensive it is to get a decent hair cut. I couldn't find anything under $55, and even then, those salons didn't have good reviews. Last night we took our lovely friend Tyler (who is visiting us from Utah and oh yeah, is buying our car that we haven't replaced yet.....OH, THIS SHOULD BE FUN) out to dinner at a fancy little mall near our home. Mall is really an operative word, it's more like a conglomeration of fancy restaurants, posh stores (eh? you like that?), and nothing within a 5 miles radius that any normal person can afford.

Anyway.

So while we were waiting for our table I popped into the Aveda salon to see if they had any openings in the next, oh, three weeks. "Actually, yes, we just had a cancellation, can you come in tomorrow afternoon?" COULD I? Ahem. Yes, that'll do.

I arrived on time apparently to wait 30 minutes while drinking ice water and reading an article on Ashley Olsen. Apparently this is protocol. Then a thin, black haired woman, a little reminiscent of Nelly Furtado, came and finally said she'd get to that whole cutting-my-hair business. Or whatever.

"Oh my gosh, I'm like, SO sorry. I've been like, color-correcting since like....ohmigosh, like, 9 this morning? Wait, today's Friday? Yeah, since like, 9 am."

Oh boy. This is going to be painful.

I showed her the pictures I'd printed off the internet, right side, left side, and back that explained exactly how to cut the hair. She took one look at it, and was like "Oh yeah, I know how to do that. I took a class." she said, though it only took a few seconds of her twirling my hair before she'd picked up the paper and started intently reading it. I tried to suppress my worry, I mean, she was a senior level hair stylist right? She knew what she was doing. Sure, maybe she's not the brightest of the bunch, but they wouldn't let her work there if she couldn't properly wield a pair of scissors. Right? RIGHT?!

I was right on both accounts. She knew how to cut hair, very well in fact, and was a total and complete ditz. Maybe I'm being too harsh, maybe I was just annoyed from the wait and her endless suggestions that this cut would look so much better with highlights. Have you ever thought of highlighting your hair? My hair used to be your exact color, but look! I dyed mine. If you highlight your hair, it would just like, totally make it pop, make it shinier, make it smoother. Totally look like, way better. Hey? Have you ever thought of dying your hair?

Needless to say, I won't be going back. I love it, but in her very own words, "Any stylist could like, totally do this cut." Well! Lovely! I shan't be back then! Toodles!

So she charged me an arm, a leg, my first born child, and all of my allowance. And then she asked for my credit card. Besides my car and plane tickets, it was the single most expensive item I've ever purchased for myself. The woman told me how much it would be and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head. I had an idea of course, knew it would be expensive, but I was just not expecting to hear that number. I might have nightmares.

I don't even want to think about what would have happened if I'd let her add highlights.

I'm feeling a little queasy, excuse me.

(Okay, quick! Look at the back! I like it.)

Belated goodbyes to our apartment complex

2007-08-06T23:34:00.001-07:00

To the staff: Goodbye. We will not miss your snooty (snotty!) ways. Nor will we miss your fake smiles. We will however, miss the hilarious pinched nasal sound of your robotic salutations: "Wel-come to (insert name here) Apartments." (No seriously, try it, pinch your nose and try it!)

To the one neighbor we talked to: Goodbye. We sometimes crossed paths at the gym. We found your student id and credit card on the bench downstairs and when we returned it you gave an exasperated "I've been LOOKING for those....", like they were nothing but a comfy pair of socks. Maybe a misplaced bookmark. You also left your bike chain in front of our door for a long time and one day I got so sick of seeing it I hung it from your door knob. Sorry about that.

To the man in the wife beater: We had our routine at the gym. You always, without fail, wore a white wife beater and always had a smile and hello for me, even at 6 am. You always watched the news while working out, the tv turned on very loudly. I didn't mind. You helped me figure out how to break the rules by unplugging the tv cord so that I didn't have to listen through my headphones. Thanks, it helped through the miles. You were also very nice and pretended not to notice when I'd suddenly hop off the treadmill and run to the bathroom - knowing, I'm sure, that when you're jogging and need to go? Well, there's just no tip-toeing around it. Thanks for that.

To the cute Indian family two doors from us: I fell head over heels in love with your little girl, she is the cutest baby I've ever seen. Sorry about that day Caleb and I ran into you and your parents at the elevator, that was a little awkward....

To the quirky man with the purse dog: You were weird. But I liked you. You let us crash your party in the rec room our first weekend there so that we could watch "The Office" since our tv wasn't hooked up, and turned it up full blast so that we could sort of hear it over your drunk friends. That was very cool of you.

To the gay man in the puffy white jacket: I don't know what to make of you, you didn't seem to have a job. You walked around the complex with your poofy little white dog at odd hours of the day, when I would exercise before work, in the middle of the day, and late at night. There was not one time that I saw you walking that you weren't picking your nose. Not once. You didn't drive on your own, at least not that I saw, always getting rides from an older couple that I can only assume is your parents. I hope you're enjoying that.

To the man who lived above us: You woke me up once in the middle of the night, screaming "I HATE MY LIFE!!!!" at the top of your lungs. Several times. It scared me more than I can say, I laid there, eyes wide open and heart pounding, for at least an hour after, trying to calm down. I hope you're getting some help.

To the odd couple with the black lab: Sorry we took Bear away from you, you seemed to have an odd love for him. Every time we were outside for more than five minutes you'd come running down so that your dog could play with Bear. Hopefully you've found a replacement.

To the maintenance / cleaner guy: You were the only nice staff person. Hopefully they treat you well, and if not? You can totally find a better job, one that doesn't require wiping down treadmills four times a day.

And to everyone else living there: There's much better out there. Trust us.

Score!

2007-08-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to re-vamp this place for a while now, and, well...it wasn't going well. Mostly because I have no idea what I'm doing. At all. Me don't know squat. In fact, I've been so frustrated with my lack of knowledge that I found myself looking up online degrees in......something about how to build your own website and learn all that silly HTML mumbo jumbo...or something.

I swear it was legitimate.

I started trying to come up with a masthead um, three or four months ago. I started late one night following some very vague directions I found online and then got frustrated, deleted most of it, and left it alone. I'd come back to it every week or so and made absolutely no progress, and almost deleted the whole thing once. I finally picked it back up this week and made it a goal to finish before the week was over. It's 11:56 pm on Saturday. Yeah for me!

I sat, cocking my head and admiring my (super hard!) work, and got a hankering to figure out the centering issue once and for all. I was going to do it! Yes! Go me! Actually, I just went to Beautiful Beta's forum (he'd helped me figure out how to add another sidebar and clean up my html) where I had posted my problem SEVERAL months ago to see if someone had answered my question out of the goodness of their heart. And lo! Someone had! Turns out I only needed to add TWO FREAKING LETTERS to the margin. Seriously. I tried it out, a little skeptical, and........it worked. Imagine that. Maybe I need to dig up that media degree web page again....

In other news, my Jamba Juice exploded all over me today. I was walking back to my car, my small Berry Fulfilling smoothie in hand, desperately trying to get something out of the straw. It wasn't having it. And deciding that some lovely little fruit chunk must be clogging the end, I blew into the straw to dislodge it and it literally exploded, the lid nearly flying off and a golf ball sized splatter landing smack dab on my new white shirt. Curse you, push-up bra. I played it cool though, continuing to my car, hearing the snickers from the punk-kids loitering outside. I'm so above that.

Luckily for me Target was near, so I slung my newly-favorite BIG purse strategically over my um, splatter, and quickly bought the nearest do-able shirt, begging the fitting room lady to please let me wear it out. "Oh, sure, you can do that, just make sure you pay for it." OHH!!!!! Is THAT how this whole store-thing works!! PHEW.

It's too bad I wasn't closer to the mall.....

Eat, Sleep, Drink it up

2007-08-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

After flipping through the photos from our most recent trip (see below), I think you'll see how fabulous it was. We had ourselves a really good time. Caleb tried out surfing and discovered that he really loved it. I hardly saw him at the beach and his skin is now about 12 shades darker. It looks like I've gone and run off with my Latin Lover. Or maybe just a regular beach bum. And me? This is the first year that I haven't wanted to go, go, go. I relaxed. A lot. And shopped, nearly as much. It was perfect.

OH! My gosh. The best part. We saw Wicked. You know, like Wicked, the Broadway play. And I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. It was absolutely positively the best play I've ever seen, and I've seen Phantom twice. I actually CRIED at the end of the first act, and it's not a sad play. Quite the opposite in fact, it was hilarious. It was just beautiful, and perfect, and wow. I need the music. And I need to see it again, and again. Apparently though, I've already missed the San Francisco performances which totally blows, and I've been trying to concoct a really fabulous reason to travel to um...Chicago....Philidelphia....New York...Hartford, CT.....or really, just back to LA. It's way past wanting now, it's a full blown need. Right up there with vacuum lines.

Oceanside, CA 2007

2007-08-01T21:50:00.001-07:00

Disaster, originally uploaded by dancingnancy_1.

You're going to want to see this one up REAL close-like.

Kwik-E-Mart!!!

2007-07-24T22:20:00.001-07:00

Kwik-E-Mart!!!, originally uploaded by dancingnancy_1.

Before we left on vacation we had to make a quick trip to the Kwik-E-Mart to pay our respects. It was beautiful. Heart-warming. They had donuts, Squishee's, Krusty-O's and Buzz Cola all for the taking. They'd just run out of the latter two before we arrived, so we settled on Blue Vanilla Squishee's, so sweet your teeth literally rotted right on the spot, and donuts covered in pink frosting, or rather, pink food coloring with a smidgen of sugar. Now, I'm not a donut fan by any means, can only barely stand the cake-like ones, but I took one for the team since they were of course, Simpson Donuts. Even only eating half a donut and a few swigs of Squishee, I think I consumed my entire week's worth of sugar.

Totally worth it. It was awesome.

It's all Michael's fault

2007-07-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

I don't think the drive down to Southern California could have been any crazier, except maybe if aliens had dropped down out of the sky and sucked our car up into their ship to perform various tests on our human form. Even then, I would have been drier.

We started off fairly late as far as long car rides go, leaving a little after 8 am. Bear was absolutely thrilled that he was going, his anxiety from the night before when he saw our suitcases, only a dream. We let him in the back seat of the car as we were loading and securing the house, and he stayed out there, doors open, until we were finished. There was no way he was going to budge out of that car, there's nothing he enjoys more than to come along with us everywhere we go. And he was coming, just not all the way. We usually leave him at the PetsMart Pethotel because it's the cheapest in the area and the first place he hasn't come home from looking like he'd just spent a week at fat camp. Eating nothing more than entire cups of air and big bowls of nothing. This time however, it was booked as was every other Pethotel in the area. So I hunted around and found one along the way, an hour north of where we're staying now. We'd just drop him off on the way! And because I am evil, I spent the entire car ride laughing at how he thought he was going along with us...Caleb didn't find it so funny.

A few hours into the car ride we ran into some traffic in some mountains (which ones you ask? I have no idea....). Part of the mountain had caught on fire and there were several trucks and even a helicopter fighting it. We were mostly at a standstill watching the fire blaze. One of these times we were stopped we sat and watched, deer in the headlights, as the woman in front of us backed up, and kept backing up, until she ran right into us. Lovely! I love car wrecks! So! Very! Much! We got her to pull over, which was an ordeal in and of itself, and she hurried out of the car, glanced at her back bumper and yelled "I'm fine!", headed back to her car and drove off. Great! Thanks! We're good too, in case you wondered. (Thankfully we were, bless the bumper.)

The next incident happened when we'd finally made it out of the traffic and found a little place to eat and fill up the car. It was pretty hot, so I stayed with the dog while Caleb went in, to let Bear go to the bathroom and stretch a little, so that maybe he wouldn't put his panting, death-mouth right next to my face. I really need to brush that dog's teeth.

Anyway, because Bear is neurotic, he spent most of the time on high alert, straining his neck, wishing it longer, to try to see inside the restaurant and keep an eye on Caleb. The mutt has some serious separation issues. Very serious. The moment he saw Caleb he freaked out, bouncing at the end of the leash, and put his foot directly into the large cow-pie sized pile of poo. I'm not kidding, that thing couldn't have come from anything smaller than a very fat cow. We used all the napkins we had to clean off his paw, even rubbed it with my antibacterial hand sanitizer. Thinking we had pretty much conquered the poo, we let him back into the car. Mucho grande mistake. Let me tell you, the stench was absolutely insane, and not your typical dog-poo smell (remember? Possibly cow?!). It was this sickly sweet smell, almost methane-like. It probably could have powered our car. I nearly lost the lunch I was about to eat. I had to pull out the hand sanitizer again and ended up using half of the bottle, rubbing it all over his bed in the back seat. Mmm....lunch......

Fast forward twenty minutes, and we're smack dab in the middle of L.A. traffic. Think speeding, followed by quick stopping ("fast, slow, fast fast slow...."). One of these times, Caleb had to slam on his breaks and reached his hand over to hold me back at the exact moment I'd picked up my still very full drink, spilling every single ounce of it in my lap. I was swimming in Diet Coke and ice. I was so wet, and we'd used every napkin we'd had on the Bear Poop-Foot Incident, that I had to mop up the seat using my very soaked pajama pants, and spent the next hour of the car ride in my underwear, attempting to dry my pants on the dashboard.

It was perfect timing, almost too perfect. Very suspicious. Caleb giggled a little too hard. Too much. My guess? Payback for making him listen to my old CD mixes, turning up "Man in the Mirror" a little too loud. The fake mic probably didn't help either.

Man, I love road trips.

On Ethics

2007-07-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

Discussing "Before He Cheats", by Carrie Underwood while driving down to So-Cal (such a Cali phrase...):

Caleb: The music video is so lame, it could have been much better.

Me: How? If she'd been naked?

Caleb: No! Well, of course it would be better, everything's better when you're naked. She could be auditing me while naked and I'd still enjoy it.....

Long pause, and a small smile creeps across his face...

Caleb: Wait, what were we talking about?

Catching Up: Lake Powell

2007-07-19T22:55:00.001-07:00

And....actually....I don't know who that is...never seen 'im...., originally uploaded by dancingnancy_1.

You see this and wonder what in the world could possibly possess anyone so completely that they would feel the need to make such ridiculous facial expressions. And you'd have a valid point, except that you don't know that he's at Lake Powell. And if you been to Lake Powell, then this makes perfect sense. The sheer joy of being in such a beautiful place where you wake and sleep with the sun, lounge around for hours at a time, or enjoy a wide array of water sports, can be quite overwhelming. It's too perfect. And this right here is that feeling captured. I Heart Lake Powell. And you should too.

(Click on the pic to see a small sampling of our 4,594 Lake Powell pics)

Cigar and a Coke?

2007-07-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

It appears it is physically impossible for me to blog for two days straight. And the sad part is that since I haven't been regularly blogging I've got all these ideas for posts stored up in my head, but just like my DVR box, they keep getting deleted as new ones eek their way into my grey matter. So I just end up posting about the house again. I just realized I haven't even posted Lake Powell pictures, and that was AGES ago. I also haven't posted 4th of July pictures, or pictures of my friend's wedding, and we're about to go on Family Vacation #349, a week in Oceanside, CA, or rather, 7 days of Moss Family Fun, 60 Strong. We're petitioning to become our own state.

My goal before we leave this Saturday is to catch up here, and maybe even throw in a few well-thought-out posts, which would be a lovely change, wouldn't it? It just seems that we've been so caught up in making our new home livable, that all we do is work, come home, work, take a break to hang out with our friends (while we all talk about the work we should be doing on our homes), go to bed late, and then wake up again to start all over. I don't remember what it's like to get a decent night's sleep, it's honestly been ages. And I am well aware that this is the time to be "stocking up" for the years and years of no sleep when kids come into the picture. But before I continue on, whining about the no-sleep, the endless work, the slacking of the blog posting, I'm just going to shut up and post a few random shots in hopes of saving this lackluster post.

................................

.............. . . . . . . . .. .

And that's where my laptop ran out of juice and I was too tired to walk the two feet across the room to plug in the cord. So I went to bed. And that pretty much sums up the last few weeks, doesn't it?

And since this is pretty much the rambling type of post, here's a little story for you. As Caleb and I were cleaning the house we discovered a "hidden" drawer in our dining room. I guess hidden isn't the right word here, more like there wasn't a handle and the hole had been spackled over. We pulled out the drawers so that I could properly clean / disinfect them before I filled them, and found this:

That would be one book, "An Actor Prepares", two maps of Florida, two cigars, one deck of cards, one bag of batteries, and one....olive oil holder? So I've pretty much discerned that these people were fledgling actors who played cards by the light of their cigars each night, drinking entire grape-shaped glasses of olive oil, convinced it would soften their vocal cords, while dreaming of one day making it big in Florida. And the batteries? Well....maybe they were saving up for their battery powered car. Very environmentally aware.

And now, I give you....Caleb's favorite part of the house.....

This little gem is mounted on the wall of our utility room, connecting the kitchen to our backyard. Either the owners were enthusiastic Coke drinkers or The House is pushing it's beverage-of-choice agenda. I don't know about you, but I'm feelin' the itch....

In which I channel "Supermarket Sweep"

2007-07-11T23:20:00.000-07:00

It's been three days since Caleb has been away and I think it's safe to say that things are going better than I'd expected. Bear only spent one evening prostrate in front of the front door waiting for him, and I've managed to only have cereal for three meals. I'm afraid to say that my progress on the house however, is excrutiatingly slow. I do have a rather large Goodwill pile, which would be great except for that I now own 3.5 shirts. And half of them are in the wash.

In an attempt to have something to show for myself, I am planning a trip to Ikea tomorrow, which right now is akin to grocery shopping while hungry. This could get interesting. I could make a list, that might help, I try to be a stick-to-the-list type of girl. However, I am also a very skilled rationalizer, and sometimes just forget altogether what we do or don't have. This is why I sometimes come home from the grocery store with 10 different kinds of juice when we already have four in the freezer. And also why I forget the important items on my list (like eggs! Mental note! We are out of eggs!). My Ikea list so far is this;

1. Floor cabinet for the bathroom - MUST MUST MUST. The floor is a very inhospitable place for make up and hair products.

2. Closet storage items, another bar, shoe racks etc. Our closets couldn't fit Ghandi's wardrobe.

3. We really really really really really need a new couch. It is wishful thinking to hope to find one at Ikea, but I am a dreamer.

4. A moping bucket. Because I have 1,100 square feet of hardwood floor in dire need of a good mop.

5. I am desperate for one of those dog food Rubbermaid containers. I would like to be able to walk into my washroom / little-area-that-leads-to-our-backyard without dry heaving.

6. Caleb will kill me for admitting it, but he really wants one of those head-to-toe mirrors for our bedroom so that he can do his hair-walk, smooth his shirt routine before heading off to work. Remind me to capture that sometime, it really is a sight to be seen.

7. We have zero ice cubes in our home. Nada. Zilch. We need ice cube trays.

8. A new shower curtain, which is going to be more difficult than it should be. It needs to be at least 82" in length, long enough to wrap nearly all the way around our tub. That's a good 10 inches longer than your average shower curtain. And I'd REALLY love for it to not have big purple dinosaurs or something. I have a nightmare that it's all we're going to find.

9. About nine gajillion rugs.

10. A dozen other small items. Curtains, a coat hanger, mail organizer. A few larger ones as well. A headboard, fireplace cover, another dresser.

So with my track record, I'll come home with three of these items and about ten others not on the list. Like art, a new lamp, or salad tongs. I've been married for two years and have yet to pick up a proper pair of salad tongs. Which of course, is the measure of success as a wife. Everyone knows that.

It's possible that I am going to need a small truck. Or a good dose of restraint.

Settling in....

2007-07-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

Wow. We did it. We moved in two days. Two evenings, excuse me. Packing that quickly went against my very nature, it hurt my heart to grab handfuls of clothes in my closet and fling them into a box. Not even FOLDED for heavens sake. It happened so fast, the move I mean, that even now, Sunday, I still can't believe we're here. It feels like we've gone on vacation (the most horrible vacation EVER...) and that in just a few days we'll head back. It's so nice to be in our own place though, a home with a backyard to chuck the mutt out into, a home where we don't have to figure out the logistics of getting three tons of groceries up three stories in one trip (trips to Costco were always a challenge....), an extra bedroom, more storage.

We've spent the last few days sorting through our boxes and cleaning up. Actually, I spent all yesterday on just the kitchen alone. As I said, this home was built in 1921 (I've said that, right?) and then was remodeled 14 years ago, but I doubt anyone has done more than dusting and mopping since. I spent an entire evening just washing the cupboards. Then I made the mistake of washing a portion of the wall, revealing it's at least three shades whiter than we'd thought. I'd been afraid of that, secretly hoping that whoever lived here before us was as OCD as I am. Wishful thinking, I know.

Caleb has spent a lot of time working on "guy" things, fixing the gate in the backyard, installing the worlds most complicated window air conditioner (we're fully embracing the white-trashness of that, just greatful that our home is now at a hospitable temperature...), and just yesterday, cleaning out the fireplace, layers and layers of caked on ash. It looks much better, but I think we're going to have to get a proper chimney sweep in to clean it all out. While I love the charm of an old fashioned wood burning fireplace, I'd like to not smell like I'd just rolled in one.

Bear on the other hand, isn't so sure about this new place. He loves the backyard, will lay out in the grass for hours. He just doesn't quite know what to do with himself when indoors. He'll follow us around everywhere, as if he's waiting for us to tell him what to do. He's doing much better though, much better than while we were moving. He was absolutely positively WIGGING out, whining and frantic, trying anything to squeeze out the door to be with us as we took boxes out. I finally found some sedatives we'd had for when we'd flown with him, and that REALLY helped, I highly reccomend them. Twenty minutes after giving it to him he was droopy, red-eyed and totally calm. I loved it. (I suppose it's like slipping a little Benadryl into the kiddies drinks? It's for their own good, right?) Yesterday he experienced his first squirrel in his very own yard and went nuts, waiting at the base for it to come down. When we finally made him come in he kept whining to be let out again.

We're not nearly done with it all, which is great, because Caleb is leaving tomorrow for the week to go work in the Oregon territory. Leaving me here all alone (guilt trip! guilt trip!) to finish cleaning and unpacking. Actually, I think he's even feeling a little guilty himself about it, and has been leaving me all sorts of instructions about sleeping with the outside lights on, not going out after dark, and keeping all the windows shut at night. And just now he sprayed the outside of the house with this perimeter bug spray, which is supposed to keep all those nasty creepy crawlies outside. I'm well protected. I hope. The other night as I was cleaning the kitchen I encountered a rather large black spider. I decided to be brave and kill it myself, since Caleb was busy trying his hardest not to swear at the air conditioner in the next room. I wadded up several paper towels and went for it, missing of course, and it ran over my hands and fell onto the counter. The shrill scream that came out of me was completely involuntary, and something I don't think I've ever done before. My ears were ringing. Caleb must have figured it was nothing, since he didn't even bother to ask what had happened, or maybe he was too involved in his mumbling. Bear on the other hand was on full alert, barking and whining at me. At least I know if something happens he'll at least act concerned? He certainly is no good at protecting me against intruders...

Anyway, here are a few pictures of our place, at least the parts we've managed to unload and clean....

White picket fence needs some lovin'.....

Certifiably

2007-07-03T00:14:00.000-07:00

Oh, let me tell you, the trip home was WONDERFUL. Hung out with the fam, saw nearly all of my friends, went shopping, had a pedicure (first one since my wedding TWO YEARS AGO, IT WAS HIGH TIME!) had a lovely time at the wedding, bla bla bla. I'll post pictures soon I swear, just as soon as I post pictures from Lake Powell, which I also swear to do. Sometime soon. I swear.

The real news though, is that we got the house! On Friday! Because Caleb is an amazingly smooth talker who convinced the owners to screw the open house and just give it to us. That was Friday, and we scrambled to fill out the application before someone else snatched it up. My family doesn't own a fax or scanner, so I drove around town trying to find someone who did. I tried Alphagraphics, a local printing company, but apparently scanning OR faxing was too difficult a task, much too complicated. I should have known it would have been a bust, there were no cars in the parking lot. First indication of a failing business. Next I tried FedEx / Kinko's and got to speak to three different high school students, none of which knew a thing about scanning a document. "Oh, scanning.........right..........um..........let me go get Rocky......." Yes, please do. And while you're at it, maybe you could spit out that wad of Bubble-Yum? Maybe? Thanks.

Anyway, we got the home. And.........we move on Wednesday. I got home late Sunday night. So let's see, that leaves us two days to pack up, change / close / get our new utilities. Oh, and neither of us can take any time off of work. So that's two evenings. And just in case you forgot, Wednesday also happens to be our nation's birthday. A national holiday. A day in which no one works. Are we crazy? Perhaps.

Oh, alright, we're completely and utterly insane. Moving? In two days?!

Surprisingly, we made a lot of progress tonight. We've got everything but our clothes and bathroom essentials loving wrapped and boxed. Bear is officially wigging out, with Caleb and I not far behind. Need proof? Well then, proof I have!

Today I picked Caleb up at work for lunch so we could come home and figure out all the logistics of this crazy move. We parked my car outside and got about halfway to the door before Caleb said ".....Kim? Where's my car?" We quickly scanned the parking lot, not seeing it. "Kim?! Where is my car?!" I sighed, rolled my eyes and steeled myself for what I knew would follow, you call the cops, they come over, do nothing, and then we wait a few days to find out that it's across town, totally stripped. Caleb has a horrible track record with his cars, having had them either broken into or stolen 9 times in the last 7 or so years. Cabe pulled his cell phone out and started to dial the police as he said, "I saw it this morning when I..........", and then my brain slowly started working. Yes, he saw it that morning, as he drove it to work. His car was at his office. I had picked him up, only moments before. We had officially lost our minds.

Speaking of which, I'd better get some sleep before I'm rendered completely useless tomorrow. Despite all the craziness, I am so excited to rent this beautiful home. I still can't quite believe we have it, that I don't have to check craigslist every 30 seconds for new listings. That we actually got the home we wanted! Everything has just fallen into place, which further confirms how right this is for us. I can't wait to show you all, it's absolutely adorable.

Our internet is being turned off tomorrow, so I may not be back on for a few days. Until then, here is my new haircut. Thank you Dayvid! Love it!

I had no idea my mom was taking this picture, and neither did she. I was about two seconds away from giving her some instructions on how to take it, and then we heard the click. Hence my stone-face. I post this one because the other picture she took had the flash on, and she was looking flustered enough as it was, holding such a monstrous camera, that "Will you please hold down the flash?" seemed a bit too much to ask. You love it.

Something to ponder as I board my plane...

2007-06-28T13:02:00.000-07:00

A security systems tech was servicing our friend's home yesterday, and when asked about what he thought of his recent trip to Utah he immediately exclaimed his surprise at how dry it was there, how his lips were chapped and it was hard to breathe, and then added:

"You have all these crusty boogers and you're always picking them out!"

Which is not exactly the first thing I think of when I think of Utah. Actually, I don't think I've ever thought of that before, but everybody's different. We all have our hang ups, and apparently this man is very concerned about his boogers. As he should be, the man was 7 feet tall weighing it at about, oh, 120 lbs. His nose was the widest part of his body.

Utah: Crusty Booger Land. All hail.

Oh, hi.

2007-06-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

Hello. My name is Kim. I......have been gone. I'd mentioned that. I just didn't know I was going to be gone for so long. I didn't know I'd go into a post-Lake Powell depression. You know, the vacation let down. This one was worse for some reason, demanding much worse than just no-pants. Something to the affect of an hour-long "ugly cry" in a molten lava bubble bath. It wasn't pretty.

Lake Powell itself was amazing, exactly what I'd needed, a week of lounging. We have a gajillion pictures, over 400 to be exact, and I've been working on fixing them up a bit to post, and hope to be doing that in the next few days.

On the bright side, because isn't this post just a peach, we've found a home to rent that we LOVE. LOVE LOVE LOVE. It's in the area that we want, it's a good size for us, (not too big, not too small, Goldilocks) it has a backyard for the mutt, it's on a GORGEOUS street, it's still close to work, it's super charming......I could go on. And this is me trying not to get too excited, we still don't have it yet. We saw it on Monday, fell head over heels in love, and immediately began, well, groveling. I swear in the course of the day we'd sent the guy four or five emails from each of us. We heard nothing until the end of the day Tuesday, and by that time we were heading over there to talk to the neighbors, try to get a phone number or something. The owner apologized (as well he should, I don't think my stomach could have handled another day...), said he'd been out of town on business and he'd have his "associate" get in touch with us. We were over the moon, until that is, we didn't hear anything that day, or today. This morning Caleb slipped a note in their front door, like a love sick teenager. We are not proud of this. But the housing market in the Bay Area is crazy. Like, insane. If you like something you have to jump on it like it's the last lifeboat. The last piece of chocolate. The last.....Mohican? I've never seen that show, but I'm sure that it applies here, right? Finally, FINALLY, Mr. Associate called us back today (I say us because he literally called both of us, separately, because of the heretofore mentioned badgering we did....) to inform us of the open house this Saturday. Which works perfect right, because I'll be in Utah for a friend's wedding.

Right.

On that note, I'm back on a plane tomorrow as I said, to see my friend get married. It's such a hard life, getting to go home so often. :) That, bytheway, is another story. Caleb? Thank you. You love me, you really love me.

Running on empty

2007-06-09T01:10:00.000-07:00

I'm posting to acknowledge that I haven't been posting lately, and also to inform you all that I will not be posting until at LEAST next Saturday, as I am going on vacation to The Best Place On Earth, maybe you have heard of it, it's called Lake Powell. My family has a houseboat and we've been going every year since I was 7 or 8. I am not sick of it, couldn't possibly ever be. It's gorgeous for one, deep red rocks, red sand, cool water. It's impossibly cheap, around $150 per person for food, shelter and entertainment for a week. It's ridiculously relaxing, there is no cell phone service, no Internet, no television (we were actually in Lake Powell over 9/11 and didn't have any clue until the next day as we were driving home). Your biggest decision is whether or not to eat a blueberry muffin or a bagel for breakfast. And I promise to take a gazillion pictures to prove it. I Heart Lake Powell.

I am sooooooooo in need of this vacation - this past month has been insane at work for both Caleb and I. We've been so busy, so crazy. I haven't cleaned the apartment in a week and a half and people, THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING. The only time we're actually home is when we're either getting ready to get into bed, or getting ready to leave for work. The dog is in a permanent sulk. Hopefully a week of fellow-puppy-lovin' at the local Petsmart Hotel will cheer him up. It better, because I can't handle a sullen dog any longer, he is either staring at me with his woeful eyes, or has his cold nose pressed into my knee. I feel two clicks away from a "Snapped" episode.

In other news, the house-for-rent search is proving to be more difficult than we had hoped for. We saw a real piece of work the other day, a cesspool of liquor bottles, half eaten pizza, and piles of junk. I am hoping for a miracle, a nice charming two bedroom conveniently located near the Rose Garden. That allows mutts. I had no idea this was asking for too much.

I am rambling, and I realize this. But it's 1:23 in the morning. I am allowed.

Instead of staying home tonight and packing, or doing laundry, or paying the bills, or even catching up on "So You Think You Can Dance", I let Caleb talk me into going to see "Oceans 13". Not a smart move on our part since it didn't let out until midnight, but it was WORTH EVERY MINUTE. Better than the first in my opinion, and MY is that Brad Pitt lookin' hot these days, wouldn'tyasay? Seriously, go see that movie. It's lovely.

Ya'll enjoy the week, I've got to go dig for swimsuits, and maybe catch a few minutes of sleep before the alarm blares... While I am away, please do go click around on my Daily Dose and my list of Long Distance People Watching. They all have wonderful things to say.

Fixation and The Freak Eye

2007-06-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

Last Friday one of the people I work with shoved 4 tickets to the San Jose Saber Cats Arena Football Game ("You sir, are a mouthful!") into my hands. To be honest, until that moment I had absolutely no idea that it even existed, but I played along that I did. "Arena Football eh? Hmm.....That's cool....Sure....." I took the tickets anyway and invited the only people we know here. :) Good thing they're our friends, right? Cause that would suck...

We walked into the arena and the ushers ushered us (ahahahaha.....) to our seats, which turned out to be on the third row at the touchdown line. We were pleasantly surprised.

Indoor Football. In all it's glory. And indoorness.

There's nothing surprising about it, there's a loudspeaker, the crazed fans, the jumbo-tron, the cowbells, the cannonthatgoesoffeverytimethehometeamscores.....Very enjoyable, Owen however, was a little unsure of all the NOISE. And the LIGHTS. And all those PEOPLE.

This is the face that he made the WHOLE ENTIRE TIME. Honestly. A little worried, a little apprehensive, a little....interested? We couldn't figure it out. I've never seen him so still, so quiet. He didn't want to be anywhere but molded into his mom. But what was he looking at, you ask?

Voila. Cheerleaders. Starting early, maybe?

Maybe you don't believe me, maybe you feel you need proof?

Oh, I have proof people.

Eh? Eh? Same open eyes, slightly open mouth, tongue resting on the lips....

This happened for .3 seconds after much poking, prodding, face-making, and tickling. It lasted another .5 seconds....

Here are a few fancy pics Cabe took:

This dude sat in front of us sporting a VERY large ring....Superbowl Ring? Anyone know who this is? I spent the evening wondering....and um, peaking over shoulders to get a better look...

And because you all were waiting for it, Freak Eye visits the Saber Cats.

Festivities

2007-06-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

Now that our friends have moved down, you might start to see a theme. A gratuitous posting-of-the-baby. I'm sure you'll enjoy it, he happens to be highly adorable. So this is how we started the Memorial Day Weekend:

The Monkey, makes for expert crawling

Do you see this?! It's incredible. I need to get me one of these.

On Saturday we helped this little guy's parents paint two rooms in their new house. It was an urgent matter, a matter of extreme importance.

I'm not kidding. And sadly, it doesn't end there....

It was horrific. It looked like Flickr had puked all over the walls.

As hard as I tried, I could not stop talking about how BLUE and PINK these rooms were. It was like the burning of my retinas was triggering some chemical reaction between my brain and my mouth. I couldn't stop spewing incredulous exclamations. "Who in their RIGHT MIND?!", and all that. I'm sure you understand.

A boy, a ball, and his Bear Chair. For good measure.

On Memorial Day we celebrated those who died fighting for our country by grocery shopping, cooking, and barbecuing. The usual.

The spread

The scenery

And lots of fun.

God Bless America.

Mi Casa?

2007-06-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

I didn't mean to disappear. It just sort of happened, it's been fairly crazy around here and I suppose I just sort of burnt out. One minute I was waking up for work, groggy-eyed and stumbling, and the next minute I was getting into bed, groggy-eyed and stumbling. Somewhere in between there I went to work and stuff. And a whole weekend ago was Memorial Day, which feels like ages really. I'll post some pictures of that, it was good times. We got up close and personal with the colors of Flickr.

But what really did me in this week all started on Sunday. I've spent the last month or so scouring craigslist for a little home to rent, somewhere to hang our hat and let the dog out with nothing more than a flick of the wrist. I found one on Sunday that we decided to check out, it was just down the street and it was a home. All by itself. No one living above or below, and at LEAST 10 feet on either side. It had a backyard. So we were pretty much sold. We called the woman and went to see it the next morning where I immediately fell in love. The home was built in 1939 and there is very little that has changed. It smelled like my grandmothers home, and I breathed deeply as we explored. The stove is an original and everything is white. White walls, white tile kitchen, white book shelves, white bathroom fixtures. There are so many closets and built in shelves we could store everything we own AND everything you own, and still have enough space for daily trips to Costco. There is an old fashioned storm cellar in the back, the kind with stairs leading down under the house for MORE storage. The side of the house has a lemon and orange tree. It had me at hello.

We deliberated at home for about 20 minutes before I started scrambling to fill out the application and turn it in. That was Monday.

Tuesday morning I woke up with an intense desire to restore it, visions of clawfoot tubs in my head. Old hardwood floors, those tiny square bathroom tiles. I began researching 1940's home decor. I found a clawfoot tub retailer online, the perfect white cutout curtains to hang.

By Wednesday I was imagining myself living there, where our furniture would go, which books to place where. "We're going to have to install an outdoor light on the side of the house," I told Caleb, "and I'm totally going to put an herb garden in the back."

On Thursday we were told that they were going to give it to someone else, someone who could move in immediately (our lease is up July 1st). I cried. Someone had stolen my dream home right out from under me.

This morning I cried. My house! It was gone! I will not be making homemade lemonade from the lemons I picked in my own yard. I would not be taking hot bubble baths in my own clawfoot tub. And this would have looked amazing on those white walls.

I realize that this is certainly not something I should be so upset about. It certainly had it's down sides, there was no dishwasher, no air conditioning. The washer and dryer was on it's last leg and was on my list of Things That Must Go. It's just that I've never fallen in love with something so quickly, have something root itself so strong. (Except for that huge crush I had once, but there were other reasons for that as well....) But it's hardly the end of the world. I will go on. There will be another home, another kitchen to bake ginger snaps in. I'm sure we can find another backyard with such a gorgeous deeply rooted tree.

Excuse me, I need a tissue.....

Ahem. No big deal. I'm over it. So it's back to the drawing board again. This time though, we've got less than a month to find a place, pack, and move in. This should get interesting.

8 Crazy Things

2007-05-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Bethany to expose 8 little unknown things to you all. It's been a few days, because, well, it's hard to come up with anything interesting to say besides "Hey guys, I have a secret love for Cadbury's chocolate eggs. I dream in pastels at Easter."

Though these might not be any more interesting than that.

1. I can ride a unicycle. I learned in high school while on the dance team, we'd ride in the parade our city puts on every 24th of July (the day the pioneers made it to the Utah valley). We spent four hours every day in the summer riding those things, until we were so saddle sore we actually had SORES. Open wounds. In fact, some of the girls had GENIUS ideas to put maxi pads on the seats for some extra cushion. That first year we had a "retreat", basically hell practices for three days. We danced in the hot sun and rode our unicycles up insanely steep hills. I can still ride. I still think about it every once in a while, and have made a mental note to get it from my parents garage the next time I'm home. It's the only interesting talent I have.

2. As I've mentioned before, I danced in the closing ceremony for the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. I rubbed shoulders with some celebrities, enjoyed the wonderful spirit of camaraderie, all while wearing a lovely black one piece suit and ski mask.

3. I hate beans. Black, pinto, refried, garbanzo, string, white, blue, purple. You name it. Just thinking about them gives me the heevies. My friends all know this and continually tease me for the one time I "flipped out" when I found a refried bean in my tostada salad. I didn't flip out, I just dry-heaved a little. Refried are the worst of the little devils. Oh, but I do enjoy edamame. I enjoy that very much.

4. When I was in sixth grade the local 4-H Guide Dog chapter came to my school and put on a presentation. It ignited a little fire inside of me that worked it's way in and through every little cell of my body until one day it randomly decided to make it's way out. I began my quest to become a guide dog handler, (puppy walker? Since when did they start calling it that?) despite the fact that my parents had made it very clear to me that we wouldn't be getting a dog. I begged. I pleaded. I wrote letters. I begged some more. I went to guide dog meetings every Monday night for a year, trying to prove my responsibility. One glorious day my dad sat me down and told me that I could either get a small dog to keep, or become a guide dog handler, which of course, meant I'd have to give up the dog after a year and half to continue on to the program. Of course you know what I chose. It was the best year of my life, followed by the hardest good bye in all of my 15 years. Bellam, my dog, made it all the way to the end of the program before he was dropped because of his chronic ear infections. They always offer the dropped dogs back to their puppy handlers, but because of my new baby sister my parents wouldn't let me keep him. He now lives somewhere in Oregon with a lovely man who takes him on mile long walks in the mountains or on the beach every day. I still miss him.

5. I seem to have an affinity for passing out. The first time I did it was in front of a few hundred people while giving a talk in church. Once on purpose at a party in junior high because it was the new "it" thing to do. I passed out in a P.F. Changs at rush hour, once while giving blood at my university, once while getting four stitches on my finger, once in the bathroom of our little apartment in Albany in front of my new husband who had never before seen someone do so. Just to name a few.

6. I've mentioned this before as well, but it's still new to me. I'm more aware of it now and so is Caleb. "What were you just thinking? You were tapping your feet.....were you counting again? What were you counting? Come on! Tell me!"

7. I think. A lot. I imagine scenarios in my head while I'm getting dressed in the morning, happy ones, sad ones, crazy ones. I imagine what my life would perhaps be like if I had made one minor little change here or there. I imagine what it would be like to get in a car wreck, spend a week in the hospital. I imagine what it will be like to have baby, how long it will take before the newness wears off and I'm fondly thinking back to the "easy days" before him / her. I imagine what those first moments will be like when I see him / her, after nine months of wondering. I imagine what it would be like to save someone, to have to use my CPR skills. I try to imagine how frightening it would be to choke on something. I imagine what I would be doing right now if I weren't married. If I'd be living on my own or with my parents. If I would be a nurse by now. If I would still be working as a receptionist at my dad's office. If I would be wishing to be married. If I would still be starving myself. I imagine what it would be like to lose a loved one, my parents, even Caleb. Sometimes I wonder those things at night, imagine what I would do, if I would melt into a puddle and not get out of bed for days. I imagine people trying to comfort me, how terrible it would be. Those nights I usually end up bawling and waking up Caleb and telling him that I'm going to die first.

Twisted, I know. I can't help it, my mind runs a million miles an hour. It's bound to land on the horrible stuff every once in a while.

8. I have always wanted to be an actress, a model, a singer, something, though I have zero skills in those areas. I secretly hope that one day a talent scout will tap my shoulder as I'm fingering through the clothes in a department store and ask me if I have an agent. I'll say no, and tell me that he'd love to be mine, as he thinks I have potential. And since this is my perfect world, I end up doing it on the side, appearing in magazines but still managing to have a normal life raising my children.

A girl can dream, right?

(And now I'm supposed to tag other people right? I don't know very many people on the internet, so let's just say if you're reading this you've been tagged. And let me know too, cause I'd love to read them!)

Black Lining....

2007-05-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

It's finally here....

I'd say it's a good enough reason to play hooky right? Start the loooooooong weekend off right?

Oprah instills the fear....

2007-05-23T11:11:00.000-07:00

Before leaving work today I gave Caleb a hug while he was on a conference call, and he put his hand over the mouth piece and said:

"Bye, I love you. I don't have worms."

And I swear to you, the first thing that popped into my head was that line from Princess Bride, "Her final words were.....".

Mental note: Never leave someone with the image of your innards floating around in their brain. Leave them with thoughts of your undying love, your deep gratitude, or at the very least, kittens and puppies. Never your innards.

Sunday Priorities

2007-05-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

Aw, cute right? Taking a Sunday nap together.....

In reality they're just guarding their most prized possessions....

Zoinks!!

2007-05-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

Big thanks to Em for the lovely treats she sent Bear this week as part of her Calculated Acts of Kindness! As soon as I released him the treat disappeared, I've never seen him inhale something so quickly. Ever. Em, Bear is eternally yours! (And I'll keep you updated on my end of the bargain!)

She also sent along a little rawhide mocassin which fit him perfectly....

As you can see, he's a bit of a priss. But never more than when he gets his fur "done". Don't let his dejected face fool you, inside he's leaping with joy....

He is a completely different dog when he's shaved. Lighter, with a spring in his step. I think deep down he's a nudist, he'd just never admit it.

Girl! Coming through!

2007-05-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

The month of May at the office I work for is lovingly entitled "The Month of Hell" because of the many major events taking place every weekend. I've been gearing up a large golf tournament which proved to be interesting, as I know next to nothing about golf. I know that my dad plays several times a week, I know that you have to hit the ball into the hole. On The Green. I know there are golf carts involved, and that golfers like to use expletives and names of fowls to describe and classify their shots. I know that my guy friends spent many high school summer nights snorkling in the leech infested ponds for golf balls. That's about it.

I won't go into the details of the event, how I spent several hours at home the night before doing "last minute" projects, or how I spent the morning finishing up "last minute" projects, or how I spent the afternoon finishing up "last minute" projects, or how I scrambled to get out of there to avoid any "last minute" projects. I will not get into how 99% of those "last minute" projects could have been completed weeks ago, while I'd sat on my butt waiting for them. I just won't, okay? Gees....pushy.

The golf course where we held the event was private of course, and I've never seen such a beautiful and large gated community. I absolutely postively DROOLED over the homes as I drove by, admiring the edged lawns, crisp estate sized floormats, and lawns that any self respecting golf course would pine for. There was not a soul in sight. I might have found this eerie if I wasn't so infected with the Home-Buying Bug. All I know is that my Toyota Corolla seemed a little out of place. Sorta like when you walk into Nordstroms in your faded Old Navy tee (what's WITH that box cut style they've got going on?!) and last year's frayed jeans.

The event went smoothly enough with only a few minor revelations. The first? I most definitely have absolutely zero knowledge about the San Jose Sharks, much less knowing their star player as he stood before me politely asking if he could please check in.

"Excuse me sir, could you tell me your last name? Oh? You said it's right there on the back of your jersey? Would you mind turning around so I could read that? Yes? Thanks...."

I was completely unaware until one of my coworkers ran up to me screeching "DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS?!?! HMM!?!?"

The second revelation? I am most definitely a girl. I was told to go run some lunches out to some people on the 7th hole and thrown the keys to the nearest golf cart.

"You know how to drive those, right?" Umm........no......... "Well, you'll get it. And be quick! I have some "last minute" projects for you to do!"

I sat in the seat for a few minutes trying to figure out how to get the thing going and nearly lost it when I looked down and saw TWO pedals....."Ohmi....is this thing a STICK!? WAIT! I CAN'T DRIVE A STICK!!!!!"

.................

..........................

Yeah, my car? That's not a stick? It has two pedals. This thought took it's sweet time channeling through the thick grey matter of my brain, and seriously, it was only hurting itself. Ischemc stroke is no laughing matter, Mr. Grey Matter. You should know.

Oh, and I REALLY could have done without that wide-load beeping noise as I reversed. That really wasn't necessary.

I know EVERYTHING!!!!!!*

2007-05-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

On the way home from tennis:

"Well if you're really getting into basketball now you should check out the rule book! Learn the terms!"

"I don't need to read the rules, Kim. Every straight male is born with ingrained rule books for every sport."

*to understand the hilarity of the title, you must first watch this.....all of it. Go ahead, sit back, relax. You can thank me later.

In which Freud has a field day

2007-05-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

We watched the Jazz vs Golden State basketball game tonight. We meaning both Caleb and I. Meaning Caleb watched a basketball game. On tv. Without any prodding from me.

Cabe likes sports...he likes golf, likes skiing, likes...Frisbee golf.... He's just never been into any of the traditional sports, never mind watching any on tv. I think it happened the other night when my cousins were in town. We listened to the last three minutes of the basketball game on the radio while we were driving home from the Giants game. He caught the bug. Whatever the reason, he's thrown himself into watching the last few games, gluing himself to the couch. The first time he turned it on I watched in amazement as he suddenly morphed into my dad, yelling insults at the players, suggesting new game plays to no one in particular. Now he's having entire conversations about it including his love for Fisher and Kirilenko, his utter hatred of Davis, throwing around their last names as if he's been watching his whole life.

It cracks me up.

He doesn't find it particularly funny, but he'll come around I'm sure.

The longer we're married the more I realize that I have indeed married my dad.

Just call me Steffi...

2007-05-14T22:18:00.000-07:00

Caleb and I recently decided to start playing tennis, mainly as a way to stay in shape because Caleb is most decidedly NOT a gym rat. I am perfectly content to run in place while catching Seinfeld re-runs, but Caleb needs to be moving, actively engaged.....I can't imagine why.

We bought cheap rackets at Target along with equally cheap tennis balls. We had no idea we'd end up going EVERY SINGLE DAY for two weeks straight. And counting. We've both really enjoyed getting outside and having something fun to do together besides molding ourselves into the couch. Until then I'd never actually held a tennis racket with the intent to play tennis. The closest I'd come was badminton, and those habits seem to die hard....for me at least. Caleb is one of THOSE, the kind of people who effortlessly master a sport on their first try. I watched him get up and ride a wake board the first time, turning tricks after just a few rides. I also watched him get up on the air chair on his first try, which really, is a feat in and of itself. Just trust me on that one.

Where was I? Tennis...yes...anyway, he spent a lot of time running after the ball I'd hit, three courts over. He still does, but thankfully less frequently. Except of course, when I attempt my backhand. Those balls usually end up either 30 feet behind me or narrowly missing the garbage can.

Here I am, attempting to serve. Not quite sure where the racket is in this shot...I'm sure it's somewhere....

Here, I decide to use my racket.

I have no idea what my other arm is doing, I believe it had a purpose though. It must have...

This? This is what I call......alright, I have no clue. At least my arm has somewhat been subdued...

Alright. That's enough. This isn't even funny anymore. Do you see my foot? That's sick. I do love my pensive face though.....very ethereal....

Here's Cabe, NOT showing off. At all.

Do you see those trees?! This tennis court happens to be in our new favorite little neighborhood, and if we had $2 million dollars lying around we'd cash it in for a two bedroom just a few streets down.....and yes, I said two million...and a two bedroom....it hurts my heart....

A garlic town and a cherry tree....

2007-05-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Caleb and I decided to hit up the....GINORMOUS....outlet mall just south of us. Caleb had a gift card for Ralph Lauren Polo, or Polo Ralph Lauren... or whatever...and so we decided to go see what we could get for our money. Apparently, not a lot. Am I the only one who feels that $50 for a shirt, at an outlet store mind you, is a little high? Just a little? Maybe it's just me?

After bedding back my shopping tick (I could have bought EVERYTHING at Gap....) we decided to explore Gilroy. It just so happens to be the Garlic Capital of the World, and yes, we will be attending the Garlic Festival this summer. Just so I can see some of the natives pop them like candies. They even boast garlic ICE CREAM for cryin' out loud. That's some serious garlic, and I plan to witness it. And then de-garlicify myself before returning home. Maybe I can rent one of those fancy suits they wear at the micro chip companies around here....

It's a gorgeous little area.

We saw this little sign and I immediately told Caleb to "drive on!", but not before capturing these lovely little blue flowers...

Beautiful, no?

We continued on after buying $2 worth of sweet cherries and found an old catholic (?) chapel and cemetery. A little reminiscent of the cemeteries I saw in France, and several of the headstones dated back to the early 1800's.

A few of Caleb's shots....

Anybody know what "IHS" or is it "THS", stands for?

It was a gorgeous chapel, and every once in a while the bells would ring out a song. Really beautiful. Though I will make it known that I am NOT a fan of the whole chiming out the hour thing. Especially while I'm in a cemetery. I have an irrational fear of grandfather clocks, I can't explain it. I just do.

I don't even want to THINK about what that place would be like at midnight, with the bells chiming.....makes my insides churn.

But these? These were DELICIOUS.

(Mental note: There is such a thing as too many sweet cherries....trust me....)

Driving

2007-05-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

A couple years ago Caleb took me on a date (I know shocker right? We DATED!). He'd told me to dress nice and took me to the Macaroni Grill where he surprised me with tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld's stand up show in Salt Lake. I was really excited, I'd heard so many great things about it, and really, who doesn't love Jerry Seinfeld? Hmm? That's what I thought.

(Oh! Funny story! Totally beside the point, but funny nonetheless. We walked out of the restaurant and ran into a girl we'd both gone to high school. She got married three months after graduating, and was rather smug about it. She struck up small talk, and soon we all realized we were going to the second showing of the night, and she'd just been to the first. "Well look at you two, tryin' to be all fancy!", she'd exclaimed. Very HA HA. Very.)

Anyway.

The show was fabulous of course, but one bit struck a cord with me. I can't even remember what he was getting at, but he said something about how funny it was that sometimes when you're with someone on a hill you imagine pushing them off it, or when you're driving you imagine what it would be like to drive your car off the ledge. Everyone was laughing of course, as however he'd put it was hilarious. I was laughing too, really hard. Very hard. Maybe a little TOO hard. Okay, I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my cheeks. It was like he'd traveled to the very inner recesses of my brain and just voiced them for all to hear. Okay, not the pushing-someone-off-a-ledge thing, but the driving thing. Back home there was a street near my house with a ravine off the side, and I'd drive by and wonder what it would be like to turn that wheel JUST a little bit.....I'd think about what it would look like, the landscape falling in the frame of the windshield. What it would sound like, the gate breaking, the metal scraping against the sides of the concrete slab. By this time I'd be a few blocks away before I'd finally snap back to reality. Sometimes I think about it when I'm sitting at one of those "T" intersections, what it would be like to NOT turn that wheel, to keep driving forward into the tree...bush...house...what it would feel like to hit that, to watch my headlights become more and more focused until they were two little dots of light.

I'm not quite sure why I do this, I've never actually thought I was going to do it. It's more like a musing, a fantasy. If I'm alone I sometimes continue with the trance, wondering what would happen afterward, would someone stop? Would I sit there in silence until I called someone? Would I get hurt? Need to see a doctor, or go to the hospital? Would it change the way I viewed the world? Would I look back on those few fleeting moments and divide my life into before the crash and after the crash?

I'm not even quite sure where I'm going with this, I have no direction, no point to make. Chock it up as a random confession, another tick to add to my growing list. Figuring myself out by turning out my insides.

Turkey Burgers for the Freak Eye

2007-05-08T22:31:00.000-07:00

Phew! What a game.....well, what an inning. That's the funny thing about baseball, you could potentially sit through 9 whole innings and not have a single run. Entire innings of nothin' but a game of catch. Last night's game had 4 very um...uneventful innings, one ginormous one, and then nothing. For that entire 5th inning I kept saying "THIS is what baseball should be like!" and "WOW! THIS IS....FUN!" (with a slight question there at the end....). Once the 6th inning rolled around I was back to people watching though, as that can always provide some entertainment. An old drunk man ranting and raving 30 isles away does the trick...

I also couldn't take my eyes off the view, the backdrop for the AT&T Park is the San Francisco Bay, the ocean water practically lapping the walls of the park. As we were walking in to the field we could see several kayakers swimming around in hopes of catching a fly ball. Along the back wall of the field displays a sign counting the number of "Splash Balls". The view was absolutely breathtaking.

The only thing that would have made the evening better would have been a few mediocre, yet astronomically priced hot dogs.....

Oh wait......

Actually, and you may not believe this, I too was shocked when Caleb brought it for me, they had turkey burgers. TURKEY BURGERS. At a baseball game! The lettuce may have been limp, the bun a little dry, but it wasn't a hot dog. I shed tears of joy.

Like, so excited to be here....

Trying out the telephoto lens....one of them cars is ours! It's AMAZING.

Happy, despite my 1,001 questions about baseball

Happy, despite the fact that Caleb stopped answering my 1,001 questions after, oh, 3....

Happy, despite spending $57 on 3 hot dogs and a turkey burger....

And because Caleb has decided that we must take a picture of My Freak Eye everywhere we go.....

There you have it, Freak Eye goes to the Giants vs Mets game.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

2007-05-07T16:41:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Guess what?! I'm going to the Giants game today! In San Francisco! Wahoo! It starts at 7:15, and since baseball games last for like, oh, EVER.....here's a few little things that have been on my mind lately and / or freaked me out, in lieu of a real live actual post.

Still with me? Good!

Hey you! Yeah, you Stay-At-Home-Moms! Ever wonder what you're worth? Now you know...

And this pretty much haunted my dreams for a WEEK. Shudder....

And just in case you needed another reason for why we LOVE where we are living now....and not so much missing Oregon....And I promise, this one has nothing to do with rain.

And here's something educational, just to even things out a bit....Mystery solved?

Oh, that is like, SO San Francisco....

2007-05-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

My cousin and his wife are in town for the weekend and we spent part of the day showing them around San Francisco. We love any excuse to explore that city! Especially on such a gorgeous day. How I love this California weather! We saw a clown breaking up a street fight (one man was dressed as a sailor and held a harpoon....), a half-naked hippie brushing his teeth by the river, no less than 10 people walking their Yorkies, and sampled an insanely wonderful chocolate bar at Ghirardelli Square. So yeah, it was a pretty normal day in San Francisco.

A few shots:

Beautiful Hadley & JoAnna!

This is one of our favorite beaches. Small, quiet, beautiful.

FINALLY

2007-05-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

Cabe and I are in the process of trying to replace our furniture, since most of it is old and / or.......I don't love it. Or like it. At all.

Since we live in an area with (ahhh!) Ikea, we can slowly begin the process. We found a dining table and chairs that we really loved the first time we went, but soon found out that the chairs were back ordered. That was oh.....three or four months ago. Every time I called to check on it, I'd get "Try back in two weeks!", and "Try back in two weeks!", and "Um, ya know, why don't you try back in two weeks?". We weren't getting anywhere. They finally came in this week and we drove up today to pick it up. We were so excited we practically ran through the displays to the massive warehouse. That's the thing about Ikea....so smart.....you've got to walk through the entire store to get out, there is no going back! You MUST see the cute bedding, the fun little organizers, the cookware, the kids toys (for later.....I swear....), and the outdoor furniture before you can check out.

Sure, Ikea is cheap, but everything comes in boxes for "easy shipping" and uh, you've got to put it together. So a manly man comes in handy....

And look! He even follows directions! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.
Oh, and Bear, never more than a few millimeters away...
Oh! And look! Basketball shorts! For the first time in the 6 or 7 years I've known him!

One table, one chair down....three more to go....

I.Am.In.Love. We broke it in by eating freshly steamed artichokes. I can't think of a better way to end the day.

The Weekend Blues?

2007-05-04T22:39:00.000-07:00

I am a work-for-the-weekend type of girl. I spend the entire week counting down the days until Friday, and then spend the entire drive home hyper-aware of the fact that THIS moment is the start of the weekend. I pull into my parking spot telling myself that these minutes are precious, that before I can even blink it will be Sunday night again. I do this same thing at the start of every vacation, usually beginning when I'm packing. Right now I'm packing for my trip. It hasn't even begun yet. I've got entire DAYS of it all ahead of me, appreciate every moment.... It never seems to work because the next time I think about it is when I realize that it's all nearly over, and I've let another wonderful weekend or trip slip right past me.

This weekend started off no different, and I'm already wondering what I've done with my time. I recall spending a lot of it moping in bed, covers pulled over my head while Caleb pleaded with me to please get up so we could do something. It doesn't make sense, does it? Nope. It does not.

That's all because I was in The Mood. The Mood seems to come and go as it pleases with no rules as to what tips it off or abates it. Caleb knows when I am in The Mood because the second I walk in the door I drop my keys, purse, and pants, and crawl into bed. Everything feels better when I'm under the covers.

Also, no-pants is key.

Caleb hates the no-pants for reasons I don't understand. As soon as he finds them, usually dropped where I was standing right beside my bed, rolled down like an accordion to perfect circles, he groans, throwing his head back in an overly dramatic fashion, "NO! NOT NO-PANTS!!!"

I believe he's afraid he's foreseeing his future, a wife who spends her days pant-less in bed eating dry toast and Ovaltine.

Actually, that doesn't sound half bad, does it?

Usually The Mood is fleeting though, nothing a Chicken Dance can't cure. The Chicken Dance was created specifically with The Mood in mind. It's fool-proof, and I highly recommend it's usage. One Chicken Dance a day keeps The Mood away.

And stuff....

But hey! It's only Friday! Yeehaw! Right?! Right guys?! Come on......

Our favorite dinner...

2007-05-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

And boy, were they good.............

Such a tough life....

2007-05-01T22:49:00.000-07:00

After a long flight, many french fries, several wobbly steps, a little bit of dog-ear pulling, and a bottle or two.....he crashed.

I could spend all day watching this little guy's facial expressions, they are infinite and all-consuming. He has a fascination with his tongue, and I've actually seen him roll it, twist it, and fold it (....mark it with a "B"....it's ingrained, isn't it? I thought so...).

I think I just heard a little "ping!" in my baby box.....

A thousand words.....

2007-04-30T21:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, he really will......

He loves me this much.......

2007-04-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

An interchange between Caleb and I today at church, discussing emergency preparedness kits:

"So, do you think we should get two one-month supply kits? Or just one for now?"

"Well, that depends, how long do you want to survive?"

Fish, in all the wrong places....

2007-04-28T22:09:00.000-07:00

I am constantly amazed at the area we live in, it's diversity. We're smack dab in the middle of the Silicon Valley, a veritable jungle of cars, industrial parks, and a rat maze of highways. Yet we can hop in the car and be lounging at the beach in 30 minutes, enjoying the sound of waves crashing, the smell of the ocean. Watching the pelicans skim the waters surface, and then dive-bombing the unsuspecting fish below. Rather comical, actually.

I love it.

Caleb insisted we take the dog today, which is never my favorite thing. The beach allows dogs but they must be leashed, which is a concept that Bear can't quite seem to grasp. And of course, there is the sand. I don't think I need to say anything more about that.

He seemed to enjoy himself though. So long as he didn't get in the water...he's a little bit of a baby.

Caleb, enjoying his Grapple (pronounced "grape-l"). It's an apple that tastes like a grape! And smells like Kool Aid! Fun for the whole family!

Me, enjoying a lovely book....but secretly people-watching. There is a fine line between looking and staring, and I cross it every day. I can't help it. See those girls in the back round? High school girls, one of them like, SO loving life, because her parents "pay for all her &%*$." Like totally.

What could possibly top such a lovely day? A soak in the tub? A good movie? No, not here. We ended the night by scaring the living daylights out of the dog. Bear was laying on the floor totally exhausted and in a deep sleep. Caleb snuck up on him and scared him out of his slumber, and I'm not kidding you, I've never seen Bear jump up so fast. Not even when one of us slips and says the p-a-r-k word. His eyes flew open, and he let out a quick yip, dashing out of the room.

We laughed of course, until we smelled The Fishbutt. Apparently Bear has decided that leaking his death-anal-fluid is much more effective of a tactic, than say, piddling.

I'd dare say he was right. I can promise you that neither of us will ever do that again.

Bridgette? Are you reading this? I'm going to be buying some Chem-Dry to replace your bottle...

Holding On

2007-04-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

As a young couple, in the beginning years of running a franchise, we're pretty frugal. Largely though, because we're just that way. Just recently I bought new flip flops to replace the $3.99 pair I bought at Fred Meyer....7 years ago.

(I should mention that Caleb very nearly forced me to hang them up, I was holding on for dear life.)

Last night we went on a shopping spree at Target and I bought a sports bra to replace the one I've been using since um.......junior high. Or was it even before then?

(Technically it wasn't even a sports bra, but a costume bra turned sports bra.) Believe it or not, I've grown a bit since then. It was high time.

I do not classify myself as a pack-rat though, I just tend to stick with stuff I like. I do think I can safely can add "clothing rut" to my list of OCD tendencies. Among so many others....

To be honest, I finally handed over all the clothing I wore in high school before we moved here. I still wore a good portion of it, but how long can one shirt really last? How many washings before I've officially got my money's worth? Surely five plus years is enough....it was actually really nice to downsize my wardrobe, if only to make more room for Caleb's. I've mentioned his inability to let things, especially clothing, go before. Trying to gently pry a six year old faded button down shirt out of Caleb's hands is like trying to convince a four year old to hand over all his Halloween candy. It just isn't going to happen without a fight.

But that is SO unlike me holding on to my flip flops. Not even related.

Gushing? Why yes, yes it is...

2007-04-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

Random websites and fun little diddlies...

Trash the Dress: Even though I experienced a small hernia seeing these gorgeous wedding gowns in the mud or sea, I couldn't help clicking through every single page. Absolutely gorgeous. Gutsy. Fun. Will definitely be keeping tabs on this site!

Curlisto: Great website to troubleshoot your hair. And the best part? You can get professional advice on your OWN HAIR. Just send a picture of your unstyled, product free hair to info@curlisto.com. I can't wait to get some advice on my frizz!!!

Apparently May is Med Spa Month. Who knew?! To celebrate, one company is offering their pricey services ($250 - $500!) for $99. Find out if there is a participating spa near you!

Lush: Oh how I love this store. Everything about it, from the all natural ingredients to the funky names and packaging. I recently decided to try out a few more products and I was not let down. Their "Rehab" shampoo is amazing - totally strips my hair of all the products I've slathered on to combat The Frizz. My hair has never been softer. I heart Rehab.

I also decided to try their "Ultralight" face moisturizer, and WOW. I would buy another tub just for the smell. Strangely the one I purchased smells different than the one in the store, but maybe because it wasn't new (since Lush's products are all natural, they do have a shelf life, just fyi). Anyway. Love the smell. It's a perfect blend for my normal skin (if you have oily skin, you might want to try another product...). I use it at night AND during the day, and my face is SO soft. Love it. It goes perfect with my....

"Purity" face wash from Philosophy. Slightly pricey*? Yes. Worth it? DOUBLE YES.... Confession: I didn't actually pay for it, I used my Drugstore.com dollars. It's very unfortunate though, because I've inadvertently created a monster. I.LOVE.THIS.STUFF. Love. Would marry it and have little soft, sweet-smelling Philosophy babies with it. SO gentle, and the smell is absolutely intoxicating. I drift off to sleep each night with a cheesy grin.

*Get the middle size - not breaking the bank, and it lasts forever...a little really DOES go a long way.

Run! Dance! Play my children!

The Hotness....it burns....

2007-04-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to a fun little get together with the ladies in my church. I helped make the salsa at the end, chopping green peppers and jalapenos. Despite washing my hands four times, I still have jalapeno juices on my fingers.

Even knowing this, I've managed to inadvertently put my fingers in my mouth on four different occasions. My mouth is on FIRE. FLAMES. You'd think I would learn.

I also rubbed my eye a few minutes ago. FIRE. FLAMES. TEARS.

I am not learning. I am learnedly challenged.

Let's see if I can get myself ready for bed, shall we? This should be an adventure.....

Weekend Festivites

2007-04-22T21:34:00.000-07:00

With our friends in town this weekend we celebrated two birthdays and the decade that exists between Caleb and Mark. That's right, a decade. 10 years.

You wouldn't know it though, watching the two together.

I'd been planning this party for a while, had reserved the theatre room and lounge in our apartment complex. We ordered pizza, drinks, and I'd made Caleb's favorite - Better Than Sex cake. (No comments, I get it.) We were going to play pool, foosball, table shuffle board, and finish it up with a movie in the theatre room. Oh, we were going to have a grand time!

That is, until it all started unraveling.

First, the apartment staff forgot to leave out the pool sticks and balls. We called the after hours pager and are still waiting for their return call.

One of the shuffle board pieces was missing.

The remotes that they gave us to use on the tv and projector didn't have batteries. Or the batteries were dead. Or whatever.

The light bulb in the projector was broken.

The trash compactor wouldn't turn on.

While annoying, it didn't deter us from eating our weight in pizza and cake. Which is really all that matters, right?

The boys show off their matching grandpa slippers, proudly.

About to partake of The Pizza, and rather excited about it.

The Chicken Dance. In which Caleb channels the Chicken Gods to come possess his body. This is a rare occasion, him performing for other people. It is usually reserved for me when I am feeling particularly down. The Chicken Gods work together with Caleb to cheer me up, as their sole mission is to promote happiness. If only everyone could experience it.

Shuffle board. In which they channeled their Grandpa Slipper Powers.

The only picture in DOZENS that is somewhat in focus. Babies move A.LOT.
Again, this face could bring about world peace. Solve world hunger.

The Gang. The Group. Really, we're framily. Or famnds.

You can't buy these kinds of friends. Once in a lifetime, that's for sure.

Guests

2007-04-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

We've got some friends in town this weekend, the two couples that we hung out with in Oregon. This little guy came along and made our group seven.

Is it possible to not love that face?! I propose that it is not. He's so big now, I can't get over it. He has little boy hair! And he's not even a year yet.

He fell off the air mattress. He's good though, little boys are rugged like that.

I love this little guy.

Just dripping with it....

2007-04-19T23:53:00.000-07:00

I have been addicted to this site since this morning. Addicted.

I read this one while taking a break at work (uh....huh....) and it nearly did me in. Word to the wise: do NOT read this at work unless you've got a few minutes to compose yourself. What with the tears and the air-gulping, well. It's just not professional.

Does wonders for the abs though, there is that.

I forwarded Caleb the link and he was not amused. Caleb doesn't appreciate The Sarcasm the way I do. I can't help it, it's in my blood. I come from a long line of sarcastic debaters (oh how we love to argue!), and this has been the bain of my existence / the fuel to my fire.

I secretly love it.

Caleb overtly does not.

So if ya'll are lovin' the sarcasm, check it out. If you're lookin' for ponies and rainbows, well, this just isn't your cup of tea.

Dog Park Habits

2007-04-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

We took Bear to the dog park today, he hasn't been for a while. Every time we pull into the parking lot Bear goes nuts, doing that silly high-pitched whine with his mouth closed. I'm always afraid someone is going to hear and call Animal Control on us. It sounds like we're beating him.

We were standing around watching Bear run from one dog to the next sniffing hello, when a woman arrived with her Doberman Pinscher. I was a little excited, you see, I've always had a thing for Dobermans. They're absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous. You should see them run, they've got the most graceful gait. Their face is so noble, protective. Super cuddly, they think they're lap dogs. Big, muscle-encased lap dogs.

Sigh. I digress.

The Dobie's owner was standing a few feet away from us, no doubt watching my eyes follow her dog like you would a tennis match.

"So, which one is your dog?" she asked Caleb and I.

We glanced around the park and found Bear. Oh, we found him alright. He was clutching onto the back of a Black Lab, doing his best to make up for his lost manhood.

"Um..............he's.........well..........." we both stammered.

"He's the one on top?" She joked.

Yeah....... awkward silence......

So we love the dog park. We're just not loving the bad habits he's picked up. I'm blaming this incident on what happened during our last visit. The minute we'd walked into the park Bear met a dog that took an immediate, all-consuming liking to him. The dog followed Bear around the entire time trying to hump him. THE ENTIRE TIME. As I watched Bear trying to shake him off, I actually could see the annoyance in his eyes. Like, DUDE, what is his DEAL?! It wasn't long before Bear got frustrated enough to seek revenge, giving him the what-for.

As we left today the Black Lab followed us to the gate, humping Bear the entire way.

Lesson learned? At the dog park, what goes around, comes around.

(and........cue Justin Timberlake.....)

Happy Birthday Caleb

2007-04-17T23:34:00.000-07:00

Caleb, remember when we....

*got caught making out by my Dad? And that cop? And that other one? And my sister, peeking through the blinds? And our friend's Dad? And those kids in the park?

*drove down to Vegas on Valentine's Day? We wandered around the various casinos until six in the morning. There weren't any restaurants open on the strip, so we ate at the McDonald's in the Luxor. We got tired driving home and pulled over to sleep at a trucker stop. I drove home and you slept the entire way, waking up every hour on the hour to pee. Too much Gatorade....

*danced outside your apartment in Houston in the rain? We ran all over the complex trying to find the biggest puddle to splash in. I've never seen it rain that hard before.

*drove off the side of the road in your car and the tv we were hauling broke your back window? That was the most I've ever heard you swear.

*drove around your cabin in the little red buggy? My hair was short back then, and whipped me in the eyes the entire time. I've never seen such gorgeous fall leaves in my entire life. It was breathtaking.

*took your nephew and my little sister to the dinosaur exhibit at Thanksgiving Point? We bought him an ice cream cone after, and you made the mistake of actually giving it to him in the car....

*waited outside Smith's Marketplace all night long for the Olympic Medals Ceremony tickets? You woke up early and snuck to your car to use the hairspray you'd brought along...which we all teased you for.

*stayed up until 4 am talking on the phone? We'd just barely started dating, and I told you things about myself that my best friends didn't even know. I had no idea why I was pouring out every little thing, laying it out in front of you. You reciprocated, and I felt better about myself.

*nearly ran out of gas driving down from the volcano in Maui? You kept our little sardine-sized rental car in neutral and we coasted into a gas station on fumes. However, you still managed to stop on the way down to take pictures....

*flew in that small airplane for our senior prom's day activity? You surprised me, and we flew all over Park City on down to Bountiful. You'd told my family about it and so when we flew over my house they was waiting for us on the driveway, little dots waving their arms. We nearly died landing, it was so stormy and windy. The pilot tried several times, always flying in sideways......You were so scared I thought you were going to crush every bone in my hand.

*drove up into the mountains? You'd gone up early to set up a couch on the hill so that we could watch the sun set, and you asked me to prom. We watched the thunder clouds roll over Antelope Island, and enjoyed the warm smell of rain in the air.

*hopped in your car at midnight to drive into the mountains to watch the meteor shower? It was the dead of winter, and we laid on your tailgate in sleeping bags to keep warm.

*were both so sick with the throat sores? As horrible as they were, I was secretly glad you had them too, so we could commiserate together on the phone for that dreadful week.

*went to Cheeseburger Mai Tai in Maui and loved it so much that we went back the next day, and nearly ordered (you deviator you!) the exact same thing?

*met up on a tiny beach in Galveston, TX? I was down there visiting Abby's brother and you and Tom were driving down some furniture for your sister. I gave you horribly vague directions to the beach house we were staying at, and you managed to find it. We spent the evening swimming in the ocean and playing cards.

*spent the evening cleaning up the water in the basement of your old house? The sprinkler pipe had broken and there was an inch of water soaking in the carpet. We laid out as many towels as we could and jumped around trying to get it all up.

*went to see Coldplay at the Salt Palace? I'd surprised you with tickets for Valentine's Day. I only knew one song but it didn't matter, you enjoyed it for the both of us.

*rolled down Valley View Elementary's big hill? You weren't in a good mood, so I made you pull over. I grabbed your hand and ran down the rock path and just started rolling down the hill. You sat and watched me at first, trying to keep the corners of your lips from curving upward. It didn't work, and soon we were both rolling down the hill like logs.

*used to go stack the deer on people's lawns? We nearly got caught that one time in Reece's car, and he nearly had kittens because he was just about to leave on his mission.

*went ice skating in downtown Salt Lake? Paul was there, and decked me in the face with a ball of snow / ice. You were so mad, but who would challenge Paul? Not me....(okay, so I did once in elementary...but that's beside the point...)

*went to see the lights at Temple Square, and your knee was injured from skiing? I pushed you around the grounds in a wheelchair and enjoyed all the stares people gave us.

*went fishing at your parents house and you taught me how to fly fish? The only thing I caught that day was the dog....

*climbed the tree in front of the church on Main Street? We sat up there for hours talking and watching the people below us. They had no idea.

*went boating with Jason, Cole & his neighbor? I had to come pick you up, and didn't know you at all. That big rock hit my windshield and you were absolutely aghast that I didn't freak out.

*went to see the fireworks at Mueller Park? We took Bear and he FLIPPED. We spent the entire time holding him under the blanket.

*first saw each other after I'd been in Australia, and you in Houston? I surprised you at the airport, you thought I was still in Australia. That look on your face was PRICELESS, I am so glad we caught it on camera.

*first went to Lake Powell with my family? I thought for sure that a solid week of my family burping, farting, and teasing each other would scare you off. Apparently it didn't.

*got engaged at your cabin on Christmas Eve? That was also where we had our first official date, and this last Christmas we spent the weekend there, my first time staying over night. It was absolutely freezing outside, but you built a warm fire and it was so cozy. I slept so well that night. It was calm, peaceful. I was perfectly content.

I love you Caleb. :) Happy Birthday!!

So as not to be gawked at....

2007-04-16T22:55:00.000-07:00

Should you ever find yourself at Tomatina restaurant....

That salad on a pita? Should be FOLDED you fools! You'll eat it with your hands and you'll like it.

Oh, you'll like it. I can promise you that.

Old

2007-04-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

Can't talk now, must go watch "Jungles" on Planet Earth!!!!! How am I going to survive once this show is over?!?!

Besides, I've got nothing interesting to report. On Friday we took the dog to the dog park after work, hit a local restaurant for dinner, and then watched "Wimbledon". It was on tv. I've never in my life felt so much like an adult. Take the kids to the park, a quick "date", and then turn in early.

All I needed was some pink curlers in my hair and a long nightie. Tall glass of Metamucil. Lawrence Whelk anyone?

Fresh Pesto Pasta Salad

2007-04-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

I'm a little reluctant to give away this insanely wonderful recipe - but feel I must, because it was so generously given to me by my good friend Bridgette. I must pass on the love. It's really easy. It's absolutely delightful. It's a perfect addition to a summer barbecue. Or when you're feelin' the winter blues.......

Fresh Pesto Pasta Salad

1 pkg. (16 oz) small shell pasta*

1/3 c. red wine vinegar

1 T. sugar

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. Dijon mustard

1 pressed garlic clove

3/4 c. olive oil

1 c. chopped fresh** basil

1 pkg (3 oz.) shredded parmesan cheese

1/2 c. toasted pinenuts***

cherry tomatoes, cut

Prepare pasta, run under cool water and drain. In a separate bowl, whisk vinegar & next five ingredients. Gradually whisk in olive oil. Add vinaigrette to pasta. Add chopped basil, cheese, pinenuts, tomato. Toss, serve, and graciously accept the gratuitous comments which will be inevitable.

*I use bowtie. Cause it's cute. But I SUPPOSE you could use whatever you wanted.....

**MUST be fresh. MUST. It's what makes this salad.

***DOESN'T have to be toasted. I've done both. Still great either way.

Taxes and Shock Therapy

2007-04-12T22:24:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have anything to say. I've been staring at this blank screen for several minutes now, willing something interesting or funny or insightful to flow through my fingers.

As if that sort of thing happened here.

Ha!

Really though, I'm just burnt. It's at the end of a long day, a long week rather, and my entire self is completely and utterly wrapped around the fact that despite the deadline being mere HOURS away, my taxes aren't done. And oh, yup, there goes the IBS.

I am a list maker. A planner. A finish-it-before-it's-due kinda girl. I have to be this way, or my stomach will fold in on itself like a black hole. The Black Hole of Anxiety.

Which is about where I am right now. So I'm going to go to bed and try to not think about the fact that when my alarm goes off tomorrow morning it will be six hours closer to the deadline.

---------------

In other news, I have managed to loudly proclaim "I'm retarded" to my co-workers not once, but twice in the past two weeks. I work in an organization that deals primarily with special needs people. This, as you may understand, is a problem. Thankfully my coworkers are easy going, teasing me about being the newbie and assuring me that they all had to deal with eradicating that from their vocabulary when they started. But still. The problem is that I don't notice until after I've said it. Something has to be done. I can only imagine the horror that would ensue if I slipped in front of someone who has special needs.

The only idea of substance that I've come up with is a shock collar........

Certainly over his tummy woes....

2007-04-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

(Ohmigosh, YES! Another dog post! The madness! You love it!!)

One of my friends at work introduced us to The Light. The haven of a rested (read: completely and utterly worn out) dog.

Enter, The Dog Park.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Cue the Angel Music....

The blur of The Pack

As soon as we let Bear off his leash he took off running and didn't stop. Not until we practically had to drag him out an hour later. Not unlike dragging a toddler away from the candy isle at the grocery store.

A large group of the dogs there just wanted to run. No rhyme or reason to it, one would just take off and the rest would follow. We watched this pack run over a man not once, but twice. This may be partly due to the fact that after the first time the guy was pummeled he continued to lie there on his back, his arms and legs curled into himself. When he finally got up and brushed himself off, he sheepishly looked at his audience and said "I....I....just felt like lying there for a while."

Uh....huh......

Sweet, shy little puppy...

Bear thought he had died and gone to heaven. Not only were there dozens of other dogs to sniff and play with, but several People had brought their own balls and /or Chuck-Its. Bear has a weakness for Chuck-Its and he'd make a beeline to anyone holding one, waiting patiently for them to throw the ball for him. He'd steal it every time and madly dash away.

As shown here.

One happy mutt. And Caleb's Fred Flintstone foot.

Them bones, them bones....

2007-04-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

My dog gets into things. Things he shouldn't. Things he KNOWS he shouldn't. Things that will make him puke. He's got to have figured it out by now, right? Eat something out of the tall white bin = puking in the corner.

Hasn't figured it out yet.

So it's Easter Sunday. I gingerly take out the Butt Ham and make a point to stuff the plastic wrapping and sponge (to soak up the butt juices....lovely....) from the bottom of the bag into the depths of the garbage can. I know my dog.

Of course though, when we returned from church we discovered that the smell of the cooking ham had proved to be too much for our dog, who had sought to satisfy his cravings. The meat bag was in pieces on the floor.

The usual scolding followed, but since it WAS Easter we decided to give him the ham bone anyway. We either hand it over nicely or he riffles through the trash to get it, right? At least this way I know he's not smashing ham bits into the carpet.

He is not used to getting treats. Here, the mind of my dog....

I have no speech.

Quick! Scan the horizon for poachers!!

Meat meat meat...I love meat....

I am unable to convey my gratitude: I lick in your general direction.

I wish I could end the post here, with my dog adequately fat on ham butt. But no, such is not the case. As you probably could guess.

Let's fast forward a few hours. While Caleb and I are rubbing our full bellies, the mutt noses the door, his usual sign for I am Bored. Release me. After obliging him for an hour or so, Caleb lets him in and discovers the sponge from the ham butt bag. Unless we've been visited by the Butt Sponge Fairy, (oh the Google searches that will pull up....) I think we can safely assume the sponge didn't sprout legs and make it's way to the porch. It had some help from a greedy dog tummy.

Do you think it felt used? Toyed with a bit? Like a fish, tossed back into the ocean?

So. Puke. We've got puke.

The next afternoon the situation is repeated. Nudge & oblige. This time however Caleb opens the door to the deck and discovers a veritable Poop War Zone. With casualties aplenty.

We spent the next 24 hours letting Bear out any time he got antsy. He did not disappoint. Which actually, is rather nice at 4 am. I'd rather drag myself out of bed, down three flights of stairs, and into the cold knowing that I was preventing another Attack of the Killer Poop. And when I say I, I mean Caleb. I felt better knowing he wasn't braving the bleary night (who has time for contacts at 4 am?) in vain.

Not that I didn't feel sorry for the dog. I'm not totally immune to the pathetic groans of a dog mid-squat. He got a few tummy rubs.

Lesson learned. The hard way. Yet again.

Nothing says Easter like.....

2007-04-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

Mmm....hickory butt ham.....

We were feeling the "Easter Spirit" and decided to give Bear the bone.

We shouldn't have. More on that tomorrow. Right now I need to keep myself from gagging...

Easter 101

2007-04-08T20:12:00.000-07:00

Does anyone wonder we color eggs at Easter? What's up with the Easter Bunny? And why in the world is it laying eggs?

I was. So I looked it up. :) A couple of blurbs, below...

Why eggs?
Eggs, like rabbits and hares, are fertility symbols of extreme antiquity; since birds lay eggs and rabbits and hares give birth (to large litters) in the early spring, these became symbols of the rising fertility of the earth at the Vernal Equinox.

And why color them?
The precise origin of the custom of coloring eggs is not known, although it too is ancient; Greeks to this day typically dye their Easter eggs red, the color of blood, in recognition of the renewal of life in springtime (and, later, the blood of the sacrificed Christ). Some also use the color green, in honor of the new foliage emerging after the long "dead" time of winter. Other colors, including the pastels popular in the United States and elsewhere (possibly symbolizing the rainbow), seem to have come along later.

Why is a bunny laying eggs anyway?
Recently, a neopagan legend has sprung up concerning the Easter Bunny. Though it is usually circulated as an ancient Pagan tradition, it does not appear before 1990; According to the story, the goddess Eostre found a wounded bird in the snow. To help the little bird survive the winter, she transformed it into a rabbit, but the transformation was incomplete and the rabbit retained the ability to lay eggs. In thanks for its life being saved, the rabbit took the eggs and decorated them and left them as gifts for Eostre.

Some other traditions....

Some communities in the United States have renamed the animal the "Spring Bunny," to avoid perceived religious overtones. This has provoked some controversy.

In Hungary children prepare nests, in which the Bunny will leave eggs, chocolates and other presents. Sometimes the parents present a live rabbit to their child.

In Australia, rabbits are an invasive species and generally considered pests. A long-running campaign to replace the Easter Bunny with the Easter Bilby, a native marsupial, yielded moderate success. Easter Bilbies are a common and unremarked sight in many Australian stores around Easter. The sale of chocolate Easter Bilbies was to fund raise for the "Save the Bilby" campaign. ^[2] As the bilby is a threatened species,^[3] it does not have the same connotations as rabbits, and the Easter Bunny remains considerably more recognized and better-known.

In France and Belgium, the eggs are said to be dropped from the sky by the cloches de Pâques (Easter bells). In Christian tradition, church bells were silenced on Good Friday, out of respect for the death of Christ and rang again on Easter morning to celebrate the resurrection. The church bells, represented as flying bells (with wings), are said to have gone to Rome and flown back on Easter morning, loaded with eggs which they drop on their way back.

Now you know.

Because my inner child would have pitched a fit otherwise....

2007-04-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

We colored Easter eggs tonight. We're married. We don't have any children. But we colored eggs.

This was all made possible by me, because I refuse to believe that we're too old for that kind of thing. I have a tendency to do that, hold tight to childhood traditions. If I had absolutely no restraint, I'd be forcing Caleb to hide half the eggs in the morning so that I could go find them. I'd of course reciprocate because I'm just that nice.

But I won't. And we'll all just pretend like I didn't admit to that.

I probably shouldn't admit how excited I was that the egg dying kit I bought had 10 different colors. TEN WHOLE COLORS. You know, in my day we only had five colors - red, green, blue, yellow, and purple. We didn't have these new-fangled colors like teal, or brown, or strawberry. No suh.

That squatty one is brown. And the silty pink one on the right didn't work so well.

See that? BROWN. STRAWBERRY.

After a bit, I decided I needed to share the love. So I made one for the Easter Bunny. Because he works hard.

This is a swirly heart. For.........the tub. Because I love the tub.

And this one is.......the Italian flag (albeit backwards....). Because I love Italy.

And this one is for my homies in San Francisco. Because...well...just cause.

Caleb indulging me...on condition that he be able to catch up on the shows he's missed this week.

Lemon Trees

2007-04-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

I've done some stupid things in my life. I'll admit it. I think if you ask my Dad though (and Caleb, he wasn't too happy about it either...) one instance stands out a little more than the others.

I'd only been in Australia for three or four days when Sunday came around. I was really looking forward to going to church, in part because I was alone. I craved a bit of kinship. I found the address on the Internet and printed off a nice little bus map for myself.

"I can do this!" I told myself, trying hard not to think about the fact that I was indeed in an entirely different country. Had only been for mere hours. Had no idea where anything was. This was going to be a piece of cake.

I got up at 6 am to get ready and get to the bus. I was going to get there EARLY even. It was going to be great. I pulled out the map I'd printed off in the university's computer lab and headed down the street, looking for the 237 bus stop. I continued walking. Walked some more. I'll walk just to that street there, I'd tell myself, that has to be it. After a good 20 minutes though, I finally pulled myself out of my thick denial and realized that if I wanted to get to church I was going to have to walk the entire way. It couldn't be that far right?

Did I mention I was wearing boots? Tall black ones. I distinctly remember wearing tall black boots.

So I assessed the situation, I mean, I had a map, right? I could get there. So what if the map cut off that road a little...the road the church was on....

It took me an hour and a half before I decided that yes, I was lost. Lost in Australia. I'd seen some lovely neighborhoods though, there was that. Most of the homes were built up, with the garage as their first level. Many of the garages were detached but hollowed out of the hill it was on, like a cave. I liked that. I had also seen my first lemon tree, my first orange tree. They were just growing there on someones front lawn just bursting with gorgeous fruit. Like that was totally normal. And I liked that too. I'd seen a woman selling roses on the sidewalk. She had a lovely amber broach pinned to her crocheted blouse.

I decided that I wanted a lemon tree in my front yard when I grew up. I'd make homemade lemonade and my girls, with their curls, would sell it on the sidewalk in front of our house.

But back to the stupid stuff, right?

So it's been an hour and a half and I've officially walked off my map. No more map. And I'd just walked three blocks to find myself in a cul-de-sac. As I turned around to head back, more than a little dejected, with a tiny bit of fear, I noticed a car slowing down....in fact...I'd seen that car earlier. About a half an hour earlier. The car stopped and a mop of black hair popped out the window. "Hey Sheila!* You look lost, you need a ride?"

Now, I know the right answer here, I went to the Stranger Danger assembly in elementary. Never talk to strangers. Never take candy from strangers. Never get in cars with strangers. Strangely though, I found myself walking towards his car. I walked all the way across the street thinking this would be okay. I stopped just shy of his window and told him the street I was looking for, he said he knew where it was and would take me there. I closed my eyes, said a silent prayer, and walked to the other side and got in.

I got in the car of a stranger. This didn't exactly occur to me until I was IN the car. A little bit late, I know. I tend to leap first, regret later.

He started driving, and I took a minute to size him up. College student, no doubt with all the fast food wrappers littering the car floor. He was in his sweats. He was a little more than hung over. When we turned onto Blaxland road, the road I was looking for, I breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't going to take me somewhere and chop me into bits! Score! I spotted the church and he pulled into the parking lot. Trying not to tempt fate, I immediately went for the door handle before the car even came to a stop. He leaned over though, his cheek jutting out for a kiss. I'd seen this custom acted out a lot since I'd been there, so I obliged him. Anything to get out of the door. Then I turned and had one foot out when he said "No".

Ugh.....................here was the "bits" part then......

I snuck a peek. His eyes were squeezed shut, his lips puckered. He was waiting, ever so patiently, for a kiss. "Um, no, sorry" I said, trying to stifle a laugh, and got out of the car. "Oh come on," he begged, "a little Sunday smooch?" I again told him that no, I would not be kissing him, shut the door and began to walk off. "Hey!" he said, and I turned to see him leaning rather precariously out of the car window, "Maybe next time we'll meet under more romantic circumstances!" I nodded, a little too enthusiastically, and walked out of sight.

So there you have it. And let that be a lesson to you, never get in cars with strangers. They may try to charm you with their beer breath and old grey sweats.

*Sheila is not my name, you may have noticed. Sheila is a catch-all name for any and all females in Australia.

Sonoma

2007-04-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

And now, the long-awaited pictures from our weekend in Sonoma. I know, I know, you've all been DYING. Waiting ever so patiently, like an expected phone call from that hot guy in science.

So here they are, a random smattering of our fancy upgraded hotel room* (they had speakers in the bathroom!) and the Cornerstone Gardens (big garden that brings in top landscape architects from all over the world to design their own little plot), where we spent the majority of our day in absolute awe.

*G-rated, fun for the whole family!

Bath & Body Works products in a hotel? You don't say!

Norwegian Trolls in Sonoma? Sure! Why not! (Only my mother would appreciate this)

We ate lunch, and Caleb found his long lost love - Big Red Soda. I thought it tasted like dirt. But that's just me....

I chose peach flavoured apple cider. It was delightful. Pinkies up ladies!

After a nice rest in the sun.... (yes, that's an exhibit...)

We decided to up the ante. We meant business.

Thems were big chairs.

Caleb can juggle.

Ooh! Metal hangy thingies!

Tunnel of shrubs....

Happy 2 years to us!

Baseball Anatomy

2007-04-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

It's a dang good thing I have this mutt. He keeps Caleb occupied, fills up our vacuum canister with fur, pukes on the carpet, pukes on his bed (I caught him in time...that's what he gets for horking on my carpet), randomly disperses our garbage throughout the house while we're gone, (sending us on a literal treasure hunt....) and gives us a lesson on what exactly makes up a baseball.

1. Layer 1 - delicious leather covering.

Rest. That was tough.

2. Tiny white string - (Begin unraveling. It's best if you do this in many locations, thereby distributing string evenly throughout the entire apartment.)

3. Bluish-blackish-purpleish string.

Bla bla bla...................yada yada yada....string string string......

4. Thin grey string......

Bla bla bla..................yada yada yada....can no longer see the floor.....

5. Ah. Yes. The Red Rubber Ball.

Look lovingly at Red Rubber Ball. You love Red Rubber Ball.

6. Fortunately for the viewers at home, he ripped into Red Rubber Ball 1.5 seconds after this photo was taken. Next layers? Black Rubber Ball, and Brown Wooden Ball.

Neither lasted long.

This could possibly explain the puke.

Or maybe it was all that air he breathed yesterday.

LOL

2007-04-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

I can has cheezburger?

That's all I have to say about that.